Recently, with the visting college and all, I am moving back and forth from my house to the campus. On the way across Philly, or Philadelphia for those of you who live outside of the tri-state area, there locates a quaint little club on the corner of the block. I would have passed by it unknowingly, had it not been for a flamboyant pink paper on its window. I drive a '98 Toyota Camory, so I know that it won't be bothered if parked in the urban Philly. With this knowledge, I got out of the car.
The paper, on a closer inspection, is an advertisment for an audition in a week. I've always wanted to be in an audition, so I thought I'd get some materials together and go on stage.
After the week, and spending every waking moment working on the audition, I was ready. My name was called. My heart beats off-tempo as I paced up toward the stage. When my foot hits the riser, everything is calm. I approch the microphone, and spoke.
...
"I can't hear you!", said a man in the crowd. I can't see who it was, for the stage light was blinding my eyes. But by the sound of it, I'm pretty sure it was Ted Nugent. It turned out that I tripped over the mic wire and disconnected it. No wonder. The electronic messed up my pacemaker while it was connected, and the plug outlet was located near the riser. I plugged it back in. I took a deep breathe, and then began my audition.
"I’m Asian, if you didn’t know. We’re a minority in just about everywhere and everything. But I would really like to see us on the big screen and television. And, I don’t mean being “the math nerd that has to use his kung-fu to save his family’s dojo”. Not that I’m busting on Jackie Chan. I mean, I love the guy and the work he does, it’s excellent. We’re getting somewhere though, because other than Lucy Lu, we’re getting parts like the servant to a rich white family. Yeah. We’re getting roles the blacks got HALF A FREAKING CENTURY AGO! I want us to corner the media market. I mean, the blacks’ got sports, the white guys…they have the talk shows (Other than Oprah and Montel). We should take over movies and television. If I ever become the President (yeah, right), first, I would get rid of Valentine’s Day (but that’s another story)…then, I’d make laws so more Asians can get some of that sweet, sweet camera time. It doesn’t even have to be me, though. It can be any Asians in the White House. The closest thing we’ve got is Condoleza Rice. Thank you, you’ve been great."
The mic caused a feedback when I returned to my seat, everyone's eyes glued to my every step. I was the first to go, maybe I did something wrong.
It turned out the audition was for the new season of "Sex and The City", and they were casting male-whores to be the boyfriends for the ladies.
I didn't get the part.