Quotes From Dispatch
"But his knees won't go down!" --Nursing home attendant trying to initiate CPR on a rather stiff patient who was "fine a few minutes ago."
How old is the patient?
Her age?
Yes.
Oh! Uhmm....56.....43?
An attempt to call back a doctor's office to clarify an address:
Hello this is DOA ambulance-
No, this isn't an ambulance, this is a doctor's office.
Yes, *I* am with DOA ambulance-
We don't have any ambulance.
No, YOU called US to transport a patient!
Oh, you're a patient?
No, this is the ambulance company you called to transport a patient of yours.
Oh, the ambulance!
We are coming to get Mr. Smith to go to the ER and we--
Why does he need to go?
He's really sick and I can't wake him up but I need to leave, so will you guys be here soon? The home health aid hung up and left, ignoring the dispatcher who tried to tell her she needed to stay.
We need you to pick up a patient of ours at her house.
Okay, what for?
She's a 76 y/o female who's having trouble breathing and has a rapid and irregular pulse.
Is there a reason this isn't a 911 call?
We don't want to call them, she doesn't need all those people there.
Well, we might need to call the them. Could you tell me her address?
Sure, but could you wait about 10 minutes before sending out an ambulance?
What! Why?
Well, she just left our office and it'll take her at least 10 minutes to get home.
??!!??
A dispatcher was explaning what went in the milkshakes he'd just made when the phone rang: "Hello, DOA icecream! Uh, ambulance...sorry about that."
Hi, this is SOL health center, we need an ambulance.
Okay, who's the ambulance for?
Oh, do you need a name or something?
Yes, please.
Oh...Uhm....I'm not sure. Let me grab his chart (pause). Okay, it's John Smith.
What's he going in for?
Oh, I'm not sure..... let me check....
Is he being transported for an appointment or is this an emergency
I don't know, let me find someone....can you wait a few minutes?
Okay, can you give me an address?
The patient's or here?
The address where the patient is right now.
Sure, it's probably on something here, we usually have stationary or whatever.....well I can't seem to find it, it's just SOL medical, he's here at SOL medical.
Yes, can you give me the address or tell me which building?
I'm not sure, I'll have to look it up.
Okay...can you tell me the floor and room number.
I think it's the third floor, yeah the third, I don't know the room number.
Is this a BLS transport?
What?
Does the patient need any advanced life support, like a cardiac monitor, or medication?
I don't know, I'll need to check but I can't find anyone to ask.
Hmmm. Can I have the patient's date of birth?
Sure....well....I don't see it.... you keep asking all these hard questions!
The patient has an O2 sat of 72 and seems to be twitching.
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