The Jock Collection

Tired of Mr. Work-a-holic-Single-Focused Career-Driven No-Damned-Fun? Need a man who can do more than endlessly contemplate global conspiracies while slaving over a hot set of tax returns or preparing gourmet meals? How about one who can endlessly contemplate the intricacies of the perfect curveball, instead?

The Jock, while still dedicated to your every pleasure and whim (and his search for the capital *T* Truth, of course) is capable of kicking back, hanging out with the guys (and *only* the guys) and discussing sports minutiae for hours and hours on end. He's fit, fabulous, will never accuse you of *throwing like a girl*, and a real asset at those interminable company picnics. The Jock comes fully equipped for the sport of your choice, and has his own life time supply of tensor bandages, slings, splints, and ice packs (sure, he's a great athlete, but he's still just a *little* clumsy).

Please Specify:

• Out-There-In-Left-Field MulderClone

• RoundBall MulderClone

• Gymnastics MulderClone

• Synchronized Swimming MulderClone
  

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The Diplomat

He's tall. He's dark. He's handsome.  And he's so very , very much more. This MulderClone comes complete with formal wear and casual wear, glasses, and a great sense of humor. He's a ballroom, Latin, and modern dance expert, speaks four languages fluently (even English!), knows which fork is which, can tell an endless stream of funny, non-offensive and politically-correct jokes and STILL get people laughing, carries his own lobster mallet, and can eat an artichoke without injury to himself or others!  Connected enough to get you invited to all the best parties and premieres, but down-to-earth enough not to take that fact, or himself, too seriously, this is the Clone for the aspiring socialite in all of us.

Surf-n-Turf

Go on, admit it:  deep down, in you heart of hearts, even as liberated, twenty-first century, and post-post modern as you are, all you've ever really, really, really wanted is your very own sand,-sun, and fun boytoy. Our Surf-n-Turf MulderClones is perfect for you!  Ready for a long day at the beach, a long trail ride, or any outdoor adventure in between. This clone comes with his own riding gear, sturdy hiking boots, chaps (of course!), snorkel, scuba gear, surf board, wake board, water skis, a volleyball and net, a pail and a shovel, a towel for two, and, naturally, the Speedos. SPF 45 (large economy size) and snazzy pair of RayBans included with this model. 

Romantique

What's more heart-warmingly, stomach-flutteringly, toe-curlingly delightful than a quiet, cozy, intimate dinner for two? A quiet, cozy, intimate dinner for two which is prepared by and shared with your own private MulderClone, of course! Dapper, dashing, bright, and witty, this clone could easily fit in at any Hollywood premiere or festive gala, but he'd rather spend his time tending to hearth, home, and your every romantic need. If modern life is getting you down, he's quick with a sympathetic ear, a foot massage, a no-limit platinum card, and an offer to do all the cooking, cleaning, and laundry, while you pamper your stress away in a bubble-filled Jacuzzi. Of course, if you insist, he's willing to join you in the tub, too. Is there something more you could ask for? We didn't think so.