So on one fine day the Running Dog Lackeys decided they needed a Leader. They called apon one Washy Sockatoomie Calavicci to fill the position....
The first thing Washy Sockatoomie Calavicci, Leader of the Running Dog Lackeys did was to feed them all pizza. After they were filled with energy of pizza she led them in an attack on the Exploding Quantum Geese. But it was disastrous, for the Geese won. Washy decided they had not enough Running Dog Lackeys (there were only seven) and there were too many Exploding Quantum Geese (there were thirty). So she decided to look for someone who knew something about dog lackeys and quantum geese....
Ah but this took many a pleasant valley sunday. Pretty soon the Dog Lackeys decided it wasn't so bad to have eaten underwear. But still the Quantum Geese were fierce.
After a mighty mad battle between the Leader and some Igniting Rosetta Fireflies, the Leader came apon one Soggy Subber Roul Jopageri. This Soggy Subber Roul Jopageri knew where the Brotherhood Of Running Dog Lackeys lived. There were over 27 new Dog Lackeys. And so with a fierce battle using pizza, telephones, twinkies, and cheez-its underway, the BrotherHood joined the Order.
For Soggy's bravery the young Soul was given the privelege of being an Honourary Knight Of The Running Dog Lackeys (who eat underwear).
But then a tragedy came upon Burgerburg, land of the dog lackeys, quantum geese, rosetta fireflies, etc...the CACA. Ah, it was a dreadful thing to behold...from 12:00 to 12:30 every day, CACA would come falling out of the sky and cover EVERYTHING. If you were not sheltered properly, you would be CACAed.
Yet see this doesn't seem so tragic, except that the CACA stayed there past the 12ish times. Pretty soon there needed to be a Lord Of The Caca, yet there was none to be found thruout the land. Oh what sorrow. So, as the sun did become high above the sky, the Dog Lackeys, and their Knight and Leader did wish for a Lord of the Caca.
As time went on, the raining of CACA became more festive. As the 8th of the month did roll by there became a CACA fest, and it did reign to be the Dog Lackeys most celebrated time. It was a joyous celebration, and all did participate in the precipiation of CACA.
But still, alas, there was no Lord of CACA. One was needed, for the CACA was getting a bit out of hand. It needed someone to watch and rule over it. They were having CACA tryouts one day (well picking a Lord of CACA is a complicated process). One very odd creature was there...he claimed to be from the California Association of Cool Ants. He said, "Hi, my name's Bill. Bubbles come outta my head, wanna see?" He then disappeared and was never seen again.
But finally, they found just the right person. He was Micky of Dolenzia, with hair like a giant tree, and eyes the color of the dirt on which the dog lackeys ran apon. In No Time he had calmed the CACA down, and the land was peaceful, yet CACA-y, once again.
And so the land was peaceful, as was said once before. The Explosive Quantum Geese had joined forces with the Igniting Rosetta FireFlies and had moved away. The Dog Lackeys were being taught by their Knight and Leader, and by the Lord Of Caca, the powers of peace and love. The strong powers in which exist in everyone. Whether they choose to use it or not.
Alas, there needed to be a Saint. And one day when the CACA was clear, and the sky rained M&M's, there came a young peasant. His eyes were like those of a Dog Lackey, yet he was not one. His voice was charmingly deep, and flourished in kindness. He wore leathery clothing, and walked apon the dirt. He cherished the morning air. His smile was not a rare site.
This peasant lived among the hills of chartrusity and he came down only to wash his gentle face in the river of plenty.
The Leader approached him one day with the proposition of being the Saint Of The Running Dog Lackeys. The man replied that his name was Richard Starkey, and due to his great luck he had gained the name Ringo, saint of Starrs.
He was the one, and he graciously accepted the offer. He spent many days and nights speaking of peace and love in a manner that the Leader, Lord, and Knight had never heard before. The Lackeys listened intently....
In a few weeks, they had learned much of these things. Ringo, newly crowned Saint of the Running Dog Lackeys (That Eat Underwear), had also taught them a song called All You Need Is Love. The Lackeys, Leader, Lord, and Knight grew to like him very much. But there was yet another conflict. The small group had heard of a plan, that the Geese would return, and with the Fireflies try and take over the Dog Lackeys. None of them were in the mood to fight, and so they were in a terrible dilemma.
It was a cool August night, and they were all sitting in a Strawberry Field, thinking. Suddenly, the Saint and the Lord both leapt to their feet and shouted, "I'VE GOT AN IDEA!"
The idea was composed that the one chant and yell of a word, would drive the geese and fireflies back to their home. But the word was not known. Until the Lord, after intense thought, decided the best word would be "SPOON".
So when the Quantum Geese and Rosetta Fireflies attacked with their filthy sodding ways, the Lord, Leader, Knight, and Saint all leaped from the hills of Chartrusity and yelled, SPOOOOOOOOOON.
And the Geese and Fireflies did roam back to their home, in pure confuzzlement and defeat...
And now, a special event took place in the hills of Chartrusity near Burgerburg. It was the Saint's birthday, one day before the monthly CACAfest over which the Lord ruled. The Leader, Lord, and Knight were very busy with preparations for the Party, helped by the Lackeys. The Lord was wrapping presents, the Knight was baking a cake, and the Leader was keeping the Saint away from this, for it was to be a great surprise.
And a great surprise indeed. The Dog Lackeys all cheered as the Saint approached the village square. He smiled his wonderful smile, and sat down.
The Leader rolled out a huge platform, which apon stood a set of drums for the saint to play. The Saint had always played them, so it was no big task. He thanked the Order very much, and with the Lord's guitar accompaniment there was rich music throughout the land.
After hearing this, the Leader and Knight became interested, and thought to learn to play something, too. The Saint started giving the Leader drum lessons, and the Knight was taught to play guitar by the Lord. The Knight sort of figured out how to play bass, and after awhile of practicing and playing around and teaching the dog lackeys to sing, they had formed a sort of band.
And so on the eve of the CACAfests there was a concert by the Dog Lackeys, Knight, Saint, Lord, and Leader. And all was joyous. The powers of peace and love reigned over all. There were fights, yet they were mild, and usually ended up for the better.
Pretty soon concerts were held every night, and everyone rejoiced. The Quantum Geese were never seen again, tho the Rosetta Fireflies have been said to have become a peaceful union living in the Hills Of Chartrusity.
But then on the eve of the CACAfest in June of the next year, it was a quiet, starry evening. It wasn't hot, it was just warm enough, and there was great celebration. But then the Saint glanced at the Leader, and felt great love and admiration for her, having led the Running Dog Lackeys for most of her life. He walked up to her and said, "Washy?" "Mmhmm?" she replied. The Saint took a deep breath. "Will you marry me?" The Leader was extremely surprised, and extremely happy, for she shrieked "SPOOOOOOOONNN" and threw herself upon the Saint. "I suppose that's a yes..." he thought...
After seeing the wonderful happiness that the Leader and Saint shared, the Lord did slide into the home of the Knight. Apon his hands and knees he did ask for the Knight's hand. It was a cool winter's eve, the snow gently falling. The Knight nodded, and then as her fellow nut and compound had done, she cried, "SPOOOOON", and the Lord lifted her in his arms. They walked out into the snow, spreading the news.
The Order lived on for many a purple suns, and is still going to this very moment, under the laws of peace, love, and happiness. Dog Lackeys are perhaps the most happiest of all. And this was their tail....