Back to "The Essay as a Whole"

Sentence Outlines

Discuss the following sentence outlines. The main point, or thesis (if it is an essay) or topic sentence (if it is a paragraph), should be justified by the supporting points (SP). A good outline should be easily understandable. If it is, and you follow it, your paragraph or essay is likely be just as understandable.

1. Thesis: Animal experiments should be abolished.

SP 1: Animal experiments are simply cruel.

SP 2: The results of tests on animals say nothing about the effects the tested substances could have on human beings.

SP 3: There are far better alternatives that are satisfactory to both animals and human beings.

2. Thesis: Reading books is more beneficial than watching TV.

SP 1: Reading books stimulates one's imagination.

SP 2: Watching TV is just consumption of something made by others.

SP 3: Things one has read are better kept in mind than things one has only seen on TV.

SP 4: Books allow better identification because there's no person (actor/actress) to associate with.

My comments on these:

1. Thesis and SPs ok.

2. The focal word in the thesis is "beneficial." SP 1 is ok, but I wonder if everyone takes it for granted that stimulating one's imagination is beneficial? It is certainly not clear why consuming something made by others (SP 2) is less beneficial than consuming something made by oneself--and the latter is not the case in reading anyway. (Or, if SP 2 simply means watching TV is more passive than reading, how is it different from SP 1?) SP 3 is clear. SP 4 is not clear.

Evaluate the following in terms of unity, coherence, and potential interest:

3. Thesis: Equality of opportunity in America is a myth.

SP 1: Racial discrimination still exists.SP 2: Adequate health care is available only to those who can afford it.

SP 3: The best education is available only to the rich and the exceptionally talented.

SP 4: The tax system has loopholes that can be exploited only by people rich enough to afford tax lawyers.

4. Thesis: A good children's story has certain characteristics.

SP 1: The plot is exciting.

SP 2: The vocabulary and sentence structure is simple.

SP 3: Children can identify with the characters.

5. Thesis: Parents should be fined for the crimes of their minor children.

SP 1: The parents are to blame anyway.

SP 2: The threat of fining will encourage parents to raise their children properly.

SP 3: The money raised this way will help the government fight adult crime.

6. Thesis: Divorce can be avoided.

SP 1: Couples should communicate more.

SP 2: They should be willing to compromise.

SP 3: They should seek professional help when necessary.

7. Thesis: It is sometimes necessary to lie.

SP 1: Sometimes you have to lie to spare others pain.

SP 2: Sometimes you have to lie to avoid a quarrel.

SP 3: Sometimes you have to lie to achieve something good.

8. Thesis: American universities put too much emphasis on sports.

SP 1: Overemphasis on sports gives athletes a distorted image of themselves.

SP 2: It gives other students distorted values.

SP 3: In the long run, it costs the universities more money than it brings in.

9. Thesis: Specific measures should be taken to conserve water.

SP 1: Reconversion plants should be attached to all sewage disposal plants.

SP 2: Home use of water should be more closely regulated.

SP 3: Water from natural streams should be better controlled and stored.

SP 4: Water tables should be protected through importation of water to dry areas.

10. Thesis: Grades at university should be abolished.

SP 1: Competing for grades causes unhealthy stress.

SP 2: It stifles creativity.

SP 3: Grades are not as important for future employment as they have been made out to be.

11. Thesis: Military service is educational.

SP 1: You learn discipline.

SP 2: You learn to get along with a wide variety of people.

SP 3: You get practical instruction and experience in handling technical equipment.

12. Thesis: Capital punishment should be abolished.

SP 1: It is unconstitutional.

SP 2: It violates religious precepts.

SP 3: It is illogical, contradicting the very principle it is intended to uphold (that killing is wrong).

SP 4: It is racially discriminatory.

SP 5: It does not deter crime.

13. Thesis: Women are more civilized than men.

SP 1: There are many more men in jail than women.

SP 2: Wars are declared and fought overwhelmingly by men.

SP 3: Women are underrepresented in cultural history only because of male prejudice.

SP 4: Women are superior to men in social interaction, which is the essence of civilization.

14. Thesis: Television is harmful.

SP 1: TV violence corrupts children.

SP 2: It discourages conversation and communication.

SP 3: It discourages more rewarding forms of recreation.

SP 4: It makes us more alike, and thus the world less interesting.

15. Thesis: Television is beneficial.

SP 1: You don't have to watch it, so if it harms you, it's your own fault.

SP 2: TV enriches your experience in ways no other medium can.

SP 3: It is a unifying force in a divisive world.

SP 4: It provides an important outlet for artistic and political expression.

16. Thesis: The anti-smoking campaign is exaggerated.

SP 1: Filters have greatly reduced the health risks of smoking.

SP 2: Alcohol can also damage health, and there is no strong anti-alcohol campaign.

SP 3: Damage to the tobacco industry threatens jobs.

SP 4: Taxes on tobacco products are a source of revenue for the government.