“Rootbyria: God of Soda”

by Washy Calavicci

Well, we had to write this paper for Lit/Comp class, and the idea was to create a new god or godess, like from Ancient Greece. I was going to do god of peace, but there already exists "Peace", so I couldn't. Then I was just sitting there drinkin a Dr Pepper, when I thought about Pepperia, then later on a friend suggested the name Rootbyria, so I took that instead and really went for writing it. So have a look... Sogg dug it. She's the one who wanted me to post it. Most people said it was "strange, but groovy".

Here I shall tell you the tale of the "god of soda". This god was not well known at all, but his legend and the legend of his family lives on, whether we know it or not. Long before Dionysus returned to Zeus, he ran off to explore the earth. He had been tired of learning about the animals, and wanted to see the rest of the world. He beheld the beauty of the earth, and wanted to know who had made such a wonderful world, for being just a child, he did not know of Mother Earth. He wandered about the wonderful earth, taking in its beauty with every breath of the morning air, with every sight he beheld, and with every step he took. He enjoyed it all from the wonderful blooming flowers to the miles and miles of fresh green grass, which smelled so pleasant after the morning rain. The animals fancinated him, yet he knew they were the work of Prometheus. Yet who had made this wonderful rich place with such beauty? Who had created the soil in which the flowers bloomed, and the tall trees which seemed to grow all the way up to Olympos? Who had made the sweet smelling roses, and the long grassy fields? He only wondered.
Dionysus looked around at the wonderful place, and called out for anyone to hear him. "Can anyone, anyone at all, tell me who has given such a beautiful place to us all?" He walked onto a large hill, and called out again. "Please, please. Somebody tell me the name of the creator of all this. I only want to know. For I have fallen in love with the beauty of the earth, and I only wonder who would be responsible for it all."
The earth began to rumble and shake, and from a nearby tree came the figure of a woman. Dionysus was amazed by her beauty, for to him it was the most beautiful person he had ever seen.
"Who is this who calls for me?" she said, with a pleasant, yet booming voice.
"I am Dionysus. Are you the creator of all this?" he asked.
"Yes. I am. Except for the animals and mortals, I have created it all," she replied, proudly.
"I can tell, for no one else could create such beauty as this," he replied.
Mother Earth and Dionysus spent days talking to each other. After awhile the two had fallen in love, and had a child named Rootbyria. Considering Dionysus was the king of wine (and if so most likely beer), and Mother Earth was the roots of the earth itself, it was only natural for them to name their child Rootbyria. Because he was part of Mother Earth, his eyes were that of the unclouded sky, and his hair looked like soil. His eyes looked like a young puppy, so innocent yet so curious, yet he was humble, unlike other gods.
By this time, Dionysus had disappeared for over a year to be with Mother Earth, so Rheia had become worried. She searched for him, and when she had found him with Mother Earth and had seen Rootbyria, she became very angry with him. Much to the displeasure of Dionysus, she dragged him back to his home, leaving Rootbyria and Mother Earth to themselves.
Rheia walked to Mount Olympos and spoke to it, hoping Zeus would hear her. "I can no longer take care of this child. He has already ran off for far too long. I think he is ready to go back to you, for I cannot take it much longer," said Rheia. "I have taught him all I can teach, yet he is in need of another's teaching, for I have nothing more to tell him. Yet if you will take him, do not let him know that I was giving him up."
The following day a message came to Dionysus from Zeus, via Hermes, telling him he must return to Zeus. While Dionysus was busy with Zeus, sadly, he soon forgot about his child, and his love for Mother Earth.
Rootbyria was a mischievous young boy. He did not stay with Mother Earth for very long. He loved traveling about, and would not stay put for very long. The one thing he loved more than traveling was food and drink. He loved to make up new foods and various drinks. Mother Earth had told him about his godly father, and he had taken in every word with much interest. He used to watch as Dionysus gave wine to all the people, yet he could never speak to him, for Dionysus looked too proud to be bothered about such things. If this god was his father, then his talent of making drinks must have been inherited from Dionysus. Althroughout his childhood he searched for the perfect drink to make. It could not be like wine, because he wanted a drink that would not make a person crazy, yet be just as sweet in taste.
At the age of 23, Rootbyria came apon a geyser which shot out the largest spray of water he had ever seen. Being part of Mother Earth, he always used natural things to make his drinks, yet this geyser was the most amazing thing he had ever seen. His drinks had been sweet, and wonderful to taste, yet after a short period of time they lost their appeal to the people he gave them to. He sat, watching the geyser for days and days, wondering how it got its bubbling power. If only he could add this to his drinks, they might be much more exciting.
What he did not know was that a young princess from a nearby kingdom had been watching him, as much as he'd been watching the geyser. She tossed a stone at his feet to catch his attention.
Rootbyria did not turn once, yet he asked, "Who is there?"
"The people call me Cynthia, although that is not my name at all. I am a princess from Greece. I have run away from home, for I cannot take the pressure of being a princess," replied the girl.
Rootbyria turned to look. "I am Rootbyria, and I......" His voice trailed off as he caught sight of her beauty.
"You what?" she asked.
"I have no idea," he replied.
She smiled. "Why were you staring at that geyser?"
"I am trying to make the perfect drink, but I cannot figure out how to put the power of this geyser into a mere drink," he replied. "Yet now... I cannot take my eyes off of you."
"Why so? Have you love for me? No man has ever wanted to be near me, in fear of my father. He is an evil man. He will kill you if he sees you with me," she replied.
"I do not care. This drink means nothing to me, than to have you. I will not let him do this to you. You can stay with me."
"What is your name?" Cynthia asked.
"Rootbyria, and I wish to be with you."
"Why, you have the name of a girl," she giggled. Then in a more serious tone, she replied, "Then you must do one thing for me."
"What is this, o fair Cynthia?" asked Rootbyria.
"If you are to have me, then you are to make your drink. For whatever makes you happy, shall in turn make me happy," she replied.
"Oh, but dear Cynthia, this drink means nothing to me, if I have you," he replied.
"You have already said this, but it would make me happy to see you reach this goal, for I will not live long. He may as well kill me," replied Cynthia.
"Then let us be together for as long as we can, and I will not let him hurt you," replied Rootbyria.
The two fell deeply in love and in the following year a child was born to them. The child was a girl by the name of Pepperia. She was very good at treating people for illnesses and at the age of 17 she left her parents and went off to help others. Nearly half a decade after Pepperia's birth, a boy was born to them. Cocacoleus was a proud young boy who thought himself equal to the gods, and later died due to his belief of being the "real thing."
It was after Pepperia's leaving that Rootbyria thought of his drink again. He had been so afraid of Cynthia's father and so in love that he had not thought about it, yet Cynthia urged him to go on. He worked day and night on it, with the aid of Cynthia and Cocacoleus. He could not think about another thing, and felt he owed it to his family to finish this drink.
A year later, they heard of the death of the king, and felt no longer worried. After awhile the actual thought of what the king had said to Cynthia had been totally erased from their minds. The next year went on with much work for Rootbyria, and much pleasure for Cocacoleus and Cynthia to help test them.
Late one night as Cynthia and Cocacoleus slept, as Rootbyria worked on his drink, and as the geyser sprayed hotter than ever, a band of men approached the area, silently. Rootbyria was so busy that he did not notice as the men awoke Cynthia and Cocacoleus.
"You there!" cried a rather old man.
Rootbyria looked up to see this man. He held Rootbyria's dear wife with such anger. "Let my wife be!" he cried.
"She is not your wife. She is my child," replied the man.
"She cannot be your child. The king is dead," replied Rootbyria.
"It was all a mere hoax, my death. I am not dead. I only announced it so that I could catch you off guard," replied the king, chuckling evilly.
"Let me go!" cried Cocacoleus. "You cannot treat a god this way!"
"Are you a god?" asked the king.
"Yes, I am, and so is my father," replied Cocacoleus.
The king laughed at the boy's claims.
"I shall prove it," replied Cocacoleus. Without letting anyone speak another word, he ran for the geyser. "If I am a god then this shall not hurt me!" cried Cocacoleus.
"No, my son! You are half mortal, you cannot do this!" cried Rootbyria, leaping at Cocacoleus, yet it was too late. Cocacoleus had already lunged into the geyser, dying almost immediately.
The king laughed and ordered his men to kill Rootbyria, yet instead Rootbyria lunged for the king. He grabbed him and threw the frail man against a tree until he no longer lived. This was a mistake for the kings men went after Cynthia, throwing her into the geyser, and then coming after Rootbyria.
Rootbyria was already in such pain. He had never killed a man, or experienced death, yet it was at that short moment he wished to know the answer to his drink. He cried out for it, yet the answer did not come. He tossed all of his drink into the geyser. It was no longer worth it. He had lost his family, whether it be by death or by abandonment, he had nobody, so with that he leaped into the geyser, yet his immortality kept him from dying. He grabbed the two men who had killed his wife, and threw them into the geyser, where they put up a fight, yet did not live. He called for his mother. "Mother, Mother Earth, will you please tell me what to do? I cannot go it alone. I feel as though I have lost it all. I have given up my soul when I have given up my children. I have given up my heart when I gave up my wife. I have given up my morals when I killed those three men. I have nothing more to give but my immortality, which is meaningless to me without the other three."
Mother Earth came to him. "My child. You must find what has kept you from completing it. I cannot tell you, but I do say you must give up your problems for they hold you back."
"Mother, I have had a good life. I have no problems at all. I have only lost far too much today," replied Rootbyria.
"Listen, this is your problem. You lost so much that you want to give up yourself. You must remember to celebrate life and not dwell on death." She then disapeared.
Rootbyria from that moment on celebrated what he loved about those he lost, and within days after he began to do this, he completed his drink with the help of Cynthia's sister, Sodia who had been released from the castle after the king was killed. He generically called his drink Sodia, for without her support he may have not completed it. He had many flavors of his drink, some of which he called Pepperia, after his daughter, Rootbyria after himself, and Cocacoleus after his son. Later on these names were shortened to Dr. Pepper, Root Beer and Coca Cola.
Rootbyria sits watching the world, making sure it never runs out of sodia, or now soda, and helping others create new flavors from everyday until the world finds a better drink. By the looks of it, Rootbyria doubts this will happen for a long, long time. Although he is thousands of years old, he still looks like he did on that day when he first took in Cynthia's beauty, and continually thinks about her, and the wonderful life they had together.

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