Captain Skidmarx

There's a fine brown mist of liquid poop
Spraying from my puckered bung all day
My diet spells doom for my Fruit of the Looms
As I sully, splat, and squeeze 'em on my way
A grown man with a diaper full
Waddling to the nearest dooley hole
It aint' no fake, when you gotta jake
I'll be a toilet bowl hog for that peanut log

Sometimes it's a fact that I get impacted
Gandhi food and Taco Hell at fault
I'm feeling mighty ill as the bowel stank bilge
Gravitates down to my starfish ring
Hard to believe what jets from my cleave
A quesy, breathing feces packin' stink
In the wintertime I just let it go
It warms my ass and I don't smell a thing

Captain Skid Marx... oh hell it was a dud
Captain Skid Marx... oh shit I drew mud
Captain Skid Marx... mah boxers fulla black
Captain Skid Marx... control is what I lack

People always say "Man you reek!" That's OK
I get more pussy than you ever will
Cuz when I get a rag on a poopy sheet jag
She tongues her way all over bunker hill
Some proclaim I need a doc
Colitus, trots or Krones disease perhaps
But you know I am the happiest
When I'm blowin gas and crappin my own pants

Captain Skid Marx... oh hell it was a dud
Captain Skid Marx... oh shit I drew mud
Captain Skid Marx... mah boxers fulla black
Captain Skid Marx... control is what I lack

Some proclaim I need a doc
Colitus, trots or Krones disease perhaps
But you know I am the happiest
When I'm blowin gas and crappin my own pants
My skidded pants
My shitty pants...
Give me half a chance and I'll crap your pants