I could tell him by his walk. We could tell all of the students by their walks. We had to. His hooded figure moved silently down the wide hall, the only light coming from the distant windows three stories up. The hall, a myriad of darkness and muted light, reflected his downcast head and averted face. The silence was deafening as throngs of students, black hooded figures, moved throughout the school.
I had an urge to talk to him. Something said that would be wrong, but I still felt it. I watched him go into his next class and saw the pneumatic door swish silently closed. He made me late, but my classroom door will not close until I get there. I know if I just lift my head and actually look at my teacher, actually show my face, even for just a brief moment, his look of gratefulness will eliminate any late penalty. The real teachers are all oldsters, used to other times. He was looking at me as I walked in. I lifted my head briefly, looking at him for the first time ever, him seeing my black eye makeup, my black lips, my pale white cheeks and face. He looked at me and smiled, I don’t know why, but he did. I lowered my eyes first, causing the black make-up covering my eyelids to create an image of black sockets where my eyes should be. A second later, I lowered my head, the dark hood covering it completely. Softly, I said, “sorry,” and knew the moment was over.
My desk was in the middle of the room, but we were seated every other row. We liked an empty row of desks between us. Every class was the same. Empty desks were always between us. He had five minutes. Only five minutes with a real teacher until the hologram took over. We put our earphones in our ears and waited. Once, I actually listened to him for his five minutes. He talked about love and community and other concepts that were now alien or not talked about. I wasn’t sure what to think, so I didn’t listen again. Instead, I listened to the pyro-rock in my earphones. While listening, I thought about the boy in the hall again and the way he walked and what he might look like.
The real teacher left and the hologram came on. A teacher would teach hundreds or thousands of students at once. Due to the electronics, the hologram of the teacher could see us and react to us as a real teacher. He was paid by each district and so teachers made a lot of money and competition for the jobs was intense. We got the best, but we didn’t care.
I watched the hologram on the screen in the middle of my desk. Nobody ever looked up at the actual hologram in the front of the room. If a student had to talk, it was no more than a low mumbled response into the small speaker by the screen. It was a math lesson. Math, science, engineering, physics and computer science were the only subjects taught. Once, before I could get my music on one morning, I heard my real teacher say something about fiction literature in something called an English class. I don’t know, I guess it just wasn’t important enough to keep around. My thoughts once again turned to the boy in the hall and I began to think about…no that’s not possible.
The class ended and I was back in the hall. I knew it was not right, but I began to walk toward his class. I saw him walking toward the cafeteria and began to follow at a distance. If he stopped or turned his head slightly back, I stopped and turned toward the wall. He couldn’t tell who I was unless I was moving.
He turned a corner and as I came around it there he was, standing in the hall facing me. The other students, heads hooded and down, moved silently around him. I stopped in front of him, confused, afraid, but also somehow excited. Nothing like this had ever happened to me. I knew it would someday, and now here it was. He stepped up next to me, close, so close that our covered heads actually were touching, but still both downturned. I felt his hand begin to softly rub my side up and down, slowly. I wasn’t sure what to do. I was frozen. Suddenly, he turned and walked away down the half darkened hall. The other students had seen what happened, but pretended they hadn’t seen it. They continued to silently walk around me.
I didn’t know what to do. I started walking aimlessly, silently among others, going nowhere. Feeling a strange sense of something. I didn’t know what it was. I started thinking as I walked. Was he a suicide club member? Would I end up killing myself? So many had. Was he an occultist? Is it real what they say? Some say it is. Was he just like me, just a teenager today? What do I do now?
He can’t be in the suicide clubs, can he? They can make you do it. Do it all by yourself or in a group. They like the group the most, but that takes work. No, he isn’t that, I’m sure, or at least I think he isn’t.
Maybe an occultist. Maybe, strange things are going to happen. Maybe, maybe...
I knew I had to go to my next class. Nobody was allowed in the halls between classes. Robot hall monitors roamed the empty halls on silent wheels. They could shoot small darts, tranquilizing students who they then scooped up and took to the nurse. You didn’t want to go to the nurse. Rumor had it that in the old days nurses actually helped people who were physically in trouble. We were vaccinated against everything, so we never got sick. Today, you didn’t want to go to the nurse.
As I walked to my class, now going in a definite direction, I thought about him and our encounter. I wear a hood and a full body robe to my ankles. Some students wear only the head cloak which covers half the upper body and tee shirts and pants. but, most people wear the whole body robe. Everyone is dressed in black. My robe is a velveteen material and I never wear anything under it, as do most everyone. The velveteen rubs against my body giving me a strange physical sensation throughout the day. Sometimes in class, I even let my hands quietly rub parts of my body through the robe. It feels good and I like it, but I don't let others see me doing it. Sometimes, I see others doing it in class. I like to watch this girl in a seat across from me.. She does it a lot, especially near or on her breasts and sometimes between her legs. The hologram never seems to notice. When I see her it feels as if in some strange way it is happening to me, my body tingles and I feel weird.
When he rubbed his hand on my side from my thigh to my lower breast and the side of his head touched mine through our velveteen cloaks, it was something I’d never felt, even with my own hand. Something exciting and at the same time, something very strange and hard to understand.
It was a couple of days later in the cafeteria when it happened. I knew where he sat, but I could never move next to him. Our seats weren’t assigned, but we assigned them ourselves. First day was seating day in the cafeteria and it continued without change. We never talked in the cafeteria, so it worked. It happened in one of the food lines. I had slowly gotten into his food line and through arriving earlier each day, I had actually worked my way up to be near him. This day, he was directly in front of me. I didn’t know what to do. Suddenly, he turned slightly and looked a bit toward me. I could, for the briefest moment, see a quick glimpse of his face and he of mine as I had lifted my head slightly to look at him. He was all of what I thought, a beautiful face with blond hair. Maybe not, it was such a short moment, very quick. But, that’s what I thought he looked like. I wonder what he thought I looked like?
I began to think about him a lot. I wanted to talk to him, to look at his face, to have him touch me somehow. These feelings were new and hard to figure out. I didn’t know what to do or what to think. It was all so strange. There was no one to talk to about it. We never talked to each other at my age. I’ve heard that people used to have what were called “friends.” Who knew what that was? Anyway, it was a long time ago.
I made my way up to my sleeping cubicle, took my pill, and went to bed. I’d taken the romance dream pill. My dreams were vibrantly soft with misty people floating in and out, sometimes touching me, sometimes not. I sometimes touched them and they felt warm and soft. The lighting was brighter than at school, but not too bright. There were more colors too. It felt good. Tomorrow, I’ll take the fun dream pill. You couldn’t take the same pill every night as the dispenser would only allow for a different choice than last night’s pill.
We were moved to the cubicles when we were six years old. That was as long as parents could stand to be together as parents. When you got older, you went to a special school and became parents for the six years. No one really knew what happened after that.
For the next few days I tried to concentrate on school. It was mostly mindless stuff, but one morning I lifted my head enough so I could actually see my real teacher. As I watched the teacher, I began to think of the boy in the hall, of his face, of his touch. I saw the teacher looking at the girl beside me. She was touching herself through her black robe, head down, not seeing him watching her. I turned down the pyro-rock so I could hear him speaking. He was talking about people liking people and people getting together with each other. No one else in the class knew he was talking while staring at the girl next to me as she gently rubbed her body. Everyone else’s head was tilted down toward their desks, hoods making it impossible to see anything. They were all listening to their music. I began to feel strange watching him as he stared and talked. He began to say something about exciting people or making them feel passion, whatever that was. The girl continued to slowly rub her body, sometimes over her breasts, sometimes along her sides, sometimes between her legs. Suddenly, he looked over at me and saw enough of my face to know that I had been watching him. I looked down immediately, but it was too late. He then did something unexpected. Silently, he walked over to my desk. I felt him standing next to me. I turned on my music and couldn’t hear what he was saying. I felt his hand rub my shoulder lightly. I didn’t know what to do. His hand slowly moved around until he was lightly rubbing the back of my neck through my thin robe. I was scared, but at the same time, what he was doing felt good. I didn’t want him to stop, but the chimes sounded signaling that he was to leave and the hologram teacher would be appearing. I didn’t lift my head, but I actually wanted to. Maybe if it happens again I will.
For the rest of the period I thought about both my real teacher and the boy in the hall. I wanted to make more contact with him. I didn’t know how though. I saw him in the hall ahead of me going to lunch. I hurried and got into the line just in front of him. As the line moved forward, I leaned slightly toward him, somehow hoping he would make contact with me. My hand was on my tray next to his. Suddenly, he covered my hand with his and for just a brief moment he left it there. We both slightly lifted our heads toward each other. When I saw his face I wanted to touch my lips to his. I don’t know why I felt like doing that, but I did. I didn’t know what it would feel like, but it seemed that it would feel good. This moment only lasted for a few seconds, then he removed his hand, lowered his head and we moved along through the line. I don’t think anyone else saw what had happened.
That night, I didn’t take a dream pill, just the normal sleeping pill. I was confused by all that was happening and wanted to dream on my own. The sleeping pills allowed for your own dreams, but most people didn't like to leave their dreams to chance. Anything could happen and we didn’t live in that kind of world.
The dream I had was the strangest dream I have ever had. It had to do with my real teacher. The dream was streaked with backgrounds of orange, yellow and soft crimson. He came toward me and began to touch me and then to softly caress me. I don’t think I was wearing any clothes. He was gentle in his touches. I began to touch him, but I don’t know what he felt like. Slowly, we each became more aggressive. From his caresses, I learned caresses, learned to give and take, slowly, softly. The dream was all physical, no real emotions were felt. When I awoke, my body was in a state of soft repose, something I had never felt before.
A week went by and I didn't look at or listen to my real teacher. The hologram teachers continued to teach and the days went by normally. But, I did continue to think of the boy in the hall. These thoughts evoked strange new feelings in me. It was at the end of the week one day that I noticed him being in the places I went to at school. He was by my classroom doors, in the halls I walked, by the places I had to go, but never near enough for us to touch. I started feeling stronger feelings about him. I wanted to talk to him for some strange reason. We never talked to anyone except to the hologram teachers on our speakers in the desks. But, I wanted to talk to him.
When I thought of him during class, I for some reason began to want to rub myself through my robe. I don't know why these things paralleled each other, but I began to slowly do it. Just a little at first and then a bit more. Usually, I did it while the hologram teacher was on as they never focused on us. Once, I did it while my real teacher was in the room in the morning. At one point, I looked up slightly to see if anyone else could see me. The girl next to me who I used to watch was looking at me. I could actually see her face. She was pretty, but the black make-up and white painted face made her look stunning. She did not smile, but continued to stare at me. I lowered my face and stopped rubbing myself. The next thing I knew, she was standing next to me. I didn't look up. I felt her hands lightly circle my neck. Was she an occultist? I didn't know, but for some reason I wasn't afraid. I felt a calmness in my body. My real teacher saw us and started to move toward us as her hands tightened around my throat. I looked up as he came closer and I silently nodded “no” as much as I could. He stopped, and I then saw in his eyes something I’d never known from another. I saw a caring, a concern for me. I realized what his touching me meant. Or I think I did. We'll see, I guess.
As she began to tighten her hands around my neck, my body remained surprisingly calm. I had always been ready to feel what it feels like to die. Maybe, this is it. But, she then stopped squeezing my neck and began to gently push her hands under the front of my robe. She reached my breasts and rubbed them softly. They were small, but now suddenly sensitive. It felt new and strange and good. She continued and strange new feelings began to run through me. I looked slightly up and saw my real teacher watching us. She also knew he was looking at us. Her hands left my breasts as she began to reach lower down to my stomach. Then, she suddenly stopped and removed her arms from under my robe. She sat back down in her seat. I kept my head down.
It was the next day when I saw him in the hall as I came out of one of my classes. He saw me and began to walk away. He didn't actually beckon to me to follow, but his posture somehow conveyed that. We had strange forms of communication, we had to. I began to follow him. He moved rather quickly, but I kept up, following about ten feet behind him. We moved into halls I was not familiar with. He suddenly turned to a nitch in the wall that was barely visible and opened a door. This was not a classroom, as those doors were always opened during passing time. It was actually the first time I had seen a door that was not a classroom in the school. He stepped through the door and held it slightly open. Without thinking, I pushed the door fully open and walked through it into another hallway.
This hallway was long and narrow and there wasn't anyone in it. He began to walk ahead of me and I followed. At the end of the hallway he turned a corner. As I came around it, I saw three sets of metal stairways going up in different directions. He was on the left one about ten steps up. I followed. We climbed many stairs until we were quite high up. You could look down through the stairs and it seemed as if we were a few floors up. At the top was a small platform with another door. He turned to me on the platform and lifting his head began to speak in a low murmured tone.
"What is your name?"
"Princess," I replied. Hearing my voice was strange, but hearing his was even stranger. I was one of many named Princesses. There were only a half dozen girl's names such as Aqua, Moonbeam, Velvet, Midnight and so on and Princesss was one of them
"Do you want to go on Princess?" his voice was still low and soft.
"Yes, I think so."
"Okay," he said as he opened the door.
The room was darker than the hall and as I followed him in I saw that there were others in the room. They were muted figures and the light seemed to be darker in the inner areas of the room. He stepped next to me and I felt his hand take mine. I’d never held another person’s hand in mine. It felt different, strange, but somehow good. I liked it and walked with him across the room holding hands under our robes. I kept my head down as usual, but lifted it enough to slightly glance at some of the others in the room. People were milling about, but others were sitting on benches or at tables. It was surrealistic with the darkness, the muted figures, a hazy atmosphere at best. But, he held my hand and gently guided me ahead.
We reached what looked like a corner of the room with a bench against the wall. As we sat down, I realized that this was not a corner, but some strange angle. The perspective was somehow slanted making it almost impossible to really tell where the boarders of the room were.
“What is this place,” I asked.
“It’s a secret place. It’s called a parallex room.”
“Wow, I didn’t know they really existed. I thought it was just some theory in science.”
“No Princess, it really exists and you’re sitting in it. One of us advanced the theory just a bit and it became possible. They were so close, but couldn’t figure out the last algorithm. We did and here it is.”
“I can’t believe it, so we’re in some kind of time-space continuum thing. Nobody can get here unless you know how. Matter of fact, it doesn’t really exist in real time. The school will never know it is here, right.”
“You’re right Princess.”
“What do you do here, who are these people?”
“We do lots of things and these are special students.”
I wasn’t sure what to think. So much had just happened. He was still holding my hand and that helped to calm me. I looked around, but couldn’t make out the others clearly. Too much dark mist. Then I saw a couple near us on the bench. Their heads were lifted and even though they still had their hoods on, I could see that they were pushing their lips together. It looked strange, but not that bad somehow.
“What are they doing?” I whispered.
Instead of answering me, he reached over and putting his hand under my chin, he slowly raised my head. I felt him lean over and push his lips to mine. It was soft and felt good. His lips moved lightly over mine and I began to move my lips over his. I wanted to do something more, but I didn’t know what. Then I remembered the dream I had with my real teacher. I remembered the caresses. I moved my hands and began to rub his back lightly. He responded by doing the same to me. It felt good and I liked doing it with him. In the dream I didn’t really actually feel my teacher, I just gave caresses, I just followed what he did and learned from him. But, with him here it was different. Here I felt him and his body was real to my touch. I began to want him to touch my beasts like the girl in class had done. He didn’t though. He moved his lips away from mine and stopped rubbing my back.
“We should go, it’s your first time here and it only works for a little while. Each time you come here it works longer, but this time for you is almost over. We will go back another way, just follow me.”
We stood up and he took my hand again. We moved across the room to a wall, pushed through it and were suddenly in a small room. He opened the door in the room and we were in the crowded hall. Students moved silently around us.
“Just follow the green arrows on the floor,” he whispered and walked away in the opposite direction of the arrows. I didn’t want him to leave, but somehow I knew he had to. I followed the arrows and soon was in an area of the school I was familiar with. There were yellow arrows on the floor here. I was used to the yellow, red, and blue arrows, but none of the others. I went to my class and saw the door still open. So, it really worked. When you were in the parallex room the real world time did not exist. It was as if I was never away. It only lasted awhile, the theory said, but each time it got longer. What a way to trick the school.
I took my seat and my real teacher began to speak. I turned up my music and glanced ever so slightly at the girl next to me. She began to do something very strange. She leaned down and taking the hem of her gown, began to slowly lift it up. I watched as first her ankle, then her lower leg and then slowly, her thigh began to appear. Her skin was milk white and looked soft. I looked at the shape of her leg as she continued to raise the gown. I didn’t know what to do, but I didn’t want to look away. Somehow, it fascinated me in a strange way. I saw her pull it up to her waist and I could see between her legs. She had a light covering of hair just as I did. She spread her legs slightly and slowly began to rub the area between her legs. She only did this for a few seconds and then took the hem of her gown and lowered it back to her ankle. No one else in the class had noticed it. I had never rubbed that area of my body, but now I wanted to. I glanced up slightly and saw my real teacher looking at us. I lowered my music and heard him.
“Do what you have to do, but be careful of what influences you. Let me know if you need someone.”
Was he speaking to me or just talking about something? I didn’t know, but he looked at me like he was. My head was only slightly tilted so I could see him, but I don’t think he could see my face. It was strange, no one had ever looked at me like that, even my parents who I really don’t remember very well. Okay, I thought, let’s wait and see what happens.
I looked back at the girl and I wanted to see her face again. I wanted to see that white beauty with the black makeup I had seen once. I don’t know why, but I actually wanted to touch her face, to feel its beauty in my hands somehow. I didn’t know what to think. I wanted to touch myself where she had touched herself. Then I started feeling that I wanted my real teacher to watch me do it. I don’t know, I had never had feelings like this. The chimes sounded and my teacher left, but as he did, he glanced back at me and at her before leaving the room. The hologram teacher came on and I concentrated on the lesson, trying to let my confused mind ease up a bit. At the end of the lesson I followed her out of the classroom into the hall.
I then saw him in the hall, he was walking by my classroom as I came out. He moved next to me as we walked down the hall. The girl from my class moved next to me on the other side. Both of them began to lean into me lightly as we walked along. I could feel his shoulder, arm and thigh pushing lightly on one side and her shoulder, arm and thigh on the other. It was just touching on each side, but they were each lightly touching me with their bodies as we walked along. Suddenly, they both moved away from me. It happened almost simultaneously. I continued to walk slowly as they both walked away from me. I didn’t know what to think, but somehow I felt good.
I didn’t take a dream pill that night. I thought of my real teacher and wondered if I would dream of him again. I somehow wanted to go back to us in my dream. I wanted the physical of him in the dream. I wanted the caresses even though I never really felt him in the dream. I just gave the caresses and I felt caresses given to me, but not really by him really. I wanted something that was growing in me and I didn’t know what it was, but I didn’t dream of my real teacher that night.
I saw him in the cafeteria. I was sitting at my table and he walked by. He leaned slightly in the direction he was walking as he passed my table. I don’t think anyone else saw it, but I knew what I thought he meant. I waited until he was almost at the door to the cafeteria and then stood up. I followed him and found him waiting in the hall a little ways from the cafeteria doors. I walked up to him and he began to walk, me next to him. We walked for awhile and then I heard his voice.
“What do you want to do Princess?” quite, soothing.
“I want everything…everything there is.”
“Okay.”