Understanding the Convenience Situation
By R. Don Steele
The affair starts out awkwardly if she has not hinted or said she can't be seen with you. To save face she pretends she's not sneaking time with you. The stress is enough to ruin everything on the launching pad. My solution is to always suggest out of the way places and unusual times for initial dates.
A word of caution. Never ask directly or indirectly if she minds being seen with you or why she can't make it for a date if she calls and begs off. Don't force her to admit what she does not want to admit. It's not important.
These young women are teetering on adulthood but aren't ready to dive in. They are prone to get neurotic quickly but if you're relaxed and patient things can settle down to a moderately long relationship of say, five to eight months.
After the opening, delicate stages, the affair can develop into a marvelous time for both of you. As with the girls who have to steal time and sneak around, the early stages are much the same. However, this young woman is braver, eager to get on with it, so events proceed at a more rapid pace. It's about the same as with an unattached 27 year old after the second get together, except this young woman can't be seen with you.
If you two are really enjoying each other, she too, will want it to "lead somewhere." Again, to be a stand up guy, you must plant the same seeds early on so sanity can be restored more easily if this stage is reached. (See Ethics.)
An affair of a couple of months with you lets her see she's ready and able to make it on her own. She breaks up with Jimmy and moves into an apartment with a girl friend. Without telling you she continues to see him, after he forgives her, but she only strings him along while dating you and others. In the end, she strings you along, too. She's braver than the ones with a death grip on the security blanket but no more honest. Neither knows how.
You are her interim-transitional "boyfriend" while she builds her confidence to live in the adult world. You're only a tour guide. Don't let this be demeaning to you or to her. She needs your support while learning. Don't forget, she's teaching you plenty, too.
Yeah, I know I didn't tell you about the third kind of boyfriend, he's explained in The Right Attitude. I didn't cover unannounced boyfriends either, I'm saving them for an explosive surprise later on.
Even though you now understand her better, far better than she understands herself, you won't get anywhere until you understand one other person, yourself. What you don't know can, and will, hurt you. I'm living proof as you will see, and hopefully learn from.
If you don't know why or doubt your sanity for wanting to date someone half your age you'll never be able to do it. Step one is making certain you fully accept, believe and thoroughly understand Why Young Women are the best females on the planet. After that comes the hard part, being honest with yourself about other motives you have.
