Title: Three Little Words
Author: meagan <nutmeg@serv.net>
Summary: Well, gosh, Xander's already dealt with Angel and Oz. What other guy can he turn to now? Sequel to "Unfinished Business."
Distribution: Please ask.
Spoiler: "Wild at Heart" and my stories "Similar Features" and "Unfinished Business."
Rating: PG-13/R, I think.
Disclaimer: Of *course* they belong to someone else. If they were mine, things would be different. Specifically, they belong to Mutant Enemy, Fox, WB, and anyone else I forgot.
Feedback: Please. When I started this piece, I intended it to be the last in this series, but now I'm not sure.
Note: Apologies in advance to the A/X contingent. It just didn't seem right this time around. I'll try to come up with some Reversal fluff to make up for it, okay? Or maybe some post-"Bad Idea" stuff?

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The morning was spent wandering. He picked up coffee and donuts here, looked in a store window there, spent a good chunk of time watching children playing in a schoolyard. Finally, he realized he was on a familiar street, standing in front of a familiar building. Shrugging, he

made his way to the door. No one answered. As he turned to leave, trying to decide if he was relieved or disappointed, heavy breathing caught his attention. He lifted his head to find a sweaty, panting Giles headed his way. "Um, hi."

"Xander. Good morning." Giles paused to wipe his face off with his t-shirt. "Is everything all right?"

The teen nodded. "I just wanted to talk to someone about last night."

Giles' face turned serious. "So you heard."

"Heard?" Xander frowned in confusion as Giles unlocked his door. "Oh. You mean Oz. Yeah, I actually went to talk to him this morning."

"You didn't say anything --"

Xander shook his head. "No, I didn't even know about that until I got there. I wanted to talk to him about other stuff." He sighed and sat on the couch. "And I didn't get to talk to him because he was busy packing. *He* talked, though. Told me what happened with him last night. But then he wanted to finish packing and leave before he changed his mind, so I left. And then I wandered, and now I'm here."

"Ah." Giles glanced down at his jogging clothes. "Do you mind if I leave you for a bit? I'd like to change."

"Oh." Xander waved his hand. "Go. Change. I'll just sit here quietly and try not to break anything."

~~~

True to his word, Xander was still sitting on the couch, silently staring into space when Giles returned to his living room after his shower. "Xander? Are you all right?"

At the words, Xander jumped slightly, startled. "Yeah. I'm fine."

Giles sighed and settled on the end of the couch opposite Xander, selecting the three words he knew were sure to follow. "It's just that..."

"It's just that something happened last night. To me. And now I'm not sure what's going on."

"And you think you need to talk to me."

Xander shrugged. "There's no one else I *can* talk to. Oz is gone, Willow must be crushed and trying to deal with that, and Buffy... Well, let's just say that she's not an option here."

"Ah." Believing he understood the problem, Giles rolled his eyes. "You need to talk to someone about your feelings about Buffy."

"Nope. Try Angel."

It was amazing how three little words could change things. Finally, convinced he had heard incorrectly, Giles broke the silence. "Pardon?"

Now Xander sighed. "Have you ever suddenly found yourself attracted to someone you hated? Just... Out of nowhere, things change, and instead of wanting to kill him, all you want to do is to be locked in a room with him, a box of condoms, and some lube until one of you passes out from exhaustion?"

To Xander's surprise, Giles smiled. And *chuckled*. "Ethan."

"Ethan?" Xander blinked. "Let's turn everyone into their costumes, raise demons, and curse the chocolate Ethan?" Giles nodded. "Okay, so was this before or after you regained your senses?"

"Both."

"*What*?"

Giles shrugged. "Wild, rebellious youth."

"Um, okay. I think I might be starting to understand that. But after?"

Now the older man smiled. "Memories. Wanting to recapture that youth." He sobered up, remembering Xander needed to talk about himself. "And so now you want my advice about how to handle your attraction to Angel."

To Giles' surprise, Xander shook his head. "I'm not really attracted to him. I mean, yeah, if he showed up here and said, 'Hey, Xander, let's go back to my room and spend the next three days naked and sweaty,' I would be so out of here that your head would spin." His mouth quirked into a slight grin. "And actually, I wouldn't be too surprised if he did that." He sighed. "But that's where things end. Physical stuff."

Now Giles sighed. "I'm very confused here, Xander. What exactly happened last night?"

And so Xander explained some of the events of the previous evening. Parker bemoaning his own activities the night before, the declaration that it had been a lot of a new type of fun for the student, the revelation that someone else's name was involved, Angel's appearance at the pub, the discovery that it had been the vampire that had been involved with Parker, and the name that had sent Parker into that lovely tailspin. "I guess just having sex with someone isn't enough to break the curse. There's apparently some sort of true love soulmate requirement. Anyway, the thing that I'm trying to figure out now is why Angel called *my* name."

"Perhaps all of the conflict between the two of you combined with the dominant position he was in --"

"Nope." Xander slouched against the back of the couch. "I asked Angel about that. Not the issue. And so I'm here, trying to figure out just why it happened."

"You *talked* to him?" Xander nodded, avoiding Giles' eyes. "And then what happened?"

Now the teen leaned his head against the back of the couch and stared at the ceiling. "He told me that Parker and I look a lot alike."

"Now that you mention it, he's right."

"Um, thanks, I think. Anyway, he did something that Angelus liked to do. He managed to, well, convince Parker to have sex with him even though, um, let's just say that it was a new experience for Parker. Then last night, Angel decided to tell me about it because he knew, one way or another, I'd probably find out about it. The part where my name was involved. So he came to the pub, and I told him that I had another hour to work. And he *waited* for me. He just sat there until my shift ended." Xander lifted his head from the couch. "Then we talked. Well, *he* talked. He said that once he started talking to Parker, he just ignored that guy's personality and pretended he was me." Now Xander sat straight up, realization sinking in. "He wanted to hurt Parker, so he pretended Parker was me so he could handle having sex with him -- good sex that Parker would remember and regret only because he was dumped afterwards after being convinced to do something he hadn't done before, just like he did to Buffy and who knows how many other girls -- even though he wanted to kill the guy. Thinking about me let him seduce that asshole -- made him think... Well, the crap he had been feeding Buffy. That he was special and everything else. Because that's what Angel thinks of me. Wow. Oh, wow."

"Well." Giles wasn't quite sure what the best response was given the circumstances. "So. Angel didn't actually harm Parker?"

Xander shook his head. "Nah. Just a little messing with his mind."

"Ah. Well, then, everything's fine? Aside from you possibly wondering what it would be like?"

"Not quite." Xander closed his eyes, inhaled deeply, and then spoke his next words in a rush, all in one breath, as if pausing to breathe would give him time to change his mind. Which, of course, was a distinct possibility. "So then he said that guilt during sex apparently let him keep his soul, and he felt guilty for kind of cheating on Buffy, and we went back to his hotel room, and I let him fuck me." Xander finally caught his breath. "No wondering involved."

Silence. Utter and complete.

After several moments, Xander wondered if he had actually said the words out loud. "Giles? Did you hear me?"

"Yes." More silence. "Are you all right?"

Xander sighed. "Yeah. More than all right. Which brings me here."

"Here."

"The part where I tell you that, yes, Angel still has his soul."

Giles stood. "Very good." He began to pace, not entirely sure what else to do. "If that's all, then we can do some more research --"

"Giles." Xander remained on the couch, gazing at the former Watcher's feet. "I still need to talk about the 'more than all right' part."

"Oh." He sat back down.

Xander studied his hands, trying to figure out where to start. As he spoke, a flush began to take over his face. "Parker was right. It was... enjoyable. Fun. A *lot* of fun. I guess Angel was careful. Gentle, tender, whatever." Now his face was nearing fuschia. "He wanted to make sure I wasn't hurt and that everything felt good for me." He covered his face with his hands. "And now I can't believe I'm telling you any of this."

"Well." Giles gazed at his own hands, wondering what to do with them. Finally, he rested one on Xander's back, moving in what he hoped was a soothing rhythm.

Abruptly, Xander stood and began pacing. "I'm not sure you want to do that, Giles. At least not until you hear the next part."

"The next part?"

Xander nodded, still pacing. "The part where I tell you that after I left him, and after I left Oz's, I started thinking about everything that happened last night. Especially the part where Angel and I were naked. But the more I thought about it, the less he was there." Finally, he stopped his movement. "And the more you were there."

Stunned, Giles could manage only a single word. "Well."

Xander smiled half-heartedly. "You said that already." Now the teen sighed. "Okay, so now you know, and now I'll just take that last shred of dignity that's writhing on the floor and leave quietly so I can perform last rites for it in peace." He moved to the door, fully intending to turn the doorknob and walk out, pretending for the rest of his life that the previous twenty-four hours had never happened, when three short words broke the silence.

"Don't go. Please."

~~~ the end ~~~