Breakfast of Champions

Which is normally just a Pepsi (or Mountain Dew of course). Today, however, I thought I needed more. Which is yet another reason I shouldn’t think. Nonetheless, I went to our new cafeteria to find some food.

For those that don’t know, we moved across town to this nice, big new building. Of course I got lost getting there the first day, the phones didn’t all work right, I’ve broken at least one thing and I’ve asked enough questions I think I’ll be banned here shortly. But on the whole, this is a sweet deal. The outside of the building itself seems to say, "yeah, I kick ass". The landscaping and interior décor are excellent and the new attitude seems to be good.

Now the cafeteria has been good to me so far. Good food, reasonable prices (ie, not subsidized, but worth what you pay for). No real lines, lots of variety, good place to meet new people. Because of all of this, we now have a weird policy – no meals at your desk. This is a pain because lunch is when most people either do their personal stuff or continue working. And they want us to use the whole hour for lunch. If I did that, I would be huge in no time. (Note: later I was told we just had to be there the whole hour, not actually eating the whole time).

Since I already had breakfast at my desk waiting (Pepsi) but I wanted food too, this put me in a quandary. Do I get a meal and another drink there, having to sit there and eat it, or do I get a snack and return with it to my desk. Already being late from therapy (and yes, another successful foot massage), I decided on the quick route. Or so I thought.

Not wanting crap food (ie, vending machine stuff), I tried something a little more healthy. Is a chocolate chip muffin really more healthy? It is in my book. This is a slightly larger than normal muffin, but not gigantic. Which is why I was surprised when she told me it was $1.33. I begrudgingly paid for this ‘snack’ and went back to my desk. Then I started eating.

And eating. Soon I noticed something: I was getting full. Eventually I started to get sick. And I wasn’t even halfway through. While not an everlasting Willa Wonka invention, there certainly is a breakthrough in muffin density going on here. It’s 11am and there’s still a quarter of that beast sitting on my desk. I don’t think I can get through it. Hell, at $1.33 each, you could feed more people than Suzanne Summers on $.50 a day with this shit.

Oh well, at least I know where the bathrooms are.

Clay "I don’t feel so healthy now" Berry