Title: Get Real Paid

 Author: meagan <nutmeg@serv.net>

 Summary: Third in the Roommates series, after "Mr. Snuggles." The Spike requested: "oooh, but can they have sex against the bookshelves in Giles house, Meagan? With Ethan watching?" So this happened.

 Spoiler: Up to and including "Doomed" as well as my stories "The Feature" and "Mr. Snuggles." But not really the ep "A New Man" because, well, certain things happened that don't fit in my little 'verse. Since I couldn't remember if Xander and Ethan had met by the end of "Band Candy," I decided to at least make Xander forget what Ethan looked like, just in case.

 Rating: Why, NC-17, of course. I just can't seem to get these two alone without smut happening.

 Disclaimer: Of *course* they belong to someone else. If they were mine, things would be different. Specifically, they belong to Mutant Enemy, Fox, WB, and anyone else I forgot.

 Notes: The title has nothing to do with the story. I couldn't think of a good title, so I just picked the song playing when this piece was completed (my favorite line -- "touch my ass if you're qualified" -- is just a bit too long for a title this time around). Most of this was written under the influence of Beck (_Odelay_ and _Midnite Vultures_) while waiting for my hair dye to soak in (Jerome Russell Punky Colour in plum and Manic Panic in Rubine, Dark Tulip, After Midnight Blue, and Ultra Violet, for those who care. Yes, it *is* as colorful as it sounds. I have two hobbies: dyeing my hair various shades of purple and blue and writing slash).

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  Xander was bored. Really, truly, supremely bored. After an exhausting night researching at Giles' place, Buffy and Willow were in class, Anya was off doing whatever it was she did when she wasn't around him, and Giles himself was grocery shopping. Since Xander had fallen asleep at some point and didn't awaken until after sunrise, Spike was unable to leave Giles' and return to the Harris basement. *And* Giles' television was having a nonfunctional day.

  "Well, what do we have here?" Spike plucked an object from one of the shelves of the bookcase.

  Xander turned around to see what Spike was talking about. And turned bright red. "What are you doing going through my pockets?"

  Now Spike smirked. "Actually, it's *my* lube."

  "You bought it."

  The blond shrugged. "Stole, bought, whatever. The point is, *I* brought it here." He moved closer to Xander. "Aren't you even the slightest bit curious why I brought it here?" That smirk returned. "Or should I ask why *you* brought some here?"

  "Uh, better safe than sorry?" To Spike's amusement, Xander's voice actually *cracked* on that last word.

  "Really." Spike lifted one hand to Xander's face, running the back of his hand across the warm cheek. "I thought that was my excuse." He smiled as Xander closed his eyes and rubbed his skin against Spike's fingers. "I think you need this." His free hand grasped Xander's for a few brief seconds.

  "Hmm?" Disappointed when Spike's hand moved away, Xander brightened when he realized that he himself now possessed the lube. And that Spike's clothing was being rapidly discarded. "Gosh, Spike, do you have plans for the day or something?"

  "Yeah, I do." Spike turned his attention to Xander's clothing. "Arms up." Xander obeyed with a grin. "You like this?" The teen nodded. "How about this?" And Spike leaned in for what was meant to be a brief kiss, but Xander wrapped his hands around the blond head and held it in place. Gently sucking Spike's lip, Xander flicked his tongue experimentally against Spike's sharp teeth. The vampire hissed and jerked back. "Don't do that."

  Wide-eyed, Xander nodded. "I'm sorry. It didn't hurt, though." He dropped his eyes to the floor. "I was just wondering what it would feel like. Your teeth, I mean. Not actually getting cut." He touched his finger to his tongue cautiously and held up the blood-free tip. "See? I'm fine."

  "Good. Just don't try it again, okay? I don't know for sure if this thing knows the difference between me deliberately cutting you or you using me to do it on your own, and I'm really in no mood to find out at the moment." Now Spike moved his hand to Xander's, carefully wrapping his lips around the digit still held up. He deliberately worked his tongue over the knuckle, hoping that Xander would remember what happened the last time Spike sucked on one of the human's body parts.

  "Spike..."

  Bingo. The finger flexed in Spike's mouth, and he just kept right on his current task. "Hmm?" Now he removed his mouth from the index finger and switched to Xander's middle finger.

  Xander stepped closer, finger still in Spike's mouth. "I think..." Spike's free arm wrapped around Xander's waist, pulling them tight against each other. "I think..." He frowned. "We seem to have an imbalance of clothing here."

  "So?" Spike finally relinquished Xander's hand. "Let me go."

  "What?" Hurt, Xander dropped his hands and stepped away. "Okay."

  But Spike stepped back to his former position mere inches from Xander. "Where are you going? I need two free hands and a bit of room in order to do this." As he spoke, he unfastened Xander's pants, pushing them to the ground with the boxers under them. "And you need two free hands for that." He pointed at the lube still in Xander's hand before turning around and gripping the bookcase.

  Xander grinned. So *this* was the game. How tragic -- Xander and Spike, alone together, with no chance of being interrupted by the washing machine's off-balance warning buzzer. What could they *possibly* do with two naked men, lube, and a bookcase? Quickly, he opened the bottle and squeezed a puddle into his hand, careful to not drip on Giles' carpet as he applied the slippery substance to his rapidly swelling member. Xander placed the bottle back on the shelf next to Spike's hands as the teen slowly worked his fingers into Spike's tight channel. "Oh, wait a second." To Spike's dismay, Xander left him as he was, naked against the bookcase. Then Xander returned with a towel, carefully arranging it over Spike's erection. "To protect the books." And then Xander resumed his position behind Spike, this time pushing his own organ into the space previously occupied by his fingers.

  They were fully focused on their tasks. Xander was concentrating on coming, and Spike was busy merely remaining upright, welcoming the waves of bliss radiating from that tiny spot in his mind that he had thought would ruin his existence forever. He placed his arms on the shelf at shoulder level, pushing the books on to the floor so he had a space to rest his head. With one arm, Xander kept a firm grasp of the vampire's chest, holding Spike upright against his own chest and trailing his tongue over the shoulder in front of him while steadily stroking Spike's erection under the towel. This dedication to their respective goals -- not to mention the sounds of their bodies slapping against each other as well as their moans -- prevented them from hearing the front door lock being picked and the door opening. Finally, to the relief of both participants, Xander grunted and came, and Spike followed suit, immediately passing out in Xander's arms while the mortal caught the cool emissions in the towel.

  Lazy clapping caught Xander's attention. "Well, what do we have here? One muscular brunette violating one beautiful blond? Or did you kill him? He looks rather... deceased."

  Xander glared at the intruder. "Would you just shut up and help me move him to the couch?" Once Spike was resting comfortably and still partially covered by one small towel, Xander turned his attention back to the visitor. "And you are...?"

  "Ethan Rayne." He held out one hand, waiting for Xander to shake it. The teen looked at his hand, still sticky with semen and lube, and grasped Ethan's hand firmly. The older man pulled his hand from Xander's grip, frowning at it as he gingerly wiped it clean with a handkerchief he had produced out of nowhere. "You're still..." He motioned at Xander's groin, still unclothed.

  "Right." Oddly, Xander was not embarrassed at this discovery. At least not for himself. He quickly tossed his t-shirt over Spike's groin for better coverage before he pulled on his own pants and overshirt. Then he moved to the kitchen and grabbed another towel, running warm water over one end. "Do you mind? It's not fair to look at someone who doesn't know you're looking." He sat down on the edge of the couch next to Spike, attempting to clean off the vampire without lifting off the shirt as long as the stranger watched.

  "Fine, fine." Ethan waved a hand dismissively, turning his attention to Giles' record collection. "Let me know when you're done."

  Despite the fact that Spike was unconscious, Xander spoke to him anyway. "I'm sorry, Spike. I didn't know he'd be here." He pulled the t-shirt away and began carefully cleaning the vampire. It was an odd ritual, but he was actually beginning to enjoy it: fuck Spike until he came and passed out, then carefully wash him clean. Of course he liked the first part, but the second part was comforting in a bizarre way. As he worked, he spoke to Ethan once more. "What are you doing here, anyway? I find it hard to believe that Giles invited you here. I should call the cops." Since he was concentrating on Spike's genitals, he missed the fact that the vampire had regained consciousness and was now just watching Xander work through half-closed eyelids.

  Ethan sighed. "Go ahead. But I'll have to make sure to tell them how I found you screwing him."

  "Why? I mean, what has he done to you?" Xander gestured at Spike.

  "What?" Now the older man blinked. "Aren't you concerned that 'the gang' will find out you're banging some guy against Ripper's bookshelves?"

  Xander shrugged, only mildly self-conscious. "Well, sure, but we didn't make a mess." Satisfied that Spike was once again clean enough to dress, Xander rearranged the towels once more and lifted his face to Ethan's. "I mean, come on. You can't tell me that you and Giles didn't do this. Well, maybe not *this*, but --"

  "All right, I get your point." Giles' former friend frowned. "I think. Would you like to clarify it further?"

  Spike closed his eyes again as he listened to Xander speak. "I don't think so. I can't think of a reason that you need to know."

  Xander moved off the couch for a few seconds, returning with Spike's clothing. Awkwardly, he worked an apparently unconscious Spike's legs into the boxers and arms into the t-shirt. Amused and touched by this, the vampire decided that it was time to 'regain consciousness.' Stretching, he sighed. "My, that was fun." He turned his gaze to the older human. "And you are...?"

  "Rayne. Ethan Rayne."

  "Ah." Spike considered him for a few seconds before continuing. "So you know our Ripper? Did he ever tell you about me?"

  "I don't think --"

  "Allow me to introduce myself." He stood, tugging on the rest of his clothing as he moved. "The name's Spike. Occasionally William the Bloody. I met Ripper under... professional circumstances."

  Ethan smirked. "'Professional.' Really."

  "Oh, yes. Really." Spike allowed his features to slip, revealing enough of his vampiric face to make his point before reverting to human. "I tried to kill him and the rest of them. Including this one." He jerked a thumb at Xander. "Several times. But as you can see, I didn't succeed."

  "No kidding."

  "No kidding." Spike waited for the information to sink in.

  And Ethan did not disappoint. "Wait. William the Bloody? As in one of those vampires that Ripper used to go on and *on* about? One of the ones who --"

  "Took delight in torture and mayhem throughout Europe and South America?" Spike grinned proudly. "That would be me. Spike and Drusilla. Look us up in the books some time. Actually, I'm fairly certain there are some around here somewhere. Right there on the table, probably." Spike moved to the table and flipped through a few books before handing them over, pointing out the relevant sections. Ethan gazed at him warily for a long moment before turning his attention to the indicated tomes. Spike sat back down on the couch, this time resting against Xander in a way that proclaimed not his dominance over Xander but Xander's control over the vampire. He waited for Ethan to examine the information contained in the volumes. Once all color drained from Ethan's face, Spike smiled. "Now. Keeping that information in mind, ask yourself this: What in the world would make someone like me allow -- hell, *encourage* -- this kid here to screw me like you just observed?"

  Ethan sat in silence for a few long moments before quietly gathering his things. "Please don't tell Ripper I'm in town. It's a bit of a surprise." He paused at the door. "And I won't tell him about you. That's not a threat or bargain -- do for me and I'll do for you." Nervously, he opened the door. "It's just me assuring you that I won't do something that might require revenge on your part." And with that, he closed the door behind him as he left.

  Xander closed his eyes and counted to ten before bursting out laughing so hard that he knocked Spike to the floor. "Oh, man. I wish I had a camera. That look on his face was *priceless*. He's scared out of his mind, and we didn't even touch him."

  "Yeah." Spike climbed back onto the couch, curling up against Xander. "But you would have hurt him if he had called my bluff, right?"

  Xander wrapped one arm protectively around Spike's waist. "Of course. No one fucks with you but me." He grinned. "And I do mean that literally."

  Somehow, one of Spike's hands found its way under Xander's shirt. "Good."

  ~~~ the end ~~~