Ok, so now it’s time for the sequel to “Uncle Clay Goes On An Interview”. Unfortunately the appropriate title already exists (“Interview With A Vampire”). I embarked on yet another interview to get away form the nice little place I work at now (hell). Basically I was frightened from the moment I went in. Learning from my last debacle, I belched several times before I went in. But I couldn’t unlearn all natural instincts, and thus promptly drooled at the hot, married receptionist. After meeting the important guy, being interrogated for a while and given a mini-tour, I promptly found myself lost again, in a rectangular building. Such is what it’s like to be me.

I interviewed with what would basically be the highest guy under the owners, a Sr. Mechanical Engineer, a Manager of Operations, a Mechanical Designer, a Mechanical Engineer, an Applications Engineer and a final wrap up with the important guy again. 6 hours worth. Ugh. The company is 35 people big, 10 in the design team, and they have more paperwork than any large company I’ve worked for. Not only that, half of it was done by hand. Incredible.

And although everyone seemed nice, there was a definite air of superiority that normally comes from being in close proximity to engineers. This was easily discerned in the interview sessions by almost all of them. Annoying really. The job seemed to require a lot of variety, and yet still seemed boring. Nonetheless, at least it was organized, intelligent and profitable (even growing).

So in the ‘wrap up’ session we review the days events, upcoming timelines, more questions and finally get down to financials. So this guy is blabbering on about the benefits. You know, same old crap, just slightly different wherever you go. “[… we have blah blah blah. We do our vacation like blah blah blah. You work so many hours, something about OT maybe, blah blah blah. We have full medical and dental blah blah blah. And of course, to keep our health care costs down all employees are enrolled in a mandatory experimental medical testing program.]”

Uh…what?

“[But don’t worry, it doesn’t hurt much.]”

WTF?

While I was barely recovering from the thought of alien anal probes, I got asked the most hated question, “So, what are your salary requirements?” I gave him a range and he promptly said, “We are looking at [something $5-10k less than what I just said].”

Hell, I make more than that now and I don’t have to take it up the Hershey Highway for anyone. Too bad though, because the commute would’ve been about 15 minutes.

Painfully Dumb but not going to be Anally Numb,

Clay