FANTASTIC it was down there." Obviously the word "fantastic" is one of her "trance words".

When you detect trance words, feed them back to her in your communication. Instead of saying how much fun you had in Florida around the same time, tell her what a fantastic experience it was. In other words, you’ll be "speaking her language".

Be careful to use the exact trance words as she says them. If she tells you her uncle has a MAGNIFICENT home, and you say "You’re right, it’s a FANTASTIC home", it misses the point entirely. Her trance word is "magnificent", and the word "fantastic" probably doesn’t have the same impact to her. If you remember the Seinfeld episode where Elaine’s love interest calls the ugly baby "breathtaking", then you understand how this works!

By verbalizing her current situation, you make it more acceptable to her and she finds herself more comfortable in it. An example of verbal pacing:

"Do you realize we just met 10 minutes ago and already we’re telling each other all this stuff? It’s amazing how two people can just connect like this."

"Wow, we’ve been sitting here over coffee for 5 minutes and already we’re talking about all these deep things. It’s great."

"Hey, we just met here on the street and we’re having so much fun already!"

Demonstrating cool vulnerability means showing a woman the lighter side of yourself. When talking to a woman a lot of guys try to come off like they’re totally cool and never screw up, do anything weird, etc. Although it may SEEM to them that they’re demonstrating value to her by doing this, most of the time they’d show even MORE value by revealing their human side. Now, you do NOT want to be revealing negative or aberrant aspects about you, like your tendency to wet your bed or your bad habit of punching through glass windows when you get angry. Instead, show some quirky aspect of your personality that is endearing, but not degrading. Lock the skeletons in your closet!

When I want to demonstrate "cool vulnerability" to a woman, I tell her about how I just CAN’T leave my car until a song I like has finished playing on the radio. I tell her how sometimes I’ll be late getting somewhere, but I STILL just sit in the parking lot for 2 or 3 more minutes until the song is over. If I don’t, I feel CHEATED out of the rest of the song. YES, this is weird, and a little uncool, but it’s a quirky element to my personality that’s endearing and shows that I’m a normal person just like her. Doing this is more important when you’ve heavily attracted and qualified a woman, since she might be intimidated by you by the time you reach the Rapport phase. By revealing vulnerability in a cool way, you disarm some of that intimidation.

You can also use embarrassing stories to demonstrate cool vulnerability. Just make sure that the situations you’re talking about could’ve happened to anyone, and you handled them in a cool manner. You don’t want to tell an embarrassing story that makes you look like a total dumbass, like the time you drank your face off in a bar and then shit your pants in the taxi ride home. NOT cool!

An indirect compliment is a compliment not about something specific, but instead compliments generally. It’s a compliment that says that you like (or at least approve of) the same things she does, which of course is a way to demonstrate a connection between the two of you. Some examples of indirect compliments:

"You have a great sense of style"

"You like a lot of great rock bands"

"You liked movie X? You have great taste in movies"

"You like X food? You must have a good sense of culture"

"You like X beer? Wow, a woman who knows her drinks!"

"You like football?? Women who’re into sports are so cool!"

Try to be as general as possible. Saying "You have great taste in shoes" compliments her shoes. But saying "You have a great sense of style" compliments her ENTIRE style and holds more meaning for her.

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