Soon, Griddlebone gave birth to her kittens. Three of them. A gray, tiger-striped, tabby tom, an orange and cream tom, and a pure white queen. The little female looked like her mother in every way, save one. She had my eyes.

How could that be, I asked everyone I knew. I wasn’t the father. She couldn’t have my eyes; it wasn’t possible. Griddlebone shrugged it off, telling me that it meant nothing at all. I couldn’t possibly be the only cat in the world with eyes like mine, could I? No, I couldn’t. Yet, this delicate little queen was raising many questions in me.

I put them out of my head for the time being. I was far too busy to worry much about my stepdaughter’s eyes. I had found shelter in Growltiger’s abandoned warehouse, bringing with me Griddlebone, her kittens, Orion, and Ira. Several strays had taken up with us, in desperate need of shelter. I let them stay one, but only so long as they were able to contribute to the food stocks and other things we needed to survive.

Grizabella came to visit every so often, insisting that she only wanted to see Griddlebone’s kittens, but I knew the truth. She was worried for us. For the first time in my life, I worried about by my mother. The feeling was wonderful.

Eventually, her visits became so frequent and long that I just asked to move in with us. She refused at first, insisting that having her around wouldn’t be much of a life for a young couple just starting out together. Griddlebone was a little unsure herself, at first, before I mentioned the fact that Grizabella would most likely love to take care of the kittens if we wanted a moment to ourselves. That quickly turned her over to my side and within a few days Grizabella moved in, leaving behind her bar.

“Go on, Otto. I have things to do.”

The little gray tom pouted. “More important than me?”

Grizabella laughed and drew him into her arms. “No. Not more important. Don’t be silly. But I do have things to do and I can’t do them if you’re scurrying around and making trouble and noise.”

“Awww....”

“Listen to her,” I said.

They both jumped, unaware that I was watching and listening in on their conversation. Otto wrinkled his nose.

“Macavity, why are you always sneaking around here?”

“Otto, why are you always annoying Grizabella?”

He rolled his eyes skyward, reminding me of myself when I was his age. Yet, he was somehow different. Maybe it was who his father was. Even though I tried to ignore and forget this fact, it kept creeping up and my love for him was than that of his siblings. He was so much more severe and serious than either of them. In fact, more so than any of the other kittens at the warehouse.

“Fine, I’ll go play.” He trotted off, no doubt in search of his brother.

“I’m sorry he’s such a bother,” I told Grizabella. “You know who his father is. That probably explains everything.”

She cringed back. “I wish you wouldn’t do that.”

I glanced at her, startled. “Do what?”

“Speak of him like you do simply because of who his father is. He’s a sweet boy.”

“It’s not a lie, mother. I know I shouldn’t think any less of Otto, but... what good could any kitten of Growltiger’s possibly be?”

She whipped around, her eyes flashing dangerously. “I told you to stop that!”

“Why does it bother you so much?”

She shook her head. “Just don’t do it.”

I took her paw. “Mom, please tell me what’s wrong.” She jerked her paw away, looking angry and overwhelmed.

“You want to know, do you? Fine. I don’t want you talking that way about Otto because his father is your father, too!”

I felt my knees buckle and I sunk to the ground. Instantly, Grizabella was at my side, drawing me close to her. I felt numb. I could hear her whispering comforting words into my ear, but they made little to no sense. She was stroking my face like I was a kitten.

“God, no,” I heard myself whisper. She hugged me tighter.

“It’s OK, Macavity. It’s all right, honey. I didn’t mean to tell you like that, but you didn’t give much of a choice. I probably wouldn’t have told, ever, but you had to know and I couldn’t help it. Macavity? Are you OK?

“Oh, Macavity. We were young and foolish. Please listen to me, dear. When I got pregnant with you, I left him right away. I knew you’d have a better life without him in it. I ran away before anyone could do anything about it.

“I met your brothers’ father and we planned on raising the three of you when we learned that I was going to have more kittens.” She stopped and looked away, her eyes distant. “I loved him so much, darling. He would’ve been such a wonderful father to you, I know he would’ve. But... he died. He died before he even got the chance to look at his children.

“I know this is hard for you, Macavity, but you have to look at me. Please, baby?”

I raised my eyes slowly. She stroked my face and kissed my cheek, her eyes moist with tears.

“Are you OK?”

“OK?” I croaked. I pushed her away from me, ignoring the hurt look on her face. “How can you ask if I’m OK? Everlasting Cat, you told me who my real father is and that the brothers I know are really my half brothers and...”

“I know,” she said, her eyes pleading silently with me. “I just didn’t want to lie to you anymore.”

“Mom...”

“Yes, sweetheart?”

I stood shakily, my limbs feeling as they did in dreams. Only, this was a nightmare. “He tried to kill me when I was a kitten.” Her mouth dropped open slightly. “He... he’s the reason that Orion doesn’t remember the Jellicles. And he’s my father?”

I heard my voice shake as I neared to the end. She reached out to hold me, but I stumbled back, shaking my head. I couldn’t hug her. She caused this. It was her fault. I knew it. Why? Why would she do something like this to me? I thought that she had loved me enough to keep things like this from me. I had to get away.

Feeling my breath growing ragged, I spun and raced away.

I finally tumbled to the ground, not so far from the junkyard of my childhood. I rested my head against some of the heaped up garbage that hadn’t made its way into the junkyard yet. A drizzling rain had begun and I could feel the rain and the mud plastering my fur to my sides. How disgusting.

If only I could go back into the junkyard and live as though nothing in my adult life had ever happened. But, that wouldn’t happen. I couldn’t abandon those who needed me; my mother, my mate, the kittens. But, that meant facing them again and facing a past that was new to me. A past I hadn’t even known existed.

“Who’s out there?”

I tensed and pressed close against one of the cardboard boxes. I didn’t recognize the voice at all and I wasn’t stupid enough to go prancing around a place where I figured everyone thought I was long since dead. I watched carefully as a tiny kitten, no older than my step children, poked his head out of the junkyard, eyes wide.

He looked around, then stepped out and stood as tall he could go. A moment later, a second kitten hurried up next to him and sat down. For a moment, I couldn’t decide whether I seeing double or if there were twin kittens not so far off. I realized they were indeed twins when the second kitten leaned over and licked at the first one’s cheek. He sniffed and stood up, mirrored exactly by his twin.

“Whaddya see?” the second asked, her voice a crystal soprano. The male kitten shrugged uneasily.

“I dunno, Tant. I think there’s someone out, but...” He glanced at her and shrugged again. “You see anyone?”

“I sense someone,” she said, then her head jerked towards my hiding place. Our eyes met for an instant and she took a few steps backwards. “I don’t want to be out here anymore.”

He nuzzled his head against hers, concerned by her behavior. “Why? What’s wrong?”

She grabbed onto his arm, obviously nearing tears. “Please, Cori. It’s scary out here. Let’s go find Skimble or someone big. Please.”

They both turned, as if on cue, as another tom appeared at the gate. He scowled playfully at them.

“What are you two doing out here? There might be Pollicles roaming around out here.”

The female kitten whimpered softly, digging her claws into her brother’s arm. he yelped and pulled away. The young tom’s scowl turned into a serious frown as he looked down at her.

“What’s wrong, Tantomile? You haven’t seen a Pollicle, have you?”

He stepped forward and I finally got a good look at his face. Three things happened at all once. I gasped and fell back against the boxes, the kittens ran away from the boxes in terror, and the tom leapt forward, ready to attack. The moment he laid eyes on me, he stumbled back.

“Macavity! But, no! You’re supposed to be dead!” he cried, herding the kittens behind him.

I stared at him in silence for a moment, then stood. I had to admit, it was interesting to watch him shrink away from me in terror. Of course, as far as he knew, I should’ve, by all means, have been dead. I supposed he was looking at a ghost. I felt my mouth tug upwards at the corners.

“Don’t be stupid, Lonnie. If I were dead, how do you suppose I’m here talking to you? Because if I were a ghost, I certainly wouldn’t have come back to talk to you of all people.” He shook his head warily.

“How? How can you not be dead?”

I jumped forward, intending to frighten him even further. He cringed back for a second, then narrowed. He was waiting for my answer. I shrugged.

“I dunno. I’m just not. And isn’t that a question to ask? Your best friend’s brother isn’t dead and you can only wonder why?” I glanced at the kittens, who, in typical kitten interest, had crept forward and were watching me with interest. “These your brats?”

Alonzo sniffed and shook his head. “No.”

“Whose are they?”

“Orphans.”

“Sure about that?”

For a moment, he only watched me with narrowed eyes. Then he looked down at the kittens.

“Go back into the junkyard.”

“But, Alonzo, we-”

“Now!”

They jumped and scampered into the junkyard. I began to worry about what I had gotten myself into. Surely, though, he wasn’t going to do anything. He’d never been aggressive; a lover, not a fighter. However, the moment his eyes met mine, I realized that had changed.

“I don’t know why you came back here, but I suggest that you leave.”

I narrowed my eyes angrily. “This is just as much my home as it yours, Alonzo. If not more so. At least I have family here. You,” I looked him over disdainfully, “really aren’t much better than a stray.”

I found myself pinned to the ground in a matter of seconds. My face was pressed into the mud and I could taste metallic blood in my mouth.

“Damn it, Macavity,” I heard him growl. “You really never learned when to shut your stupid mouth, did you? Even after all this time, you’re still an idiot. Well, here’s an idea.” I went rigid as I felt him press his claws to my neck. Everlasting Cat, did he intend on killing me? “You can leave now and we can pretend that none of this ever happened, never even here, or you can go on being a cocky jerk and I can repay you for everything you ever did to me when we were little. Take your pick.”

I didn’t move and, after a moment, he loosened his grip and moved away. I pushed myself upwards to glare at him. He glanced down the alley.

“Go on, get out of here.”

Without another word, he turned and went back into the junkyard. I wiped the blood from my chin, boiling inside. He would repay? That was a joke. If he wanted to see revenge done properly, he’d only have to wait until I was done with him.

I didn’t go home that night.

Instead, I roamed the streets of the city, stewing over everything and becoming more angry with each passing step. I fairly stormed into the dimly lit pub, daring anyone to approach me. I supposed everyone was too terrified to. Not that I could blame any of them. I was full grown tom with a matted coat, dried blood on my chin, and a furious look. Of course you’re terrifying, I told myself viciously. You’re Growltiger’s son, after all.

One queen, however, did have the nerve to approach me.


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