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Looking For a Job? Give Yourself a Chance
By Jeff Fowler
I own a small computer software company that I’ve run for twelve
years, and recently we ran an ad in The Washington Post for a part
time secretary/receptionist. All of us who follow the news are aware
that business has been difficult at best since the “dot-coms” crashed,
and many of us know people who’ve been laid off. I was therefore
entirely unsurprised at the large volume of responses we received to
the ad. However, even though I’ve been looking at resumes for over ten
years, I’ve always been amazed at the poor quality of most of them.
Even in these trying economic conditions, this time was no exception.
Having been let go from a job years ago, I’ve experienced first-hand
the anxiety and frustration of being out of work, and I’d like to
share my thoughts, suggestions, and perspective in the hopes that
it’ll help some of you in your quest for employment. As such, here’s
my “Top Ten” list of common transgressions that can cause your resume
to be dropped in an employer’s circular file.
1. Misspelled words. This is far and away the most common and surest
way to destroy any chance you have of being considered for an
interview. Think about it: a resume is your first (and usually only)
chance to make a good impression on a potential employer. From my
perspective, how important can this job be to you if you don’t even
bother to run a spell check? Further, if you won’t even take the time
to proofread your own resume, you clearly don’t pay attention to
details, and I certainly can’t count on you to draft letters or fill
out forms correctly for me.
2. Language, grammar, and punctuation mistakes. These comprise the
second most common sin of resume writing. Though I’m a proud graduate
of Bladensburg High School’s class of ’76, I’m certainly not an
English expert. However, even I had to raise my eyebrows when one
hopeful candidate wrote his address and decided to put periods after
both letters in the state abbreviation (“Adelphi, M.D.”). Another
young lady (who proudly trumpeted her Bachelor of Arts in English with
a writing concentration) submitted a cover letter with the following
sentence. “Because, however, I gave birth to my first child in July,
and will begin graduate school, full-time, this month, a part-time
opportunity will allow me to devote more time to my studies, and to my
little one, without all of the rigorous demands that a full-time
teaching position requires.” Even to my inexpert eye, that seems like
lots of commas. Hmmm, must’ve been one heck of a college, eh? Bang,
you’re out.
3. Job hoppers. A close third. OK, so you send a resume showing a
different job every few months for the last six years, and I’m
supposed to believe that you’ll suddenly find the permanent and
lasting utopia you’ve been seeking with me? I don’t think so. If
you’re a job hopper, my advice to you is to clear your reputation by
finding some place where you can stay for at least three years.
Unfortunately, you’ve lost that chance with me.
4. Unexplained employment gaps. Remember that I’m seeing your resume
for the first time, and I don’t know you from Adam. Employment gaps of
two months or more make me think that your departure from the first
job was unexpected, and it took you a while to find another, which
suggests that you may have been fired. If I see more than one such
occurrence on your resume it’s adios, amigo. If you do have a
plausible explanation, I’d suggest providing it in your cover letter.
Another related sin is being purposely vague with your employment
history; i.e., “Acme Insurance Agency, 1998-1999.” This makes it look
like you’re hiding something, and I’d rather not take the chance of
finding out what it is.
5. No cover letter. Many people (including myself) have been told that
a resume should always start with an Objective paragraph. My personal
opinion is that they’re dumb, because they all say the same thing,
which is basically nothing at all. Here’s an objective from the first
resume in my pile: “To obtain a position where my experience and
education will be fully utilized, while affording me the opportunity
for professional and personal growth.” (Incidentally, I’d be willing
to bet that nine out of ten Objective paragraphs I read contain the
word “utilize.”) Let’s be frank – we both know your objective: you
want a job. Even better, a job that you like doing, pays well, and has
good benefits. So rather than recite the same tired words as everybody
else, write a cover letter that gives me the opportunity to know you
as a person. Here’s a very nice excerpt from a cover letter I
received:
Dear Prospective Employer,
My name is Jane Doe and I am applying for the Secretarial position you
advertised in The Washington Post. As my resume indicates, I have a
wide variety of experience in a number of areas. In addition to my
experience, I am a responsible and hard working person with strong
computer skills – most of which were self-taught. I am organized and
efficient and I enjoy working as a team player.
6. All italics. Ok, so the same person who advised you to “utilize” an
Objective paragraph told you to do something that makes your resume
stand out. And your interpretation of that is to send me what looks
like a wedding invitation by writing the whole thing in italics.
Sorry, but I’m not comfortable feeling like you’re playing mind-games
with me. Incidentally, I received a couple of cover letters in all
caps. Sorry again, but I don’t like being yelled at either, so please
use mixed case on your next opportunity (since you’ve lost this one)
7. Too lengthy. Almost everyone, including the advisor who’s been so
helpful thus far, tells you that a resume should not exceed two pages
plus a cover letter. This is good advice; please take it. One of the
resumes I got spanned twelve pages. All I can say to you is: good luck
with your career search.
8. Too short. On occasion I’ll get a resume that simply lists places
and dates of employment with no details at all. C’mon, you must have
done something while you were there. No? Well, bye-bye.
9. Racy email addresses or voicemail recordings. Although I may
experience a brief vicarious flash at the thought of hiring someone
who’s email address is SexKitten38@loveconnection.com, I really don’t
think it looks all that appropriate on your resume, and I’m quite
certain that my wife wouldn’t go for it. You might also consider what
happens if I call the phone number you’ve given me and I get your
answering machine. One recording was quite interesting indeed (I’ll
leave it to your imagination), so impressive in fact that I played it
for several other people in the office. Unfortunately for you, I
didn’t leave a message.
10. Skill mismatch. Let’s be honest: the job calls for written and
verbal communication skills and you don’t have them. Hey, I can’t get
Danny Snyder to let me play football for the ‘Skins either. Your best
bet to find employment is to make an honest assessment of what you’re
good at and apply for jobs that require those skills. Although if
you’re the lady who made the voicemail recording, you might have to
move to Las Vegas.
In the course of writing this article I made three spelling mistakes
and several punctuation errors. (Truth be told, I have no clue what
the formal rules are regarding when and where to use commas.) But I do
two things that apparently many of you don’t: I run spell and grammar
check, and I ask someone else to read my work.
I want to hire you, and I know that you’re basically a good person. So
please, give yourself a chance next time. Happy hunting.
Jeff Fowler is president of Lanham-based Decision Software, Inc.
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