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Coherence

Coherence means "sticking together," and means the degree to which words make sense together. This can be applied to the sentence, the paragraph, and the essay as a whole. There are various techniques for improving coherence:

Parallel structure

Which parts of the following sentences are not parallel? Change them into parallel structures.

  1. Several committee members were at the secret meeting but not agreeing to change their votes (W,162).
  2. I believe that the United Nations has been fairly effective but we can improve it (W,162).
  3. To listen to classical music and reading great novels are pastimes too few students enjoy (W,162).
  4. Mullins of the White Sox had a near-perfect day on the mound, striking out twelve batters and he allowed only two hits (W,162).
  5. I will always remember the town because of the good times and the friends I made there (H,43).
  6. My hobbies are to listen to music and playing the piano.
  7. It's not enough to compare two positions and condemning one.
  8. It's better to wait and having some money left over.
  9. When a person has a goal to hope and work toward, he will be happy.
  10. Neither his interest nor concern for his employee's welfare brought him respect.
  11. He had no love or confidence in his employer (H,43).
  12. His slumping business, his friends, and even his wife Mary could in no way offer him a chance to find the happiness he had known while in college (H,109).
  13. During her last year in law school, she rose to the top of her class, worked on the legal review, and married the day after graduation (H,109).
  14. If a person is ignorant of the law, they can still be prosecuted for breaking it (W,170).
  15. A musician is probably the most envied of professionals because they enjoy their work so much (W,170).
  16. Anyone who thinks they are being cheated should complain to the manager (W,170).
  17. A football player deserves pay, for they work hard (W,170).
  18. People may be a celebrity when they make films (W,170).
  19. Football players can show they are a good sport when they lose with grace (W,170).
  20. All the members raised their hand (W,170).
  21. A person should not depend on a crutch if he doesn't need one, for if you do you will soon find yourself unable to be independent (W,171).
  22. When someone finds a piece of money, he usually keeps it; but sometimes you are honest enough to look for its owner (W,171).
  23. A student should know the provisions of the Civil Rights Act, for one cannot be a good citizen unless you keep up with current legislation (B,450)
  24. When I study hard for a test, it is usually passed with a high grade (W,172).
  25. We refused to admit defeat, and the game was won by us in the last few seconds (W,172).
  26. The Governor called in his lieutenants, and they were lectured by him on the necessity of getting House Bill 5943 passed quickly (W,172).
  27. When the townspeople heard that the mayor had resigned, a general meeting was called (B,449).
  28. Benjamin Franklin felt that learning was as good as earning. Spend some time everyday with books. Try to progress as times progress.
  29. Those who argue that social and moral reform is impossible on the ground that the Old Adam of human nature remains forever the same attribute to native activities the permanence and inertia that in truth belong only to acquired customs. To Aristotle slavery was rooted in aboriginal human nature. Native distinctions of quality exist such that some persons are by nature gifted with power to plan, command, and supervise, and others possess merely capacity to obey and execute. Hence slavery is natural and inevitable. There is error in supposing that, because domestic and chattel slavery has been legally abolished, slavery as conceived by Aristotle has disappeared. But matters have a least progressed to a point where it is clear that slavery is a social state, not a psychological necessity. --John Dewey, Human Nature and Conduct (W,175).

Keeping chronological and spatial order

Explain why b) is more coherent than a):

a) A year spent teaching in the "shacks" adjacent to the city schools provides a unique education to any teacher. The classroom temperature gets awfully cold sometimes. You cannot imagine how hard it is to teach when it is forty-six degrees inside the building. Field mice race over the student lockers just as the teacher begins an important assignment. As summer approaches with its rising temperatures and increased noise level, the teacher has decided that she would gladly trade her unique experience for anyone's traditional classroom. The water fountain is so far away that it occupies a good part of class time for teacher and students to get a drink (Ma,57).

b) A year spent teaching in the "shacks" adjacent to the city schools provides a unique education to any teacher. She learns to adjust to a temperature of forty-six degrees inside her classroom, a condition that persists although all the radiators are working at full capacity. She learns to cope with the problem of field mice racing over the student lockers just as she begins an important assignment. As summer approaches with its rising temperatures and increased noise level, the teacher has decided she would gladly trade her unique experience for anyone's traditional classroom. She learns to control her thirst and teaches this lesson to her students, since the water fountain is so far away it is almost impossible to get a drink.

Explain why c) is even more coherent:

c) A year spent teaching in the "shacks" adjacent to the city schools provides a unique education to any teacher. In the fall, the teacher learns to cope with the problem of field mice racing over the student lockers just as she begins an important assignment. In the winter, she learns to adjust to a temperature of forty-six degrees, a condition that persists inside the classroom although all the radiators are working at full capacity. In the spring, she learns self-control of thirst and teaches this lesson to her students, since a trip to the water fountain occupies a good part of the class time. In summer, with its rising temperatures and increased noise level, she has decided that she would gladly trade the unique setting for anyone's traditional classroom.

Compare the following for coherence:

  1. The main characteristic of the little farm we had walked over was disorder. The winding, narrow road was bumpy and rough, and weeds grew rank and tall on each side of it. Near the barn stood a battered, unpainted tractor, plow, and rake. On the other side of the road, weeds sapping life-giving substances from the soil were also growing among the small, withered cotton plants. The house needed paint and repairs. The steps and porch were rickety, and several of their boards were broken. The fence around the pasture was badly in need of repairs. The broken window panes in the house had pieces of tin and boards over them. On one side of the road lay bundles of grain decaying from long exposure to wind, rain, and sunshine. The wire was broken in many places, and the wooden posts, rotten at the ground, were supported by the rusty wire. The yard was littered with rubbish--tin cans, broken bottles, and paper. The barn lacked paint; its roof sagged and some shingles needed to be replaced. In the pasture, diseased with weeds and underbrush, grazed then, bony cattle, revealing their need for more and better food and shelter (Ma,60).
  2. The main characteristic of the little farm we had walked over was disorder. The winding, narrow road was bumpy and rough, and weeds grew rank and tall on each side of it. On one side of the road lay bundles of grain decaying from long exposure to wind, rain, and sunshine. On the other side, among the small, withered cotton plants, weeds sapped the soil. The fence around the pasture was badly in need of repair. The wire was broken in many places, and the wooden posts, rotten at the ground, were supported by the rusty wire. In the pasture, diseased with weeds and underbrush, grazed thin, bony cattle revealing their need for more and better food and shelter. Near the barn stood a battered, unpainted tractor, plow, and rake. The barn itself lacked paint; its roof sagged and some of the shingles needed to be replaced. The house, too, needed paint and repairs. The steps and porch were rickety, and several of their boards were broken. A screen hung on one hinge. The broken window panes were mended with tin and boards. The yard was littered with rubbish--tin cans, broken bottles, and paper.

Using pronouns and the active voice

How can the coherence of the following be improved:

  1. Politics is a suitable profession only for men with agile minds. Since problems shift suddenly and rapidly, one must be able to alter his mode of thinking quickly to meet new and unforeseen situations.
  2. The president of the school board rejected the lay committee's recommendation. Shortsightedness and prejudice were evident (W,101).
  3. The novel Elmer Gantry by Sinclair Lewis is one of the most controversial pieces of fiction ever published in America. Hypocrisy and humbug in the American clergy are the subject of a satiric attack. Religion was not actually attacked, but only those who misused religion. Proof has been cited that some clergymen are corrupt and that there is respect for those who are not. Many religious groups believed religion was attacked. Lewis was mercilessly attacked (W,102).

Using transition words

Addition: and, also, too, as well, in addition, besides, furthermore, moreover, likewise, another, beyond this, at the same time

Intensification: very, quite, extremely, indeed, certainly, to be sure

Illustration: for example, for instance, as an example, to illustrate, take, consider, let us consider (look at, examine)

Specification: namely, specifically, first, second, third; a, b, c; 1, 2, 3; in the first place, second(ly), third(l)y

Alternative: or, nor, either...or, neither...nor

Comparison: as...as, likewise, and, similarly, in like manner, in the same way, just as, also

Contrast: but, yet, although, though, even though, yet, however, on the other hand, while, conversely, nevertheless, whereas, on the contrary, conversely

Condition: if, unless, until, whether, as long as, provided that, should, so long as

Concession: although, even though granted that, despite, in spite of, anyhow

Cause and result: because, since, as, hence, thus, accordingly, then, therefore, as a result, consequently

Purpose: in order to, so...that, with the intention of, intending (meaning) to, with a view to

Reference back: as we have seen, on the whole, as mentioned above, as stated previously, as I have said, to repeat, again

Reference ahead: next, now, at this point (juncture)

Conclusion: finally, now, consequently, to sum up, in sum, in summary, summing up, in conclusion, then

Improve the transitions in the following:

  1. Automation can provide worldwide abundance for all people. If I were directing industrial expansion, I would reduce the rate of changeover to automated production, for unemployment is just as much a problem as a scarcity of goods (W,97).
  2. I believe it is quite a privilege to be a part of the highest form of animal life. If I had to be any other animal I would be a dog (W,98).
  3. Many educators suggest that we should turn to history and philosophy in order to solve the problems of our time. Historians are in disagreement even about what happened in the past. They are hopelessly confused about why historical trends occur. Philosophers have been and still are in muddled confusion. None of them agrees with any others. Educators can't agree in their choice of philosophers whom we should listen to. In the midst of such confusion, does it not seem wise to work with new ideas (W,99)?
  4. One of the most important qualities for a politician to possess is imagination. It seems that most politicians are singularly unimaginative. Some have such one-track minds that they never vary from a set line of thought and procedure. Our current mayor still spends hours a week on arithmetical check-up on employees even though the city now owns a computer. He seems to fail to see that the city's political problems change. He is likely soon to be out of a job unless he applies more imagination to his work (W,103).
  5. Most people have three misconceptions about the nature of the rules of grammar. They feel that an arbitrary rule makes an expression correct or incorrect, whereas, it is custom only that makes correctness. They think that only whole words are involved in grammatical constructions, whereas parts of words--or morphemes--play an important grammatical role. The verb parts ing, en, ed, s, and so forth are important grammatical entities. They seem to assume that all languages have similar grammatical systems, which is of course far from the truth. Estonian has twelve cases, whereas Latin has only five. There are innumerable differences between grammatical systems. We see that the general public is much misinformed about grammar (W,103).
  6. My professor of Comparative Religion maintains that religious truths are relative. It seems to me that many points of religious belief must be absolute. How can polytheism and monotheism both be true? Consider the idea of afterlife. How can it both exist and not exist? It seems to me that the idea of relativism can be overvalued (W,103).