Recently, I acquired GTA III legally. When I slipped in that Sony disk with the word “GTA III Installation” on it, I knew I was in for a ride. While waiting for the machine to install this thrilling game onto my laptop, I decided to go out for a walk. Being an outdoorsy person, I stepped out of my home in just a cargo pants, t-shirt, and fitted leather jacket that I love to wear. Since this was such a crisp day, I wanted to stroll through the park.

The five sets of quintuplets were out and about throughout the city today. It’s common to mistaken them for their identical siblings. I kept running into the same five people again and again on my walk. It seemed like I’m the only child in the city. I have no family, and recently I just busted out of jail. Well, more like the prisoner transport that was on its way to the jail. Some black guy told me to drive to this hideout he knew, and the rest was history.

I passed the public phone about halfway to the park. It was ringing again. It’s always ringing, yet it never seemed to bother anyone. Except me. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve rampaged, driven through, or dodging bullets in that area, only to have my concentration broken by that incessant ringing. I finally walked up and picked up the phone and checked out what all the hubbub was about. I passed out.

My whole vision was black, except for some faint caricature of some of my bosses. And, in yellow bolding words, it said “F*** Her Up Good”. Suddenly, I had an out-of-body experience. I can see myself holding the phone. Although, my body was a little more rigid than usual. I shifted back and forth as some mysterious voice spoke to me through the receiver.

“Ay, mon! Der’z a new stoo-dee-oh downtown. I wahn joo do check eet out, mon. Say hi do a friend of myne down dere. Have fun!”

I blacked out again.

When I came to, there was a pink Chevrolet parked next to the phone, on the street. My urge kicked in, I spun around and punched the person who walked pass behind me. It was a police on patrol. I’ve done it again! I rushed to the Chevrolet bouncing another huge, blue, upside-down arrow on its roof, and took off.

After following the radar on the bottom-left of my windshield, I was able to get to the studio in seconds. When I stepped out of the car, however, I got a punch right in the mouth. It was one of that cop’s identical siblings, out for revenge. I felt the life being knocked out of me, about five hearts’ worth. Since, I was on a mission; I chose to run into the building. Otherwise, I would’ve stood there with one of my arms up, guns disappearing and reappearing in my fist until I’ve found the right weapon, and opened fire.

When I got to the door, I kept bouncing off it. With more cops on the scene, and their bullets whizzing into me. I felt more of my hearts decrease. I checked my lower left vision, and I was running into the pink box like it showed me. Unable to make it in time, I collapse on the ground, showered by rains of my own blood. It’s a good thing I don’t have to worry about the stain setting my clothes, because it always drips past my body and land on the ground instead.

“WASTED!” As I see in my vision, while spiraling up into heaven, and waving good-bye to my carcass.

I awoke a few hours later, standing straight in front of the hospital. Damn medics, they swiped a few tens of thousands of dollars from my tiny pockets again. Forgetting about the mission, and the walk through the park, I chose to go home instead. After throwing the owner out of his vehicle, I carjacked the ride and drove home.

I went back into my room to check on my game installation. Five percent completed. Perfect.