THE FINE PRINT

The use of the word SPAM is not an endorsement of this meat-like product, nor is it a condemnation of it. The use of the word SPAM, A trademark of the Hormel Foods Corporation, (being the name of a product of that corporation) is used in keeping with the fine, Pythonesque tradition of the use of the word SPAM. The word SPAM, as it appears in this context, bears striking similarity to it's utilization in the phrase 'Stop Spamming me! I say! Stop sending SPAM to this email address or I'll sic my lawyers on you, you bloody Viking.' The usage of the word SPAM is not meant to imply any relationship, link, tie, or interaction with the Hormel Foods Corporation or any of its subsidiaries. Thank you. Geeze, can't even make a joke anymore....

I might add that Woop-ass is not canned by the Hormel Foods Corporation nor is it a registered trademark of that corporation. Thanks again.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Being a brutal and uncalled-for butchering of the Great Marlowe 
and an irreverent tribute to Monty Python
      (as if a reverent tribute to them would be possible)
                 --------------------


The Passionate Viking and His Spam


Come with me and eat my SPAM
And we will all the pleasures scan
that one in SPAM, eggs, sausage, and SPAM
SPAM, or meat-ish SPAM may cram.


And we will sit upon the rocks 
as Vikings feed while wearing socks
on SPAM, eggs, sausage and SPAM
while melodious birds sing on prams.


And I will make thee slabs of SPAM
Made of a thousand meat-ish stuff in cans
and capped with gristle, fat and stashed,
nay, more like embedded all in pinkish mass.


We'll wear bibs made of the finest wool
and with our knives and forks we'll pull
Fat-lined slabs all greasy and cold
On dishes of the purest gold.


A belt of maroon gristle quivers
with bumpy lumps and amber slivers
and if these processed meat parts may thee slam
Come with me and we'll eat SPAM


The Viking swains shall dance and sing
Of Hormel's SPAM each May morning
If these delights thy mind may have,
Then live with me and eat my SPAM.

 
        -Michael C. Paul, March 26, 1999

© 1999-2003 Michael C. Paul