have some kleenex nearby! This one’s a tear jerker!

the song, Song Instead Of A Kiss is by Alannah Myles

--

Duo was depressed. He was so depressed it showed, which for him was pretty down in the dumps. He stared at Trowa and Quatre sadly, the two completely unaware of his gaze. They were too wrapped up in each other to see what was happening around them. Duo sighed heavily.

It was war. It was hard. He was alone and that hurt. When Quatre and Trowa grovelled in the night for comfort, for arms to hold them when they were cold, for comfort when they had no one else to turn to, they had each other. Duo had no one.

Sure, Heero was a possibility. But Heero was a ‘fuck and forget’ kind of guy. Duo didn’t want that. He wanted to be in love. He wanted to fall head over heels over feet in love. He wanted the fairy tale. He wanted someone who could just sit with him in silence, when no words were needed because just being together was heaven on earth. Heero didn’t love him.

And Wufei was straight as a board, Duo had no interest in women, so Hilde was out of the picture...and Duo didn’t really know anyone else. He sighed again. Being alone sucked.

Quatre noticed duo off to the side, looking as if he didn’t have a friend in the world. Quatre understood. Duo was his best friend. Quatre knew he felt alone. Smiling sadly at his friend, he looked up at Trowa and stood in tiptoe so her could whisper something in his lover’s ear. The taller boy nodded.

That night, while everyone on the ship slept soundly; there was the softest knock on Duo’s door. Duo sat up and wiped his eyes furiously, then turned over his pillow so the tearstains wouldn’t show.

“Who’s there?” He called into the darkness.

“Quatre.” Came the soft reply.

“Q-bert! C‘mon in!” Duo called, but not too loudly. The others wouldn’t appreciate him causing a racket in the middle of the night.

Quatre walked in and closed the door behind himself. He padded barefoot over to Duo and crawled onto the bed. Duo raised an eyebrow. He knew that Quatre was aware of his loneliness. Quatre was the one he confided in when it got to be too much.

“Quatre I aint taking no pity fuck...” he started, but slim pale fingers where placed over his lips.

“Shh...” The Arabian hushed duo, so softly that it was no more then a mere breath of air. He raised a hand and stroked Duo’s face. The American boy melted under the gentle caress and stared at Quatre with huge innocent eyes. Then the blond began to sing. Softly, so quietly in the silence, but to Duo, the words hit him hard, as if they had been blasted in his face like a foghorn. He found tears running down his cheeks. Quatre pulled him into a hug and let Duo cry as he was sung to.

“I can’t give you more then that Duo-kun. But I pray that it is enough for now. When the war is over we’ll all be happy. You wont be alone forever Duo.”

Song
Instead of a touch
Darlin' this is a

Duo stood next to his friend, as the blond laid flowers on Trowa’s grave. It shouldn’t have happened. Trowa shouldn’t have died. Not like that. But he did. The circus had gotten some new animals and while they were training them, one of the elephants had knocked over a pole. The tent had started to collapse. No big deal right? It would be annoying to have to put it back up and get a new pole, but there were worse things. Right? Wrong. The elephant got spooked and charged Quatre who had been watching off to the side. Just as Quatre was about to be trampled, Trowa had been right there, pushing the blonde out of the way and taking the blow himself. He had been crushed.

Quatre stared coldly at the grave. “It was my fault.” He said softly, eyes filling with tears. Duo frowned and kneeled down.

“No it wasn’t. Quatre it wasn’t anybodies fault. Trowa died because he loved you more then anything. Don’t go blaming yourself for his sacrifice. He would want you to try and be happy.” Duo looked the other man in the eyes and then pulled Quatre into his arms. Trying to emanate strength and comfort, he let the heart broken Arab cry into his shoulder. Duo stroked Quatre’s hair and made soft comforting noises. He remembered years ago, when they had been children in the war, when the roles had been switched. Duo crying because he was alone, and Quatre giving comfort.

To all of you who wait so long
And need so much

Duo started to sing softly, no more then a whisper but it was enough. He sang gently to his friend, the same old words that had given him strength so many years ago. Quatre stilled at the song, listening intently. Then he pulled Duo closer and hugged him tightly, shaking with tiny sobs. Duo wrapped his arms around the boy and laid his head against Quatre’s. His soft, low voice never faltering though Quatre's was practically cutting off his air.

“A song is all I can give to you my friend. I know it isn’t much, but I pray that it will be enough for now. You won’t be alone forever. Trowa wouldn’t want that and neither would I. One day...one day you’ll have love again. You’re heart will never forget Trowa, but I know you, and I know your heart is so large you’ll always have room. One day we will all be happy. No one is alone forever. And until then, I’ll always be here. Quatre you can count on me.” Duo pulled back, looking Quatre in the eye. The blond Arabian smiled weakly, wide green-blue eyes filled with tears.

“And you can count on me. Thank-you Duo. You’ll never know how much your words mean to me.”

“Yes I do. Because they meant the world to me when you said them.” Duo took Quatre’s hand in his and held it to his chest. “Quatre you have always been there for me. You taught me not to fear and you taught me that hope and love is always there. Please remember.”

“I remember... Thank-you Duo. I really mean it. ...I’m ready to go now...” Quatre bit his lip and swallowed hard, wiping tears from his eyes. Duo nodded.

Standing, they took one last glance at Trowa’s grave and walked away, down the stone pathway together.

It is for those who like to cling
It is to those, to those I sing
Here is a song instead of a clutch
Instead of a moon
Instead of a soothing touch
In the afternoon