Queen for a Day - A Powerful Driver

By R. Don Steele
 

HOW MANY ARE THERE?

In 1988 there will be 13 million between 18 and 24. A million will be black which makes it nearly impossible. "12 million and counting." Another three million are living in rural areas, impossible. "9 million and counting."

Deduct those in mental hospitals, jails, pregnant, or who are mentally or physically handicapped, those with an IQ below 100 and ethnics who don't date white boys. "5 million and counting."

Eliminate another million fatsos and uglies. "4 million and holding. Roger. We copy. Marriage problem." Ten percent under 19 are married. By 24, half are married. "Understood. Ignition. Lift off at 3 million."

I live in a paradise full of young women, Los Angeles. The typical 7.2 here is an 8.2 in Phoenix, a 9.2 in Tulsa and she's a 10.2 anywhere in Appalachia. I've calculated there are 15,000 unmarried, average and up females 18 to 24 within ten miles of my place. Probably 5,000 are living with a guy or are about to get married. Gee whiz, shucks, gosh darn, only 10,000 to choose from. If you live in the suburbs of a large city, your choice is as wide as mine.

You say you've noticed a lot of talk about Boyfriends. Disillusioned? Don't be. You'll only know what really makes her tick when you find out why she has a boyfriend. He makes little difference to her. He must make no difference to you.

O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?" JULIET, for all young women

Boyfriends

After you're able to crack the 25 year old barrier you will quickly find yourself involved with a young woman who has a boyfriend. Why? Only twenty percent of the target population is without boyfriends or fiances. You won't get anywhere limiting yourself to those without. WHY SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND

Beyond her natural need for human companionship and sex, beyond her common need to escape neurotic parents she's programmed to "need" a boyfriend. She feels it as a real need, as real, as powerful, as any natural need.

But she learns this particular "need." Her family, schools, religion, Girl Scouts, television and other institutions teach her, brainwash her into wanting what our culture blindly considers a timeless value. Coupling young and reproducing has a 50,000 year track record of success. Our customs of marriage and reproduction are based on, and rooted in, ancient tribal survival values. Those long dead rituals live today as societal pressure on the young to pair off for life and make babies.

A hundred years ago it made sense for farm families and poor families. Survival of the tribe (family) depended on the children having children quickly so there would be more workers for the fields, mines or factories.

Today it makes absolutely no sense to couple young and reproduce, yet few young women question the reasonableness of marrying one's first or second "love" and having children until it's too late. It's too late when she's 27, has two kids, he's staying out all night, there's no money and she's 40 pounds overweight. Her intense desire to be Queen for a Day precludes rationality.

QUEEN FOR A DAY - A POWERFUL DRIVER

The girls who get married are the envy of all female friends and acquaintances. Even colleagues who realize 18 to 24 is ridiculously young to make "until death" commitments are envious. The bride is the center of attention for weeks preceding the ceremony, then she's literally, Queen for a Day.

Each and every young female in attendance yearns for the focus to be on her and they all, or nearly all, are secretly jealous and resentful. Surprisingly they feel this way even when the groom is a geek, unrepentant womanizer, druggie or a shiftless, unemployed dolt. Every young woman wants to be Queen for a Day. A queen must have a king, any king.

MINI-ENGAGEMENTS AND MINI-MARRIAGES

For six or more years they lived in, and many still live in, a subculture dominated by peer pressure and peer values. Their entire mini-society is devoted to pairing up, rehearsing to get married and live happily ever after. As they move toward this unquestioned goal, miniature engagements and marriages give them a chance to learn, practice and perfect the control and manipulation techniques they will use in their real marriage.

Mini-engagements are marked by frat pins in the academic world. In the real world a promise ring is used, a miniature diamond set in an engagement ring mounting. How cute.

The primary reason for a mini-engagement is to make them feel like grown-ups and to cement their relationship. She uses the occasion to lord it over her girl friends and to legitimize her sexual relations. He uses it to ensure steady sex. When you see his "brand" on her one of two things will be true, she'll be impossible or relatively easy.

In my experience a third of them take him for granted after the mini-engagement. Before hooking him she was preoccupied with getting and keeping a boyfriend but now she's free to discover the rest of the world, including older men.

Mini-marriages (living together) and most mini-engagements come complete with monogamous expectations, the requirement to only have the same friends, to visit and "enjoy" each other's parents and so on. When they break up it is a highly charged, severely painful event similar to divorce in every way, with crushed egos and dashed dreams. Even in puppy love the love is real, at least to the puppies.