| Draco Malfoy's Summer Vacation By Hello Kitty |
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| Day 1 Narcissa: Wake up, dear. It's noon already! Get up, now! Draco: Leave me alone! Narcissa: Get up or I'll drag you out myself. Then to herself: Oh, then again, the job of dragging Draco out of bed would be too dangerous, because I'm so delicate. I'd hate to ruin my milky complexion with Draco's claw marks... Lucius, overhearing her: Milky complexion my foot! You look like you have dung under your nose! You'd better get rid of that expression, because if I hear ONE MORE wizard remark on me having such an ugly wife, I'll...I'll.... Narcissa as if she hadn't heard him: La de da....oh, where was I? Oh yes, my beautiful complexion...It would be a shame to let Draco ruin it. There's only one thing to do! Winky! Winky: Yes, mistress! Is there anything I can do to help? Narcissa: Yes, Winky. Get Draco out of bed. I don't care how, just do it! Winky: Yes, I will. In Draco's bedroom... Winky: Sir, I is supposed to wake you up! Wake up sir! Draco: Shut up, you little brat! Winky: I is not shutting up! I is a good elf! I is obeying mistress's orders! Draco: Well, obey my orders! LEAVE ME ALONE! Winky: That is an order. Oh no! If I is obeying one order, I is disobeying another! Waaah! No! I is not wanting to wear clothes again! Please master, please, do not let them give me clothes! Please wake up! Draco: I AM awake, thanks to you! Winky: Hmm, mistress said I could get you out of bed any way! I is going to use magic! Draco: Don't you dare! Pulls out wand and turns Winky into a ferret. Oh no, what have I done! I'm not allowed to do magic over the summer! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Hits his head three times with his pillow. An owl lands on his head with a note about underage magic Draco: Now what have I done! I can't even turn you back because I'd be expelled! Daaaaddd!! Narcissa: Have you gotten out of bed yet? I'm coming up, complexion or no complexion! Comes up and sees a white ferret and a suspicious lump under the bedcovers Narcissa: Eek! I hate rodents! Luscious! Lucius mutters to himself: 15 years of marriage and she can't get my name right. Pity, pity, pity...Too afraid to risk your own looks? Well, I'm coming up! Goes up staircase to Draco's room. A ferret? Didn't that Mad-Eye Moody turn Draco into a ferret last year? Memories, memories...falls into a daydream. Narcissa: Hey! That lump is moving! Lucius: Snaps out of daydream. Oh no! It's old Mad-Eye and he came to turn Draco into a ferret! Get him! Directs a stunning spell and the lump, which stops moving. Now we can save our precious son! Turns ferret back into Winky. Winky! Why are you here?!?! Winky: I is obeying orders, master. I is trying to wake Draco up. He is turning me into a ferret! Narcissa: Oh, dear Draco! Where is he? Winky: Points to lump Lucius: Throws off the covers and wakes Draco up. Draco: Now look what you've done! Draco's hair was rainbow colored, so that he looked like a ferret with an extremely bad hair day. Lucius: Oh dear, I must have used the Colurium spell instead of the Stunning Spell! Draco: Is there a cure?!?! Lucius: Er, let me see...Well, we could always cut it! Draco: Daaaaad!?!?!? Narcissa: Luscious, the poor child is terrified! We can't cut his hair! Lucius: DON'T CALL ME THAT! Of course we can cut his hair! Rubs his hands together and looks extremely evil. This'll be fun! Draco: Mommy! Save me! Narcissa: Don't worry, mommy is here to save you from Daddy! Lucius: Well, would you rather leave your hair like that? Draco: Well... Lucius: Then we'll cut it! Mutters something softly Narcissa: What are you doing--- Eeeeeeeekkkkkk!!!!!!! Draco: What?!?! Draco's hair had disappeared, and he was completely bald, but his scalp was still dyed rainbow. Draco: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! Lucius: Oops... Narcissa: Luscious, what have you done? Lucius: Don't call me-- I don't know what I've done. I suppose we'll have to wait for his hair to grow back. Draco: That long!?! How can I face my school friends? It won't grow back by September! Lucius: Luckily, you don't have to see someone until...let me see...tomorrow! Draco: TOMORROW!?!?!?!? Lucius: Well, you see, I was so disappointed in Hogwarts not teaching the Dark Arts that I arranged with Mr. Goyle to bring his son and Vincent for a little summer school! Draco: Nooooooooo!!!!!!!!!! The Next Day... Narcissa: Get out of bed or you know what, Draco! Draco: Okay, okay, okay... In the kitchen... Lucius: I think you'll enjoy this lesson, Draco. I engaged the best Dark Arts teacher in the world. Draco his eyes lighting up: Professor Snape? Lucius: Never! You know, you should stop associating with that man! Draco: Daaaaaaaaaaad, whhhhhhyyy? Narcissa: Isn't it obvious dear? Lucius: It's-- Narcissa: His hair, of course! How could you associate with a guy with hair like that? You're even getting his dandruff! You never would have if you would have stayed away from him! Draco: MOM! Lucius: I meant that he is a filthy, cowardly-- Narcissa: --man with a crooked nose and a constant bad hair day! Lucius: That's not quite what I meant! Narcissa: Of course it is, Luscious! Isn't it nice that we can finish each other's sentences? Lucius: DON'T CALL ME THAT...THAT AWFUL NAME!! Narcissa: You mean Luscious? Lucius: Begins screaming in agony and tries to pull out his hair. The doorbell rings. Winky: I'll get it! I'll get it! I'll get it!! Draco: Okay, okay, okay! I think Dobby was better, at least he wasn't like that! Crabbe and Goyle: Hi! Draco: Grumble... Crabbe: What's with your hair? Draco: Shut up Crabbe: Okay, okay, okay... Lucius: Hey kids! I think you'll enjoy the lesson today! Your teacher is the best Dark Arts teacher of all time! Goyle: Who, Professor Snape? Lucius: NO!! Lord Voldemort, you dimwits! Draco: Uncle Voldie? Lucius: Shut up, he'll hear you! He hates being called that as much as I hate being called...called-- Narcissa: Luscious? Lucius: Yeah! And don't call me that! A cold, high voice: Hello Lucius, my friend! Are my students ready? Lucius: Yes my lord! I'll be at work if you need me! Disapparates Voldemort: Now, students, I will be teaching you the Dark Arts. Draco mumbling: Dark Arts, Shmark Arts! Voldemort: What did you say? Draco: Er...nothing! Voldemort: Very well. Lessons shall begin right now. Any questions? Goyle: What should we call you? Voldemort: Let me see...Lord Voldemort...no, that's too common. Umm, maybe Professor Voldemort! Yes, that has a ring to it. Draco: What about Uncle Voldie? Voldemort: WHAT did you just call me?!?! Draco: Uncle Voldie, of course! Why, don't you like that name? Voldemort: I despise it! How dare you call me that! Draco, under his breath: Well, it has to be better than Luscious... Voldemort: Oh, how I loathe that name! Voldie, Voldie, Voldie! That's all I hear nowadays! The term has no respect! None whatsoever! I almost never hear the name Lord Voldemort anymore. It's just Voldie, Voldie, Voldie! How could they be so cruel? They must know I hate the name! I wish they would call me Lord, or even just plain Voldemort! But nowadays...never! But I remember a time...falls into a daydream. Goyle: What's with him? Draco: You think I know? Crabbe: You always seem to know things at school! Why don't you know now? I want my mommy! She always knows! Goyle: I want my mommy too! Draco: I don't want mine. She's probably in her room thinking of a new name for my dad! Narcissa: Draco, dear, I've got a new name for your father! Draco: Oh no. Then to Crabbe and Goyle: Told you so! Narcissa: Lucky! Draco: Huh? Narcissa: That's his new name! Draco: You're joking. Narcissa: Of course not! Here, I have a plan! Whispers. Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle: Cool! Lucius: Honey, I'm home! Everyone: Hi, Lucky! Lucius: Is that my new name? Everyone: Yup! Lucius: Awww, shucks -- Hey, what's with Voldie? Voldemort: AARRGGHHH! Don't call me that! You know what? I am so sick of you people, I'm leaving! Disappartes. Lucius: What's with Voldie? Voldemort: Apparates. Don't call me that! I think I'll have a fit if anyone calls me that again! Everyone: Whatever you say, Voldie! Voldemort: NEVER SAY THAT WORD! I am leaving for good! And you lose all of your positions! All of them! By the way, Draco, what's with your hair? Draco: Shut up and go, Voldie! Voldemort: Oh, yes, bye, Lucky! Lucky my foot! You aren't lucky now that you lost your job! Evil laughter. Lucius: Shut up and go, Voldie! Voldemort: screams, tries to pull out his hair, and finally disapparates. Everyone: Bye-bye, Voldie! |