Learning from our last mistakes, we immediately ask for directions upon pulling out of our parking spot. Unfortunately the best help we could muster was from an old guy we’ll call Boonhauer. Nice enough really but we just either couldn’t understand him, or his Metamucil hadn’t kicked in yet. Either way, we set off and promptly got lost. After about 15-20 minutes driving and realizing we were now close to the NC-VA border, we turned back.

We ended up driving almost all the way back from where we came. Which prompted Chris to want to drive back to the old man and say, "that didn’t work, what else you got?!" Instead, we stopped at another gas station. While the attendant at least spoke English, this was not entirely uneventful. Can you say, "Meat Sale"? I wasn’t allowed to find out what they meant by "aged beef" either. Sounds like a cute advertising term for "old as shit".

So now we’re off again. M&Ms are getting low and still we haven’t thought to buy an actual map. We finally find the place. Similar setup: short holes, lots of trees, cursing our bad play, etc. The first hole was nothing but a giant omen. Perfectly straight, maybe 165 feet, no obstructions. For those who don’t know, typically a hole will be 200-300ft long and/or have some obstructions (or at least something near to make you think about your throw). In other words, all of us should have been able to easily throw to within a 10-20 foot radius of the basket.

Instead, not a single disc even ended up in the fairway. It was an experiment in futility from that point on. I personally don’t think I landed in any of the 18 fairways. I also don’t know how many different ways we could’ve hit trees. And of course, there was Jim and his putting. Wow. We even managed to play the wrong hole a few times, and it didn’t even help.

So now we’re back in the car, it’s getting dark and the M&Ms are gone. Definitely time to go home. Good thing, this has already taken 4.5hrs and we haven’t even gotten home yet. Speaking of which, I don’t think Jim will ever go to an event with us again. Something about "Please let me out, hell, you don’t even have to slow down!" Actually, I made that quote up, but we could all tell he was thinking it. He just kept shaking his head.

So we’ll see you on the course sometime soon. If we find it.

Clay "the damn disc HAS to be around here somewhere" Berry