No, I don’t mean a kitty cat, I mean those annoying annoyers from annoy-land such as I. Most people think that to be a pussy, you just say inappropriate and irrelevant comments and get on the readers’ nerves.
But it takes more than that.
It’s an art. Only the best of us can be a pussy, and have people think that the behavior is so ridiculous, that it is the pussy’s actual persona. I come from a long line of annoyers. My father, Boner L. W. Wolf, used to annoy by patronizing disco clubs, then do the Charleston. My grandfather, L. Loner W. Wolf, used to annoy his sergeant during the second World War by placing ready-to-explode grenades in his pillow. I first discovered my talent circa 1998, with the re-release of Super Mario Wold on SNES. It was a Saturday afternoon at my cousin’s house, and I was my turn to play as my favorite, as well as the main character in the game, Luigi. It was only moments later, the screaming started.
“Oh my gawd, man! Stop smashing the buttons so hard!”
“Jeez, you’re suppose to DODGE the enemies! Move AWAY from them!”
“Dude, you just ate the star! You’re invincible! STOP dodging the enemies! GOD, you suck at Mario Wold!”
I had a hilarious time listening to them screech and whine as tears of happiness flowed down my cheeks. It was then I discovered that I had a natural gift of annoying people, but, I was still rusty. Since 1998, I’ve formed a junta just for people who were especially skilled to annoy people. As Founder and President of “People United to Simply Annoy You”, or PUSSY for short, we’ve refined and gamma radiated the power of skin-burrowing.
Around the turn of the third millennium, we’ve developed a project which would tick off the subjects so horrifically, the person who released this weapon would lead the subjects to believe this person is a loser in real life. We aptly named this project “Germination Stage”. As the Preside and Co-Founder, I volunteered to be the person to activate this weapon. The project was a complete success. The hypothesis was proven, which was that people everywhere would say “Wolf, at first I was just going along with everyone to pity you, but now I see that you are actually a person to be pitied”, and something along that line.
There aren’t that many people who could achieve such status such as me, Angry Baboon, and Archangel. It takes years of discipline, and natural-born luck. If combined in a deadly way, you, too, can also dodge the enemies when you’ve eaten the invincibility star.