ONLINE DATING IS HERE TO STAY Since we're online and we're focused on women's interests and concerns we can't ignore Online Dating. I met my husband on an online matching service. I was actually signed up on three different sites because I was serious about meeting someone and wanted the widest array of choices. The most important element necessary to meet men online is to have a healthy respect and strong connection to your intuition. Every woman I've ever spoken to about a bad experience meeting someone online has told me, after I queried them, that they ignored their intuition. How often, after an event, have we told ourselves, "I knew that was going to turn out that way." Every time that happens we've ignored those red flags that are waving in our faces. But isn't that so for anyone we first meet? Sure, there are times when we're fooled by someone charming, but even then, if we look back, we'll usually realize there were little signs along the way. If you're the type of person who gets taken advantage of by friends and salespeople, if you get your heart broken easily, or if you are afraid of strangers, you absolutely should not be meeting anyone online. You would be best having friends set you up. But if you're self-confident, know yourself well, and are strong enough to say no to even the most handsome, charming man simply because "something's not quite right," then you should have pretty good luck with online dating. To begin, pick a service that is easy to negotiate and feels good to you. We've put one here for you to try. Answer the questions truthfully. Men have told me that more often than not, women lie about their weight. Women tell me they think a man they've developed a nice connection with won't mind once they finally meet. MEN DO MIND. For one thing, they don't like that you try to fool them. Also, men are visual and are not usually attracted to women who are overweight. It's a simple fact. But there are men who do like women with a little added weight, or don't care that much. So why not be honest and find those guys up front? But if you're insecure about your weight, it's going to show up in your personality and you won't be that appealing. Beauty comes from within, from a deep and abiding love for yourself. If that's not there, you're not going to be attractive to anyone. When answering essay questions, emails and during phone conversations, be as clever and interesting as you know how to be, but don't try to be something that just isn't you. It will eventually come out and then there are two unhappy people. When I answered my essay questions, I began with Once upon a time there was a fair maiden, and kept the theme throughout my add. The email I got was really fun. Clever and playful. Be interesting and interested. Of course you like someone who is interested in you, but so do they. Balance out the time you both get to ask and answer questions. Ask questions that get to the heart of the person, without prying. Questions like, "What gives you the greatest satisfaction at this time in your life?" Or, "What's the most fun you ever had?" Then, shut up and listen. Too often, we don't listen because we're so excited to say what we want to say, then wonder why they don't turn out to be that interested. Take your time meeting face-to-face. There's a lot to be learned over the phone and it keeps the mystery building. Once your gut says, "Yes, this guy is too interesting not to get better acquainted," then it 's time to set up that first meeting and see what happens. Be prepared not to want to see each other again. More often than not, once you meet in person, see each other's faces for real, feel each other out in ways that aren't even discernible, chances are there will be something, even a smell that you are not conscious of, that will cause one of you to find that the spark just isn't there. That's okay. It doesn't say anything about each other except that it's just not a fit. Thank each other for the opportunity to meet and wish each other well. Then say to yourself, "Next."
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