Do You Really Want To Be In Love? By Bart Baggett
Before you decide you want to find your perfect lover, ask yourself what love is. There are probably a thousand different definitions for the concept of love. It is important to know what you are looking for so you will know when you've found it. Webster defines love as a deep and tender feeling of affection for or attachment or devotion to a person or persons. I define love in a slightly different way:
As you can see from my definition, love is more than just a mental bond between two individuals. Love is physical. Anyone who has ever had a loved one leave or break up knows what I mean. Have you ever had a wrenching pain in your gut caused from the emotional pain of loss? That is the result of a very real chemical reaction called emotion. It is the development of these strong emotions that connect two people in the state of euphoria called love. We know that a connection exists between people on a much more physical level than just thought. The human body is much more than flesh and bone. We are completely electrical in nature. I once saw my doctor make a tiny light bulb work with just the electricity from his fingers. If you aren't familiar with amazing electrical aspects of our body, check out the Chinese art of Chi. It is the foundation of acupuncture. Not only is the body electrical, it is chemical. It contains thousands of different chemicals that, among other things, create thoughts and emotions. An experiment done on rabbits illustrates the powerful electrochemical bond two animals have with each other. A mother rabbit and two of her baby rabbits were used in the experiment to discover what kind of bond existed between the family members. The three animals were separated for about a week. The mother rabbit was connected to heart monitors and blood pressure gauges. Then, in front of the mother, one baby was killed. In obvious distress the mother's body reacted with increased heart rates and blood pressure. You can imagine how any animal, including humans, would react to their baby being killed in their presence. About a week later, the other baby was taken about a mile offshore in a ship. The mother was again connected to the monitors. At a specified time, the second baby rabbit was killed by the researchers. At the same time, the mother rabbit's heart and blood pressure went crazy. She had the same reaction as she did the week before. Her body, emotions, and electric systems reacted as if she knew her baby was in trouble. Obviously, she did. Have you ever had similar blood pressure and heart increases when you were either falling in love or losing a love? Falling in love is a state we all yearn for while losing love is a state we dread. Yes, there are risks involved in being in love. If love is some kind of physical bond, it might be painful if the bond is broken. I have had a few heartbreaks in my time. But now, as I look back, I usually got over the pain in a short time. I remember a particularly painful breakup after a nine month romance. I spent about a month in the dumps. However, I realize now I had nine months of pleasure that definitely outweighed the one month of pain. Some of you have had a nine year, nine month, or nine minute romance that you still haven't gotten over. It is time to let it go. My friend Blanco Navarro once told me "I'd rather have my heart broken than to never have known true love at all." Below is my visual illustration of the risk and rewards of love.
Before you read this book any further you have to ask yourself the following question. Is the pleasure of being in love worth the possible pain of losing that love? If you say yes, congratulations. You are in for a wonderfully fulfilling life. Read on. If you say no, you need to evaluate how much pain not having love brings you. If you are content being alone now, what about the future? How much pain will being alone bring you in the next year, five years, ten years? Visualize yourself on your death bed alone. Realize how much pleasure you have missed because you weren't willing to take the risk of being in love. As you see that image, realize it is only one possible timeline of your life. You can choose now to open up your heart and be willing to love. When you choose love, the future becomes much different. After making the decision, you see yourself one year, five years, ten years down the road, in your happy home surrounded by the person or people who love you. What color is this scene? That is your color of love. Loving and being loved will make you happy the rest of your life. As you now look back on your life, you realize the decision to accept the risk of being in love brought you so much more pleasure than it did pain, you would make the same choice again. As you can see clearly from looking through the eyes of your future self, deciding now to open your heart is the decision which will bring you love and happiness the rest of your life. Finding Your Next Lover Excerpt from his book : "Handwriting Analysis for Love, Sex, and Relationships"
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