Another work update

So let’s talk about lunch. After the morning muffin, it was now time to gorge on lunch. I thought I was going out today so I hadn’t brought anything. Instead of going out, I ended up in the cafeteria again. Fine. So I’m looking at today’s special’s – some kind of Cajun pizza and a Western Beef and Bacon pizza. As you know, I don’t eat spicy foods so I went with the Beef pizza (Beef, it’s what’s for dinner!).

The first odd part of this was the pizza itself. A bit flat looking, but inviting nonetheless. But then I noticed the size of it. This is a single serving? What, for a bear?! I leaned over and could thus tell it was larger than my head. Damn.

Now I’m at the table eating it. Or trying. After I got it cut down to pieces I could actually hold, I ran into some trouble with the toppings. Oh, the beef and bacon were great, it was these green things that had me awry. I now understood what they meant by the ‘Western’ part; these were some sort of hot green peppers. Frankly, I think it was simply small packages of fire.

Once I removed the Mountain Dew bottle from my throat, I had to go get a box to take the leftovers upstairs. But I was soon back down in the cafeteria for my free, 5 minute chair massage. Oh yeah, I was ready for this. While I was confused by the Star Trek seat that woman kept trying to make me sit in, it was worth the trouble. Aaahhhhhh.

I get up and I can hardly walk straight I’m so relaxed. This is when they needed to have the Bloodmobile there. "Sure, stick me with that harpoon, I’m relaxed enough!" Instead, I got to go over and check my flexibility and blood pressure. So when the cute nurse asked me if I wanted to check my flexibility with her, I seriously had to restrain my tongue.

Instead of what I was thinking, this was some calf-tightening torture test. Ok, maybe that was at least along the lines of what I was thinking. Anyway, it’s a simple sit and lean over drill. Except my calves were tight from sitting on my ass for the last 3 months so it wasn’t pretty. I reached a few inches past my toes and this was only considered ‘Good’. I asked her where ‘Excellent’ was (again the restraint), and she pointed to a place farther down, that even with my 20/15 vision I almost couldn’t see. Woman, even if you folded my body in half, I simply can’t reach that far, I’m too short! She laughed. That wasn’t part of the dream sequence either.

As you can tell, I’m bored. But my blood pressure is fine, I’m relaxed and stretched out, so it’s all good.

Tune in next week when I finally get through the rest of that muffin!

Clay