Chapter 9: Keeping Her Attracted To You, Or "How To Have a Long Term Relationship"

The Beginning of the End, Or the End of the Beginning

Once you've figured out how to attract women, you're bound to
find one that's particularly interesting to you.
One that you might actually, um, love.
One that you might want to keep around for a bit.
Hey, you might even meet someone that you want to spend the
rest of your life with.
Even though I've made most of this book about meeting women, I
don't feel that it would be complete without at least a few ideas on
how to keep a woman attracted to you for the long haul.
But first of all, here's my take on why relationships fail:
When you first start dating someone that you really like, the body
releases a combination of chemicals that are quite literally intoxicating.
These chemicals cause you to want to be with that person all the time,
stay up all night talking to them, and have sex three times a day.
But twelve to eighteen months later, the chemicals change. The
intoxicating chemicals are replaced by 'stability' chemicals. The 'stay-up-
all-night-can't-be-away-from-her-have-sex-three-times-a-day'
feeling goes away and the 'lets-settle-down-and-have-two-kids-and-buy-
a-minivan' chemicals take over. Deal with it. (If you want to
understand this process better, read 'The Alchemy of Love and Lust' by
Crenshaw)
So now that you know this, how do you keep this whole thing from
turning into an episode of All In The Family?
Well, the short answer is, keep up the fun, interesting,
unpredictable behavior. Notice the details. Do thoughtful things.
Here's something that I've learned in life: If you want to get back
more than you give, then play the stock market. It's not gonna happen
in relationships. In fact, if you want to get a lot back, you're probably
going to have to give even more.

Most people are selfish, and they say "I'm not going to give more
than I get." But instead of getting a lot, all they get is old and
unhappy. I've found that it's much better to give a ton and get back a
lot in return, not caring about the fact that I didn't get as much as I
gave, than to give little or none and get back little or none.
Relationships aren't like investing. If you want a lot, get used to
giving more. But it's worth it in the end, because love and attention
and humor and fun aren't like money. If you give them out, you don't
have less. You have MORE. Get it?
 

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