You may notice I refer to the tiny terror of flesh next to me as ‘the child’ or ‘it’. That’s because I am unable to determine the sex of a child until it reaches the age of 18, or develops very large boobs. Eventually the plane landed. I was rather hoping for a crash but actually the landing was quite smooth.

Now I was in St Louis. So they told me. I’ve still never seen the Arch. Of course the plane experienced mechanical difficulties. Great, I survive all that crap to die now? Oh, hell no.

Or perhaps I wish I did. I get on this plane and find I am sitting in front of yet more small children. I just stuck my finger in the overhead light socket to end it quickly. The light wasn’t working anyway. Ugh.

But I survived. After this flight and the wait in the airport (more like a hot-dog stand on the side of the road where random planes fell from the sky) for luggage, I got my car and went to the hotel. I was tired. How tired?

Too tired to go tot the strip club. Dammit man, that’s just unnatural. Lol. Oh well, tomorrow’s another day.