What's worse than standing in line, outside in the Florida heat? Getting to the front and being told to go stand in another one. Why? Because they don't have signs telling you which line is which. Ugh. And idiot teenagers behind the counter not knowing anything about what they're selling. Dammit. We pay for the zoo and this boat tour. Finally in.
In hell that is. I'm no parent, and now I know I never want to be. These kids were worse than "Wal-Mart kids", and you know that's bad.
So we go to see the primate section. Cool monkey shit. Literally. One of the howlers was pulling the shit out of his ass, inspecting it, and then dropping it. What was he looking for? At least they had cool stuff to swing on.
The next set of primates continued with the shit theme. The dominate make chased the inferior male around the area. The inferior male was so scared he was literally shitting himself while fleeing.
No shit with the orangutans, but a whole lotta ass-whopping. Two kid orangutans were wrestling around. They did so under this net hammock looking thing. This allowed them to make it a real 3 dimensional fight. Cool.
We saw all the other stuff too, but all was pretty normal. The cool things were the two baby tigers and the three manatees. We also got to pet sting rays. Slimy. Oh, the Florida Panthers were cool too. Now, on to the boat tour.
Or not. We got there in time and waited. And waited. "Be here soon." It was a minivan. Could hold 6 passengers. Ugh. So he made 4 trips. Dammit. Or rather he made 3 trips and another person made the last trip. Why? Because he was radioed away to save a "probably" choking child.
Question: Why does the parent not know 1st Aid? Question 2: Why is the van driver for your establishment your best hope?
Now, on with the show. Fortunately the boat was big enough. Too bad it had no cover. Damn it's hot here.
The tour, such that it was, was nothing more than a slow boat to boredom. We learned a lot about plants, what things were indigenous to Florida, natural springs, and how Americans have consistently and thoroughly been assholes to the Indian Nation. According to this guy, apparently the Seminoles were not originally native to Florida, but were in fact the only Indian tribe to successfully survive the American hate movement of the 1800's.
Tune in tomorrow for the good, bad and ugly of the tour.