Chapter One - The Carpenter, the Walrus, and the Googoog'joob
(subtitled, the Long Chapter)
The world is filled with many things like
Shoes and ships and sealing wax and cabbages and kings
And why the sea is boiling hot
And whether woodchucks
Dance about singing Beatletunes in the Rain
Who'll stop the rain? No one knows
For rambles go ever on and on
Turning, turning, turning
This, 'tis silly song of yonder cabbage
Typing at her computer while thinking of visions of thinking of
Pizza
With lots of onions 'tho she hateth onions
With a violent passion
Although it isn't so violent as it might be
For she hath never tasted onion
She does in fact love CHEESE
Glorious cheese, so scrumptious and
Easily squashed
It is becoming a very long piece of
Whatever it is
Is't ramble, my good sir?
No, it is poetry.
It isn't!
It is silliness in all its glory.

Chapter Two - Psnorg Visits Deimos
I am a psnorg, I sit and think
Do as many others do
Drinking wine, eating cheese,
Catching some rays you know
For she lo hath watched Kelly's Heroes
But a night ago and quotes they
Float about in the empty space she calls her
Brain
Brain is
Gray
But how doth she know it is gray? Could be
Many shades of bright for all she knows
But what is "she"? Why'st not
IT or HE? Silly thing, it is not HE
It is SHE for female she be
Suppose we took it apart?
Said the herring to the mongoose
And so they did, taking the unfortunate
Not to mention innocent young girl
And ripping her leg off yet inside was
Circuitry of many types
She
After all was an
IT
Who knew?

Chapter Three - My Mind is Empty

Chapter Four - More of the Psnorg's Visit to Deimos
The psnorg said to the second mongoose
Appearing in this silliness
"Why must I stay here?
I do not like Deimos, the climate is wrong."
So the mongoose, who was assuming
A poet's disguise said
"Roses are red, Violets are blue Some
poems rhyme, this one doesn't."
The psnorg shoved the mongoose off of Deimos
and it tumbled blindly as it made its way
Across the Universe
Jai Guru Deva-aaaaaaaaaaaa
Ommmmmmmm
Nothin's gonna change
Jennifer Eccles
I know that she loves me
Why Eccles? Why not pickles
Because you silly girl a pickle is something
That you dip in Psycho-Jell-O and feed to
The woodchuck Gus thought he saw

Chapter Five - Of Joysticks and Potatoes
If you grab the cord of a joystick and
Whirl it around 'twill probably
Turn into a potato and begin to sing
In The Ghetto, so you will throw it out
The window
Unfortunately 'twill plant itself, and rain
And sun will give it nergy, so it can
Grow plants need nergy to
Grow y'know so 'twill grow
And then you shall be forced to eat
It, or listen to Elvis songs day and
Night so you feed it to your pet
Mongoose which eats it, and turns
Into Elvis
Which of course is just what the
Potato had in mind
Being an evil potato of sorts.

Chapter Six - Of Green Tambourines
Why are they green? they should
Be invisible 'twould be more interesting
That-a-way
Yet if they were invisible they could not be played
And thus could not be located when needed
Thus many songs wouldn't sound as good as
Penguins eating veggie-burgers
Which some sound like
Many times
Over
Yet these are not classified as songs
Oh no they are works
Of almondesque vitality
Which means, by the way,
That they really stink
Let's don't be so harsh
But instead say something such as
Almondesque vitality
Or other-such noncents

Chapter Seven - The Short Chapter
The dog writes on the window with his nose.

Chapter Eight - Eleanor Rigby
Why does she keep a *face* in a jar by her door?
(Why not a prosthetic forehead
To wear upon her real head?)
Unanswerable questions for she perhaps is
Nothing
But
A mongoose.
What do I see in mongeese, you ask?
Nought except that the word is funny in
Every
Respect
Thus I enjoy it
I have now explained the excessive use
Of the word "mongoose" in this silliness.
So let us not say that she is a mongoose.
My personal opinion is that she is a
Conehead

Chapter Three Thousand and Seventy-Four - More On Dixie Cups
As I said before there are many people
That think of Dixie cups as a way
Of life, as they hold water and
Wa...
It suddenly occurs to me
That this is a
Somewhat Misplaced Chapter.
I apologize for that, I think you'll find
The following a bit more interesting.



Chapter Nine - Imyriferousness
Lo And Behold! a saga of many things
Like tomatoes and potatoes and
I can't think of
Anything
Else that rhymes avec potatoes et
Tomatoes at the moment.
Hmmmmmmm
mmmmmmmm
(SIGNIFIES DEEP THOUGHT)
Dost thou ponder this with me also?
I find no answer.
Perhaps the answer lies with railings.
You can see a lot of the world
From railings
If you leave your head there.
Of course, the fire brigade will
Have to get it out, and there you
Would be, with a railless head
And not being able to see a
Lot of the world.

Chapter Ten - A Day In The Life
Woke up fell out of
A tree, though I know not how
I came to be in a tree.
I stood up and brushed the dirt off
Myself, and then was encountered
By
A
Hedgehog.
I have never seen one...but I am
Pretty sure it was a Hedgehog.
Well, it wanted
A Hamburger.
I, having no Hamburger,
Told it so.
It attacked me, and then
Throwing me into a tree again,
Pulled a hamburger from
Thin Air
And laughed.
The next day I
Woke up fell out of
A tree...

Chapter Eleven - 59th Street Bridge
Does one really exist?
And if so, would one Feel Groovy by
Walking upon it?
Ahhhh such silly questions as such as we
Are bound to ask.
Did Harpers Bizarre build it?
Do Harpers hold Bazaars there?
How odd.
If one doth exist, there must be a
Lamppost with flowers growing.
I wonder if it has rhymes for meeee.
This certainly doesn't rhyme.
I haven't got time
To come up with rhymes.
But I just did.
Hmmmmmmmmm...