| Well im 15 going to be 16 in November. I started self harming myself when I was about 13 maybe. It all started when my mom and dad would always be fighting and screaming at each other, my dad talking bout killing his self. My sister cutting her self and burning her self. I was so depressed after being raped and everything. So i started cutting. It felt so good at first relived all my pain and depression for a short period of time. My self injury was kept a secret untill my bestfriend opened her mouth in 8th grade to the school counsler. I got call'd to the office and then was told to go to the school counslers office. I walked in and she asked whats going on I tried and played it off for about an hour and then she called my bestfriend down, and she pretty much said I have been cutting mysefl and evertyhing. So then I was told to take my jacket off, I did, the school counsler found 45 slits on my left wrist. She called the facility and they came and evaluated me, I didn't have to be admitted and then she tried caling my mom, my mom wasnt home at the time so I was able to leave and go to my bestfriends with her aunt. Then the school left a message on my machine for my mom, and my mom calls me and starts yelling at me and that drove me to it more, so I did 42 more cuts. Well by that time I had thought of suicide and never really attempted it. So over this past summer in July of 05 my bestfriend called the facilty on me, and they called the cops and the cops came and made my mom take me to the facility. I was admitted for a week, and I kept to myself. I was on suicidal precautions and elopment precautions by that time. Once I got out I never really self injured for a little over a month.and still kept it a secret when I did start injuring again. Just recently I have been under alot of stress, I made a mistake by cutting my wrist 100 times at my bestfriends house, she then called my mother who thought I stopped and then in return I was evaluated again and admitted again for a week. Now its October, and im seeing a therapist and after being in a mental health facitly two times within the past four months, I have been really depressed and still cutting. My mom knows and so does my therapist and I will be making my 3rd visit in the mental health facility. Everyone at the facilty knows me really well considering I was there 2 times in the past 4 months. Thats pretty bad but I was diagnosed with major depression and anxiety disorder from the rape. I am being forced to stop injuring my self from my dad but its not that easy to just stop it so I'll probably be going right back. Thats my story, you can email me at xxaeenicolexx@sbcglobal.net or im me on aim sw3etlilae3...best of luck to all. |
| Amber's Story |