How To Be A Nice Guy And Still Get Laid
By Mike Pilinski
High Status Male
I suppose I could have titled this article "Why Do Women Show Absolutely No
Romantic Interest In A Nice Guy (Like Me) Even Though They All Claim To Want To
Meet A Nice Guy (Like Me)?"
Whew! Well, maybe not. It sure is tempting though -- because in my unexpected
career as the internet's new "Dear Mr. Abby", I've gotten some basic form of
that question many times over in the past few months, and I'm getting sick of
it. So in the interest of suppressing my e-mail a little bit, let me show you my
theory of why it is that nice guys are scorned by women everywhere, and how to
get around this social handicap without having to take night courses in "How to
be a Jerk" at your local community college (although I hear they ARE a great
place to meet sexy young women... ;-)
I'm sure you know the infuriating mantra that you've heard time and again from
women --either in person or on all these stupid afternoon talk shows: "...But
Oprah, there's no one to date out there, all the guys are all such jerks and
losers. I just want to meet a nice guy..." Oh how they love to whine.
Well if you consider yourself to be the "nice guy" these women swear they're
looking for, but you strike-out with all but the very lowest end of the female
food chain anyway, then you know what royal bull**** this declaration really is.
Nonetheless -- despite the fact that most of the feral women (18-35) actually
date & screw the drunken lowlifes and pricks they claim to hate -- they seem
determined to drill it into our heads that this happens ONLY because the right
"nice guy" hasn't come-a-stumbln' into their life yet. Rrrrr-ight.
Ok, here's what's REALLY going on. As usual, women are talking in code. (They
are famous for this).
When women imagine "nice guys" in their minds, what they're really dreaming
about is a guy who makes them feel SAFE... but in a very *special* sort of way
that preserves his male sexual attractiveness. Actually, this is not very
mysterious when you think about it from the *female* perspective. To a woman, a
safe guy means ONLY that you're physically harmless -- nothing more. In terms of
what you could do to her emotions, well... that's a different story.
This blend of hot n' cold, exciting n' boring, safe n' dangerous is what she is
REALLY searching for -- this is what she *lives* for. It's what she thinks of as
having 'chemistry' with a guy.
The problem with being overtly nice or lap-doggishly friendly and accommodating
with women is that it communicates the worse kind of SUBLIMINAL message to them.
(P.S. Everything IMPORTANT that goes on between men and women in the early
stages of all romantic-sexual encounters is always communicated NON-verbally.
Words may be the power tools of seduction -- but it's what you DON'T actually
say with words that will make or break you!). Anyway, this lousy subliminal
messaging is the key to why nice guys rarely get laid. Here's why:
'Nice-guy' behavior is NOT something that women see you as "switching on" in
their presence like some well-meaning but fumbled attempt to impress them.
Instead, they believe that you've been TRAINED (yes, like a f***ing dog) by
other, *more powerful* men in your world to act this way!
In other words, 'nice guy' is how subservient men have learned to act in the
presence of stronger men in order to protect themselves from harm ("I am no
threat to your status as the more dominant male... please don't hurt me... let
me be your harmless, lovable side-kick..."). To women, then, "niceness" is a
screaming red flashing signal of LOW MALE STATUS, and therefore...
...it is an ENORMOUS TURN OFF to them!
This is why they can't develop any sexual energy (i.e., chemistry) with nice
guys, and with good reason. Nature has hardwired the female brain to seek out
the most powerful male to mate with in order to produce the strongest offspring
with the best chance to survive. It's the same reason why men have been
hardwired to chase after women who display physical signs of youthfulness
(because youthfulness = reproductive success, or viewed the other way around...
old ladies = reproductive failure... i.e., no eggs left in the carton, to put it
bluntly). While male and female ACTIONS may be completely different, their GOALS
remain the same -- strong healthy babies to carry forth the species. This is so
because "maleness" and "femaleness" are really just two different but
complimentary STRATEGIES for reproduction -- and men and women are compelled to
behave differently in order to executed these dissimilar strategies on one
another.
You see, Nature doesn't care about hurting people's feelings -- it cares ONLY
about reproductive success in order to keep those precious DNA molecules
traveling forward in Time. The dance of mating & seduction -- in all creatures
-- is linked inseparably to this bbiological imperative. Go against it and you're
flying in the face of millions of years of evolution (or maybe its design, who
knows?). Learn to play by it's rules... and you will win!
* * *
Anyway, being the correct sort of nice guy to women really only means being
someone who is A) safe, and B) a guy that she would NOT be embarrassed to show
off to her family or close (judgmental) friends. Understand that there's a lot
of latitude in there between a kiss-ass wimp and a complete psycho. Your job is
to find that happy middle.
* * *
Alright, some practical application of theory. It's difficult to describe
exactly how to go about handling the issue of being a nice guy, but here's my
best try...
You never want to ACT like a nice guy around women, but...
...you always want to SEEM like one.
Can you get a sense of what I'm trying to say here? The problem with being nice
is TRYING to be nice, instead of just LETTING it happen. You can't come across
as an *obvious* a nice guy -- you just have to drop enough hints around women so
that you SEEM like one. Never, *EVER* broadcast your nice guy potential to women
like it's something that you're proud of! Yeeesh!
Here's a few examples of what I mean:
1) When you first meet a woman that you're attracted to, you must establish a
NON-verbal line of communication in a way that provokes stirrings of instinctual
mating thoughts in her subconscious "deep" brain. In other words, you need to
transmit your interest in her in a man-woman sexual-potential way *without*
actually speaking any words to that effect! Nice trick, eh? Actually it's
easy... two ways in which you can do this are with extended eye contact and
brief, non-offensive touches. Both casual, but unmistakable in their true
meaning to her.
2) Drop HINTS about you're capacity to be a nice guy, but don't demonstrate it
-- otherwise you will come off likke a complete kiss-ass. Do this by A) slipping
in suggestions of having strong family-friends relationships in your life (a
sign to women that you're "connected & normal"), or B) that you have something
exciting going on in your life -- either at work, as a hobby, or perhaps a
recent adventure of some kind.
Here's an example from my own experiences. I used to work for a photography
company. Sounds exciting, eh? Not really. The amount of time I spent with a
camera in my hand was less than 5% of the total time I was there. I mostly did
boring lab work and mechanical "McGuiver" tricks to keep a lot of old, over-used
equipment up and running. But maybe a half dozen to 20 times a year, I got to
fly around in light planes shooting aerial pictures around the Western New York
area for various commercial clients.
So when I'm chatting up a girl, sometimes I'll work in a quick little anecdote
that's drawn from one of my old flying jobs. Like how the snowpack collecting on
Lake Erie forms such beautifully colored cracks in the greenish ice sheets
during the height of mid-winter. But I make nothing more of it, all very
nonchalant... and I DON'T fully explain how I came into the position of flying
around the area and making such an observation in the first place. Is it through
work? A hobby?... What am I involved in that would give me an opportunity to
view this natural wonder? Business travel? What?
She's at least a little bit curious about me now, but she's not comfortable
asking questions since I've just rolled over the subject quickly and she doesn't
really know me well enough yet. Besides, (and this is important to understand)
she LIKES not knowing! Mystery! Intrigue! I've suggested to her in an off-hand
way that I'm a productive guy (safe & normal) who's into SOMETHING that's kind
of fascinating and possibly making me good money -- but without revealing too
much about what it is, and especially NOT explaining every last detail in the
droll, somewhat braggartly way that is the hallmark of the boring-as- hell nice
guy.
You can drop hints about family ("connections", i.e. I'm not a lonely, desperate
hermit) or whatever in a similar manner to show her that you're an okay (nice?)
guy without piercing the delicate bubble of MYSTERY that must envelope every
seduction.
Now you're "in like Flynn" in terms of getting your foot in the door to her
heart (this is only Step 1 remember). Why? Because she's made the determination
in her *subconscious* mind (where it really counts) that you "seem" like a nice
guy beneath an otherwise dominant male presentation of yourself, and that piques
her interest immensely.
You are a rare encounter in the universe of men that breaks down into either
sappy, boring "nice guys" or worthless (but, alas, exciting) pricks. Your stock
has gone up at the moment it matters most... that make or break moment OF FIRST
ENCOUNTER. No matter what "flaws" you might otherwise imagine yourself to have,
you have become interesting to her in a way that AT LEAST she'll never
categorize as friggin' "nice". NOW you have a shot!
And you can move on to Seduction Steps 2, 3, 4, etc. with the confidence of a
High Status Male!
This article is taken from
High Status Male, Used with Permission
