It just keeps going. I couldn’t get to sleep. And of course I had to get up early for my flight. Or did I? Turns out I got up earlier than required and dropped car off and checked in in record time. So now I had nothing to do for an hour. Ugh.

Time for breakfast. More eggs. This is when I confirmed a theory I had – Midwesterners have got to be the dumbest people on the planet. They keep fucking up scrambled eggs. I don’t even know what was wrong, but these eggs sucked. How can you do that? I don’t know, but this was two days running, and at two different places. No wonder I can’t shit.

So I did my 15th crossword puzzle of the trip, while having bacon (they got that right) and an English Muffin while waiting on daybreak so we could fly out of there. At least I was amused by the 15yr old chicks. And yep, I would be sitting behind them on the flight. This can’t be good.

We get to St Louis early. Which really wasn’t good because I already had a layover. So no I’m aimlessly wandering the airport looking for video games to play. They have removed any and all forms of decent entertainment and replaced them with trashcans (some of which may have been gay).

I did get good cell phone service there so I made some calls (there being the airport, not the trashcans, pay attention). Back on the plane. Back to bed. I’m still so damn tired it’s retarded. A nice two hour nap. When I woke up, my lip was numb. How this happened, I don’t know, but it was damn odd. I couldn’t stop laughing.

We left the airport late but arrived on time (lead foot pilot). Which sucked actually because I was trying to delay returning to work. Oh yes, even though I had to go to a shithole like Moline, I was expected to return to work by 2 in the afternoon on a Friday because the airport was nearby. Ugh.

And here’s where I don’t mind delays. It took them about an hour to get us our luggage. I don’t know what happened and I don’t care. All I know is I go to lay out on the chairs waiting for the luggage, staring at all the women’s field hockey players from another flight. All the while, getting paid for this. Oh yeah.

I did finally get squared away and made it in to work, so my boss couldn’t bitch. Which is exactly why he’d taken half day vacation at the last minute and wasn’t there. Ugh. Well, the joke was on them, because it was finally ‘time to go’ (in more ways than one) and all was right again.

Clay “but can you do that with a 40?” Berry