Although they are of the same person, you can tell at first glance that one was done by an amateur, while the other was done by a professional artist. Writing is the same way. There are common mistakes that amateurs make, and there are impressive tricks that pros use. I wish I'd had someone to tell me these things. As is, I learned by reading the work of masters and comparing it to my own.

Newbies often write "Well," every other time a character speaks. "Well, if I were you, I would avoid Dayna for a while," Chris said. My theory is that the writer didn't know quite what she wanted Chris to say and writing "Well" gave her a chance to think about it. People don't actually say "Well" that often, though. After Chris starts his sentences with "Well" several times, he starts sounding like Beaver or Opie: "Golly gee whiz, you oughtta avoid Dayna for a while!" or some such.

Chances are, this is not the impression the author wanted to make.

Keep exclamation point use to a minimum! Nothing says "Like, Ohmygosh, I really want to impress you with the importance of what I have to say, but I don't want to take the time to explain how important it is," like overuse of exclamation points! Plus they start to lose their punch after a while and then you start using multiple exclamation points!!! Soon they've multiplied and spread like a Biblical plague!!!!

Scary, no?

Slow down. Think about what you want to write. Any amateur can tack an exclamation point to the end of a sentence. A pro will describe what is going on in such a way that it makes readers feel excited.

...is handling profanity/vulgarity badly. I am not a fan of either. And if you're writing for younger audiences, you don't need to worry about it. However, some amateurs writing for older audiences go to strange and unrealistic lengths to avoid having anything nasty at all in their stories. One writer I know killed off the main love interest rather than let her be captured by maurauders, "because of what they would probably do to her when they brought her back to their tents."

You're not writing for your parents. Or if you are, you don't need to read this because you already know your audience and know exactly what they like. Surely you admit, though, that if you're writing about a SEAL on leave, he probably isn't going to say "Shuckydarns!" when he makes a wrong turn on a highway in Seoul.

BUT, other amateurs go too far the other way, gleefully flinging themselves and their writing off the cliff of pointless vulgarity. Profanity for the sake of profanity is not artsy. It doesn't prove anything. It doesn't mean you're creative and that people "just don't get" you. It means you're a bit-rate writer with nothing to say and that you lack the vocabulary to say even that.

Let's be grownups, but please, let's not be vacuous.

Relying on stock phrases. There are certain phrases which plague every genre. An ex-boyfriend of mine wrote Sailor Moon fanfiction. He said that "a leggy blonde whirlwind" appeared in almost every Sailor Moon Fanfiction he'd ever read. As for me-- If I have to read "emerald-green eyes" in a fantasy story about elves one more time, I'll begin taking hostages. Avoid comparing anyone's eyes to jewels. It's been done so many times before that it's a cheap cop-out.

Don't get discouraged, though. Even great authors such as Tolstoy and Dostoevsky fell prey to the Russian cliche, "rosy-fingered dawn."

Again, think about what you write. If you can't think of a good comparison or metaphor, don't use one. Simple as that. Not everything needs to be compared to something else, and sometimes things are exactly what they are.

When describing settings, amateur writers tend to toss in whichever details they happen to think of. A professional figures out which details are most important or most interesting. For example, if you were describing a scene taking place in your own house, how would you describe it?

The carpet is brown. The walls are off-white. There is an orange chair, and a loveseat, and a couch, and a rocking chair, and a desk, and...

Boring! Professionals do not catalogue furniture. Think about the things people are likely to notice as soon as they come in; important things, or unusual things that will make an impression. Grab your readers' attention with a shiny pinwheel in a pencil-holder, or a human skull with a graduation-tassel between the teeth ("class of '06!") on the mantel, or a vintage poster of Bootsy Collins dressed in a blaze of gold with rhinestone-studded sunglasses on, star-shaped guitar, and outsized puffy hat.

General impressions are also important. It is usually good to begin with these. Perhaps you are describing an elderly person's apartment. Thus a younger person finds the place too warm. Perhaps there are so many plants in the apartment that there is barely room for furniture. Noting the general appearance of the apartment might help: is it shabby? Opulent? Good, but don't just say that. Show it to readers by describing why the character formed this impression. Describe peeling paint with layers of other paint beneath, and dirt in the corners. Or in the case of opulence, tell about the wall-to-wall plush carpet and newly remodeled breakfast-bar.

More is forthcoming.