WARNING: Thinking of plagiarizing my work? Don't do it. Many teachers will type a random phrase of your essay into a search engine and see if it turns up anywhere on the internet. Funny thing that you found this site... probably your teachers can too.
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1. Eat like a Québecois. Your new major food groups consist of: Croissants and Montreal Bagels (not those silly New York Bagels), Maple syrup, cheese, beer and cigarettes. Beer and cigarettes are at the top of the pyramid given out by the government and are suggested to be consumed in the least amounts... but just like the rest of the world they ignore that and it’s probably half of what they do, in fact, consume.
2. Destroy the French language. Put massacred English words and apostrophies everywhere. This is known as "Jouale". The more you sound like the working class, the more you qualify as "laine pure". This is because "Jouale" is a most effective pre-zygotic barrier to the fertilization of a non "Jouale" egg, and vice versa. People who don't speak "Jouale" won't understand those who do, so the chances of having sex with an Anglophone are 0.0001%. |
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3. Be convinced of your superiority. Not just of your province's superiority, and the fact that it is officially recognized as a distinct society, but also of your own personal superiority. For example, when driving, (especially in Montreal), you are far more important than anybody else on the road, and therefore they should allow you to pass them on the sidewalk, run red lights and honk at pedestrians as they run to get out of your way. |
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