Make Money Fast And Help Me Start My Own Global Corporation

Okay, let's face it. You're not going to make any money as an Amazon associate. There's about half a million of them out there, all selling the same shit, so let's get real: your Web site's just a drop in the ocean.

So how do you make a few bucks out of Amazon? Simple. Knowing that Amazon are notoriously finicky about infringement of their name, just register an Amazon name and then tell Amazon about it.

First, get an Amazon name - a one year registration - something like Amazonkers.com or Slamazon.com or whatever. Probably best not to get anything like AmazonAreABunchOfFascistBastards.com, or you may have a bit of trouble on your hands.

Next, get a new affiliate ID. The reason for this is simple. They'll close your account, so you don't want an account with any money in it. Probably best not to try it if you've got another account with something in it either.

Next, direct your forwarding url for your newly registered Amazon name to an item at Amazon.com with your new affiliate ID tagged on. Then whack your Amazon domain name into the address bar of your browser a few times. This will redirect and register on Amazon's servers that you're using a corruption of Amazon in your Web site name, and they'll be able to suss who you are from your affiliate ID.

Then sit back and wait for a pretty nasty email from them - assuming that you've given them all the correct details (important) - telling you how they've spent millions protecting the Amazon logo (y-a-w-n) and all that kind of shit, and how you must either (a) sign over the domain name to them, or (b) leave it to run dry, or they'll take action against you.

Next, reply to them saying you didn't realise there was a problem registering the name, and they can have it, 'cos legal action is a costly business and essentially pointless, and there was no malicious intent, but you're pretty sore at having to lose it 'cos you think it's got real potential. All that kind of shit. Emphasise the potential of the name. You get the idea.

Then they email you saying they'll buy it off you, and they'll pay over the cost of registration for your inconvenience. And so all you have to do then is send them confirmation that you'll sign it over to them, and you'll need the transfer details. Emphasise how sore you are at losing it, and wouldn't it be great if you could have a bit extra to register a decent name.

Once you've signed it over, expect a check within 14 days. Ideally, this should be for a figure around double what you paid. Not bad for a few minutes work. Is that cool, or is that cool? It's more than you're likely to make off Amazon in 6 months as an associate, let's put it that way.

Just one more thing to bear in mind: This is a once-only job. If you were to repeat the same thing with them again, they'd probably haul your ass into court.