| Keeping your marriage healthy will be a challenge during the training years. Here are some suggestions to ease the process: 1. Communicate: Find some time each week where you can really talk to each other. Be honest about your feelings about their training and be prepared to listen to their hopes and frustrations. 2. Find your own Niche: Med students, residents and fellows keep pretty lousy hours. It can be miserable if you don't establish a life for yourself outside of the medical marriage. You may want to consider going back to school, working, or starting your family. 3. Give your spouse space: This has always been the most difficult one for me. I see him so rarely that when he walks through the door I expect for him to be able to devote all of his attention to the children and myself. I find myself feeling disappointed and resentful when he is too exhausted. Giving him time to unwind after work has helped us to strike a balance. 4. Nurture your relationship: It is easy to let romance fall to the wayside during the training years. Your spouse is tired and you may be feeling lonely. Try to make some special time for you each week...even if it means pinching pennies to hire a sitter. 5. Surprise your stressed-out spouse: with his or her favorite meal when they are on-call or if you have children, try and meet occasionally for a family dinner at the cafeteria. 6. Take care of yourself: It is easy to become focused on your spouse and the excitement and challenge of raising a family. Often your needs are the last to be met, but if your life isn't balanced it can be difficult to take care of everyone else. Join a gym with childcare, a literature group or even try an online class. |
| Surviving The Medical Marriage by Kris Math |