Iowa Wrapup

Day 4: Thursday

First stop, gas. And I haven’t even eaten breakfast yet. After fueling, stop by McDonald’s for a biscuit. Bacon and Egg. Simple enough. Whoa Nelly, how much butter can you put on one biscuit?! IT was so bad I actually threw away the biscuit and just ate the bacon and egg with my hands. Damn, that’s sad.

Now I’m back in the Moline airport. And here I got to see our new security measures in action. Some old lady was going through the security point with a small carry on bag. When the x-ray person stopped the bag and told her she couldn’t continue because she had a pair of scissors in there, things got interesting. Obviously confused and bewildered, our new vigilante wasn’t composed enough to react. Stuttering for words lost her valuable escape time, the guards were closing in. Given her age class (‘Methuselah’), they weren’t going to be rough on her, but she damn sure wasn’t going another step further. Luckily I did see her on the flight later, though she looks a bit more pale than earlier.

But of course, that was a long time away. First, I had to sit in the uncomfortable airport chairs for an hour while waiting for my flight. During this time I learned that Cincy was yet again having riots, the old guy driving the handicapped around takes tips and none of my friends are actually doing any work at 11am EDT. I also learned that $600/mon for a 1-bd apart in IA was very expensive. Man, wouldn’t that be nice?

On the plane and back to MSP. Now here’s some more security fun – they made us go through security again trying to get into MSP. I believe that poor woman was quick to tell them she didn’t even know how to use scissors. But that’s ok because now I’m wandering through the mall/airport and have found the goal. There sits a big-screened, fast-running Ms Pac-Man.

As mentioned, I’m no good at this game, but I did in fact achieve my personal all-time high score = 101,490 – woohoo! As I was trying to get this score, I saw the current high score. I though it said 80k. when I clicked over 100k and noticed the current high score hadn’t changed, I paid more attention. It was 852,840. Holy Cow, Batman! DC, have you achieved such greatness yet?

Two other interesting things about MSP – a dire lack of the staple mid-western hot dog vendors. Frankly, this pleased me. The other was all the military cargo planes on the runway. Not exactly what I was expecting (or wanting to see). I didn’t even try the crossword on the way back, but was presented with another thing that was obviously possessed by evil – the flight attendant. This woman was talking without moving her lips. The whole time. It was incredible. Mesmerizing. Almost hypnotic. Please fly Northwest, or something.

Oh well, at least I finally got home and out to the final Alive After Five for the year – woohoo. So here’s hoping your travels are as fun as mine,

Clay "no longer runs with scissors" Berry