Actually there isn’t that much bad to say about this past weekend. About 20 mostly Jaycees (this was a nonJC event however) went on a nice beach trip out to Wrightsville Beach, NC. We did stay at a place that used sandbags to keep the hotel from failing into the ocean, but really, what else do you expect? Oh, right. And yes, we did have 3 rooms that slept 6, and anyone halfway decent at math now realizes I slept one night on the floor and another in a chair.

The drive up wasn’t too bad and the weather mostly cooperated. Most were fearing the rain, which did come, but what was really bad was the wind. I like to play volleyball. But not in a hurricane. It was retarded. I may be a small, weak little man, but it should not take all of my strength to get the ball over the net on a serve. Ugh. The wind also made it difficult to play ‘catch’ with any object (except bullets I guess).

Because I this I was forced to embark on other adventures. Like getting burned. Knowing retarded facts like, yes you can get burnt on an overcast day (Beach Rule #1), I usually come prepared. Focus on usually. I may be growing old, but I haven’t admitted it yet. This can be seen by all when looking at me (for those bold enough to do so!). Having a slightly receding hairline now, I am now burnt in those annoying widows peaks, where I forgot to put sunscreen. Ahh, blissful ignorance. Not to be outdone, the second day I decided to forget Beach Rule #2: you can get burnt through clothing. So no, the t-shirt did not save me.

Instead of playing ball when we first got there (the only time I think the wind wasn’t blowing), I did take the opportunity to do something I don’t normally do – nap. Right on the beach of course, which was fun. Except the part where I didn’t actually sleep, feel more rested and got too much sun. Oh yeah, and all the jailbait about. Ugh. Still, ‘try something new’, right?

Not new or different, I also moved on to ‘doing embarrassing things’. Like taking quizzes from girlie magazines like Cosmo. As Big John put it, "Step right up and lose your manhood". Seeing as how I keep my manhood on a shelf back home anyway, I thought "What the Hell?" Focus on Hell I think. 15 grueling, yet seemingly unrelated, questions to determine whether I’m good in bed. Of course, Chris – the lazy guy he is – tried to pass this test in one question; "Just ask me, I’ll tell you!"

As it turns out, I did score well on one of the more demeaning questions, "Do you think you’re short?" The rationale was the typical ‘short guys try harder’ to keep a woman (the all too true insinuation that we have to because we’re lucky to get whatever we can). I also got a judges’ reversal on one question ("Do you like Sushi?" because I’m a weird food eater, but was able to satisfactorily answer the implied question. Note: if you don’t know the implied question, you have successfully completed this quiz and, sadly no, you are not good in bed.)

So we all know the only way to embarrass myself more would be to dance.

Tune in tomorrow!