Squeeze my pig?

My new pickup line and keychain. Now I’m going to tell you this thing is funny. Damn funny. You have to see (and fell) this thing. It’s a little pink pig key chain. Ok, big deal. The cool part is you can squeeze it. Ok, good Clay, you can use your hands for something other than… well, let’s just get back on topic.

When you squeeze it, the rear has some semi-sticky stuff that actually squeezes out, then goes back in when you release. I must’ve turned purple I was laughing so hard. Seriously. Endless enjoyment here folks. And it wasn’t just the heat, I still think it’s funny. Hell, I bought one. It was only $0.99 and it was easily worth $1.05.

In the words of the immortal Beavis, "Poop!" Dammit man, it’s funny.

Well, we survive the van ride back to the hotel. But now we only have a few minutes before we leave for the train station. Hmm, hungry. A few of us run to the hotel sportsbar and put in a ‘To Go’ order. That poor bartender. Stuck there by herself, assuming no one would really order food, 8 of us jump in and need stuff in 15 minutes. While waiting for our food (and her head to explode), we watch golf. That is to say, we watch some golfers fade while Tiger Woods walks away with another title. Amazing, that kid.

She finally gets help and gets us our food. We actually have a few minutes to spare so we scarf it down while watching the Woods comeback. We miss the finale but we assume he’ll win. Off to the train station. The ride home is quick. Lots of stories and some more fun looking through women’s magazines. On the way up we all took the astrology test to find out when we would next score or date. Most said something like "[in the next few weeks you’ll find romance" or "be careful, your next fling may be fun, but it won’t last". Mine said, "I’m sorry, you are not an instant winner."

But at least we managed to piss one of the train guys off. Some ignorant babble about dangerously moving the seats around. This after some people already turned theirs around. "[If Johnson gets up, I’ll get up. If I get up, we’ll all get up. It’ll be anarchy]". And now I know why they carry stun guns. But at least I slept.

Next stop: home