Things We Will Never See or Hear in SWAT Kats: The Radical Squadron.

By Jessie Clawson and Matt Fiske

 

            Feral not saying he needs chopper back up.

            Enforcer HQ actually doesn’t get blown up, mangled, destroyed or attacked in any way. 

            T-Bone actually agreeing with Razor to bail out right away. 

            A giant 40-storey monster is approaching the city, but is easily stopped by a confident local law enforcement.
 

            Callie Briggs calls the SWAT Kats on the phone instead of her ‘secret’ communicator.


           
Manx doesn’t play golf


           
Manx does an ounce of paperwork in the office.

           
            
Callie not grumbling on about Manx playing golf.

            
           
Callie playing golf.

            
           
Callie calls the SWAT Kats just to see how they’re doing.

            
           
MegaKat City doesn’t get attacked by anyone/anything.

            
           
Dark Kat swears off the use of explosives in his master plans

            Feral not calling the SWAT Kats "hotshot jerks."

            Feral has lunch with the SWAT Kats

            Felina obeying her Uncle’s orders to “stay put”

            Razor actually doesn’t have some kind of a device or vehicle made for the occasion. 

Razor doesn’t upgrade a system for weeks! 

Razor fixing the Turbokat with a Swiss Army knife and an excuse that he forgot his toolkit back in the hangar.

T-Bone doesn’t do something crazy while flying. 

Plan “Z” works

Pastmaster sees Callie and decides that she isn’t his type anyway and goes after someone else. 

An alien comes from outer space with peaceful intentions. 

The Turbokat gets a flat tire. 

The Turbokat falls out of the sky due to the excess weight of the stuff they carry aboard her in every episode! 

Callie Briggs uses contacts. 

Callie Briggs wears something *other* than pink.

Mayor Manx defends his city. 

Chance deciding that taking a shortcut isn’t a good idea after all. 

Jake gets to drive.

An evil alliance that doesn’t break up.

Dark Kat doesn’t double-cross anyone he joins forces with him

Professor Hackle tries to reprogram the Metalikats into law-abiding citizens – he succeeds. 

Viper swears off having anything to do with katalysts and chemicals. 

Creeplings don’t laugh for two minutes.

Viper realizes he doesn’t want to turn the city into a swamp after all.

Molly doesn’t hit Mac whenever he irks her.

Mac doesn’t hit a single car or object when he drives. |

Metallikats decide they don’t want to rob banks anymore as they are robots and have no need for money anyway, they decide to get jobs as chauffeur and a housekeeper.

The Pastmaster doesn’t scream “NOOOOOOOOOO!!!” at the end of an episode that he appears in.

Pastmaster realizes that there is no sense in bringing the Dark Ages back as soon as he sees what the Internet is. 

Dark Kat decides to run for mayor instead of conquering the city.

Dark Kat runs for mayor and wins! (Sage's Note: Heaven help us all.)

Creeplings form a union that states that Dark Kat can no longer use them as shields when he is being shot at. 

Dark Kat doesn’t say “I anticipated this.”

Dark Kat says “I anticipated” and actually does anticipate it! 

Dark kat doesn’t have a contingency plan. 

Dark Kat doesn’t have a contingency plan than involves leaving little ‘gifts’ for the SWAT Kats. 

Villains are caught, incarcerated, and serve life terms and are never heard from again. 

Feral says “Thanks” when the SWAT Kats safe his tail

Razor forgets about an add-on on the jet. 

Speeds of heat engines get jammed into place because Razor forgot to WD-40 them. 

Turbokat gets hit by lighting, but everything is fine and they are still in their own dimension. 

Chance doesn’t put any dings on the jet while jumping down with a wrench in hand. 

Hard Drive actually wins in a fistfight.

Hard Drive doesn’t use his surge coat.

Hard Drive switches his surge coat for something else because he’s been told he looks fat in it. 

The Turbokat launch pad jams half way down as they land. 

The runway door doesn’t open as the Turbokat takes off.

Razor flies, while T-Bone acts as the WSO

The SWAT Kats are introduced to a future that is happy and where peace and prosperity exist. 

The enforcers actually handle a crisis. 

Lt Cmdr Steele doesn’t steal the Commanders office while Feral is away on Dark Kat’s Fear Ship. 

Lt Cmdr Steele doesn’t say “I’m Lt. Cmdr. Steele, that’s with two e’s” when introducing himself to someone. 

Creeplings play chess. 

Creeplings play basketball

Creeplings decide to form an alliance of their own to get rid of Dark Kat.

Creeplings decide to form an alliance of their own to get rid of Dark Kat – they succeed. 

A 300-story tower that doesn’t have any giant insects, aliens or mutated cabbages as residents. 

The Pastmaster dies and stays dead. 

Viper doesn’t use his tail to get someone. 

Viper creates a race of cute and cuddly lovable creatures

Viper grows more hair

Viper wears pants. 

Creeplings wear clothes

Creeplings save the day

Burke and Murray act nice for a change.

Razor doesn’t have an explanation for a particular situation. 

Feral admits that he messed up. 

Museum exhibits don’t come to life. 

Pastmaster doesn’t gripe about his watch.

Callie doesn’t sound like Dot from Animaniacs

Razor doesn’t sounds like Papa Smurf or Donatello. 

Turbokat runs out of fuel

Turbokat *doesn’t* run out of fuel 

Dark Kat’s Creeplings learn how to talk 

Dark Kat explains how he understands his Creeplings. 

Dark Kat’s Creeplings don’t ‘neener’ a word through the whole scenario. 

Chance refuses to watch Scaredy Kat

Jake decides that David Litterbin isn’t a sophisticated comedy show after all. 

Chance doesn’t maim a TV set when Feral is badmouthing their counterparts on the news.

Jake doesn’t mutter “Aww Chaaaance” when he does it. 

Feral says “The Swat kats saved the city. We just stood there and shook in fear.” 

Felina takes ‘no’ for an answer. 

Chance admits that he’s a pilot but he doesn’t know what an engine can handle when it comes to cars. 

The Turbokat crashes despite T-Bone’s “Come on, one tiny miracle is all I ask for!” 

Manx explains his accent.

The Turbokat is on it’s usual little action sequence as it prepares to take off, T-Bone guns the throttles only to have the engines sputter out because they forgot to refuel the jet. 

Razor runs out of new ideas. 

Razor accidentally calls T-Bone “Rib eye steak” 

Dark Kat runs out of evil ideas. 

Dark Kat says “if I loose, everyone looses!”, then presses a button that should activate an explosive but it sputters out and everyone stares at Dark Kat strangely for a second before tackling him. 

Pastmaster creates something that actually gets the job done! 

Molly and Mac don’t fight for an entire episode

Dark Kat pressing a button on a remote control that should activate a bomb that will destroy the city, a tense moment passes before everyone realizes that it didn’t work, Dark Kat then remembers he didn’t change the batteries in the remote for over ten years. 

Dark Kat:  “BLAST! Should’ve used Energizer!” 

Viper the kung fu tail master! 

Dark Kat gives up his super villain career and gets into World Wrestling Federation. 

The SWAT Kats figure out how to stop Pastmaster…hit him with all the shortie gags they know.

Feral refuses to call chopper back up and tries to get to the bottom of things himself.

T-Bone and Razor go into battle with knives and spoons instead of Glovatrixes. 

The SWAT Kats infiltrate Pumadyne, as they get to the laser beams, all Razor has to do is pass under them while T-Bone has to jump over them, in the end size does matter. 

T-Bone and Razor have a nice night home watching TV with no crisis interrupting their peaceful environment.

Jake accidentally locks himself and Chance out of the hangar. 

Razor explains how they can fit the Cyclotron, the Turbomole, and the Double Cyclotron into the Turbokat along with all the weapons.

Chance tells Jake *everything*

Dark Kat and Feral are long lost cousins.

Manx writes his own speech

The SWAT Kats get sent into a dimension where Dark Kat is a famous ballet dancer; both have nightmares for weeks to come. 

Viper is part of X-Men.

Dark Kat turns out to be Barney the Purple Dinosaur in disguise.

Dark Kat used to be a postal worker before he became a villain

Razor invents shields for the Turbokat. 

Dark Kat gets lost in one of his hideouts because it isn’t adequately lit.

            Viper can’t figure out why his eyes glow, turns out he had spilled a glow in the dark formula into his mutagen, later figures out that he glows in the dark after a ten second exposure to strong ligh

            Callie tying her hair into a ponytail. 

Dark Kat meets Richard Simmons, he is never heard from again. 

Creeplings go on strike and refuse to work for Dark Kat until he starts paying them. 

Jake’s worst fear comes true; he can’t find any free space to modify the Turbokat anymore. 

Turbokat taking off to “1812” or Tchaikovsky’s “Swan Lake”