Title: Under
Author: meagan <nutmeg@serv.net>
Summary: Giles has been having a recurring bad dream. Pretty short.
Distribution: Please ask.
Spoiler: Season 4 rumors, but nothing really specific (and nothing that would be too surprising given the end of S3).
Rating: G, I think. I'm not good at ratings, so I'm guessing. No swearing, no violence, no sex, no elaborate plot.
Disclaimer: Of *course* they belong to someone else. If they were mine, things would be different. Specifically, they belong to Mutant Enemy, Fox, WB (even though they *really* don't deserve these guys after what they did to us in May), and anyone else I forgot.
Feedback: Yes, please.
Notes: I'm not wild about the title, but, since I suck at titles, I'm stuck with it. Please don't even *try* to figure out what prompted *this* idea. It hit me last night at a Loudon Wainwright III concert, of all places. During his song about Tonya Harding, I think. Someone on another list posted a challenge to use ten phrases or words containing the word "under," but they were wanting it to be either Willow/Giles or Willow/Ethan/Giles. I can't do that, but I can do this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

He was having the dream again.

It was the same every time: in the ocean, trapped in the undertow, just as someone's hand reached out to grab him. Their fingers would brush, but the waves would surge, and he would be pulled back underwater, washed away from his would-be rescuer.

The dream had first appeared shortly after he had been given his assignment to watch Buffy. Then he had met his charge and her new-found friends, and the dream had stopped.

His attempt at amateur dream interpretation had yielded the conclusion that the reason for the dreams was the impending doom he had felt, trapped in a fate that he had never wanted. Once he met her and had worked with her to save the world -- or at least their small corner of it -- the fear that his destiny inspired had vanished, as did the dream.

But now, again, he was undergoing the same slow, vague torture. The difference this time was that, before, he had a niggling feeling that she was the cause as well as the one to stop it. The current-day scenario, however, did not seem to have any cause or solution.

And so he took a cue from an old horror movie and stopped sleeping. Or at least avoided it as much as possible. He had seen the concern on the faces of the girls when the dark circles appeared under his eyes. They had even cornered him to discuss the matter one evening. He had assured them that it was nothing to worry about -- that he was simply having bad dreams and sleeping poorly. Of course, the mention of "bad dreams" had drawn out the discussion further, but, in the end, he had convinced them that the events a few months earlier had simply caught up with him, the reality of his unemployed status finally sinking in.

His thoughts turned to member of their group that had not been around to lecture him. Off on a highly-anticipated road trip somewhere. Where was the boy now? Happily slumbering in a random motel, far from anyone connected with his past, thereby avoid the gazes of pity and disgust that marked his days in Sunnydale? Underemployed at some random restaurant until he could save enough to set off on the next leg of his journey? Shivering under a bridge with only a thin blanket for warmth?

He shook his head. If there was one thing Xander had learned during his involvement with the group, it was self-preservation. Xander may have been an underachiever, but he had proven that he was able to come through in a crisis.

Moving from the living room to the stairs, he stumbled over a box. Since he no longer had a place to store his books now that the library was gone, they were always underfoot. He considered sorting through the boxes and putting them in piles to be shelved once he got that new bookcase assembled, but he finally sighed. Not much point in putting it off any longer. Time to go to bed. Glancing back at the box one more time, he was sorely tempted to go ahead and stay up all night, but he had promised that he would at least attempt to sleep. He would stretch out in bed, staring at the ceiling and hoping that the monster under the bed would wake him if the dream returned.

~~~

The dream returned that night, of course, and the monster under his bed had left him to toss and turn his way through the whole thing uninterrupted.

And the stress showed. The first words he heard when he arrived at the diner for breakfast were, "Are you okay? You look a bit under the weather." He assured the trio that he was fine. Then it dawned on him that something was a bit off in the room. Not wrong. Just an undercurrent of excitement.

"Hey there, G-man! Your reprieve from me is over." Xander's enthusiastic voice boomed across the air.

"Oh! I forgot to ask!" Willow's voice sounded over the reunion. She turned to Giles. "Could Xander stay with you for a couple of days? Just until he gets a job and finds a place to stay. Or until Oz convinces his parents to let Xander stay with them."

He sighed. Of course he would do it. Of course he would do anything for these kids. He just hoped the dream wouldn't return. He really didn't want any more discussion of it, and he knew it would be necessary if he woke himself up shouting like he had the week before.

~~~

And, of course, the dream was back. Brighter, louder, even more terrifying than ever. And so he woke up screaming. But Xander didn't come tromping up the stairs, demanding an explanation, so Giles burrowed back under the blankets and managed to fall asleep again.

The second time around, though, the dream changed. He was still underwater, desperately grasping for the hand reaching for him, but instead of getting swept away from the hand, the waves pushed him towards it. It took a bit of a struggle, but, finally, their hands caught, and he was pulled to safety. Once back on shore, he was face-to-face with his savior.

~~~

The next morning, he found Xander already up and awake. Staring off into space, but still not the sleep-until-noon zombie Giles had expected. Then the youth turned around in his seat and gazed at Giles for a long moment. And then he turned back away from the former librarian before he spoke.

"You know, I could never figure out who I was supposed to be saving. When I met you and Buffy, the dreams stopped, so I always assumed it was her. But then they came back when I left for the summer a few months ago, not last summer when she ran away, so I knew it couldn't be her. Then last night happened." Now he stood before he turned around again to face Giles. "So when did they start for you?"

~~~ the end ~~~