Lostandfound7

Title: Lost and Found (Part Seven)
Author: Kat

*****

Obi-Wan wandered across the rocky ground outside the ship, keeping a watch on his surroundings but not really expecting anything to come of it. They had been here for two nights now, taking it in turns to keep watch while the other either worked or rested, and had not seen hide nor hair of anything except a few small mountain creatures which were far more afraid of them than vice versa.

They had been lucky in that the damage to the ship had been repairable with what they had. If they had needed replacement parts they would really have been in trouble. As it was, the repairs were progressing smoothly, and Qui-Gon had said this morning that he thought they might be ready to leave by tonight if all went well. It would depend on how fast they could get the last of the repairs done, but having the droid around was making it far easier than it might have been.

It was Obi-Wan's turn for watch again, and he was planning to climb a bit further up the peak. After the first day he had started making forays away from the small clearing where they had landed, up through the craggy rock that led up towards the summit. They were only about halfway up the peak, so he had no intention of actually trying to get to the summit, but it gave him something to do, as well as providing a better vantage point should anyone come calling.

His injuries were healing, slowly. His back was no longer as painful and the scrapes and bruises he had picked up during their escape didn't bother him unduly. In fact, physically he was all right. Emotionally, however, he felt utterly lost.

He had his freedom back, as Qui-Gon had pointed out to him. But what did that mean, really? His dreams of becoming a Jedi Knight had already been taken away from him. He didn't even know what would happen when they got back to the Temple. Would they just pack him off back to the Agri-Corps? Very likely. What else was there to do with a failed Jedi hopeful, after all?

He sighed heavily, pushing the thought from his mind. /Don't think about the future,/ he told himself firmly. /Just...don't think about it./

It was something he had become quite adept at during the last four months. Thinking about the future would only have sent him deeper into despair, so he had tried not to let himself do it. Instead, he had allowed himself to sink into a kind of numbness which insulated him from feeling too much. Right now, he was very grateful for that numbness. It allowed him to take all the misery of what he had been through in the last four months, and just ball it up in a little corner of his head where he didn't have to touch it.

/There is no emotion, there is peace,/ he thought sadly. /It doesn't feel very peaceful, though./

He continued to climb, cursing the fact that he didn't have boots, which would have made it a lot easier. Sandals were just not made for mountain climbing. However, it was either that or go barefoot, and the rocks were sharp.
Some fifteen minutes and a stubbed toe later, he was situated on a crag of rock that projected out over the side of the peak, looking down over a sheer drop of dizzying height. Below and to his left, he could see the rocky clearing where they had landed, Qui-Gon's battered ship squarely in the center. He leaned out over the drop, feeling the wind in his face and shivering slightly in the chill air. He wasn't really dressed for mountain climbing, even with the jacket Qui-Gon had given him. However, now that he could touch the Force again, he was able to use it to regulate his body temperature, so the cold didn't bother him too much.

At least he had the Force again, he reminded himself. Being deprived of his connection with it had been almost painful, and the continual disappointment whenever he automatically tried to grasp it and found that he couldn't had just made it worse. The feeling when Qui-Gon had removed the collar and he had been able to fully touch the Force again had been wonderful, like a balm to his wounded spirit. Right now, it felt like the only thing he had to hold on to.

He looked down over the side of the peak, watching idly as several small mammals streaked nimbly away across the rocks below him. Suddenly a movement lower down caught his attention, and his eyes narrowed as he tried to make out what it was. He was sure he had seen something, down below the clearing where the ship was and off to the left, but whatever it was seemed to have vanished again. He stood motionless, watching intently, waiting to see if it would make another appearance.

There! A figure was moving among the rocks, heading up the side of the peak in the general direction of the clearing they had landed in. He strained his eyes, trying to see it more closely, but it was weaving in between the rocks and was all but hidden from sight. Obi-Wan watched as it crept along, catching brief glimpses of what looked like a humanoid figure wearing black.

The figure suddenly came out from behind the shelter of a large rock into a more open area, and Obi-Wan's heart went cold.

It was Gatt.

/It can't be!/ Obi-Wan thought frantically, stunned. /*How*?/

The answer came to him a moment later. /That last fighter. Gatt must have piloting. All I did was clip him, he probably went down nearby. He would have seen the smoke from our ship...and if he had his tracking device on him he was probably close enough to track my collar...oh, Force. Qui-Gon./

Qui-Gon was in the ship, working on the repairs.

And Gatt would be armed.

Shoving back the surge of terror he felt at the thought, Obi-Wan began to run, haring back down the side of the peak towards the clearing, scrambling over the rocks as fast as he could go. /Qui-Gon's a Jedi Master,/ he thought desperately. /Gatt won't catch him unawares, he's too well-trained for that.../

But Qui-Gon was tired and stressed, just like Obi-Wan was, and even a Jedi Master was still human. Even if Gatt only surprised him for a moment, that could be enough.

Obi-Wan tried to move faster, cursing as one sandal caught on some loose rock. With a snarl, he reached down and ripped both of them off, tossing them aside. He was going to cut his feet to ribbons, but at least he could *move*.
He scrambled down over a jagged boulder onto a flatter stretch of ground, a long shelf about ten meters above the edge of the clearing. To his horror, he saw Gatt just coming up over the edge to his left, a blaster clutched tightly in his hand. There was no sign of movement in the ship; Qui-Gon would be inside, unaware of Gatt's approach.

Gatt was approaching the ship now; he had circled around it and was heading for the open ramp, which faced out to Obi-Wan's right. Obi-Wan could see the man's hand clenching convulsively around the handle of his blaster, and when he caught a glimpse of Gatt's face, the madness there was enough to make him shudder. Gatt wanted revenge, pure and simple, and he would not stop until he got it.

For a brief moment, all of Obi-Wan's instincts screamed at him to run; run right back up into the mountains and keep running until he left Gatt far behind him. He had been trained all his life to resist fear, but Gatt had frightened him. The man's madness and brutality had broken him down to a shadow of his former self and he wanted nothing more than to get as far away from him as possible.

But...there was Qui-Gon.

Qui-Gon had rejected him, yes. He had killed Obi-Wan's dreams of becoming a Jedi Knight deader than a Tatooine cactus on Hoth. But Qui-Gon had also saved him just when he had given up all hope of being saved, he had given up the chance of completing his mission to rescue Obi-Wan from Gatt, and Obi-Wan could not just turn and walk away if Qui-Gon was in danger.

Besides, despite all that had happened, he still looked up to Qui-Gon with something close to worship. That would never change. And he'd be damned if he was letting Gatt take anything else away from him.

All those thoughts flashed through his mind in mere seconds, and before Obi-Wan even had time to plan what he was going to do, he was sprinting along the shelf of ground towards the edge, calling on the Force to increase his momentum.

He reached the edge of the shelf and flung himself forward with a Force-aided leap, out over the clearing, straight at Gatt. The man must have sensed something, because he turned at the last minute, and Obi-Wan caught a quick glimpse of Gatt's shocked look as he collided with him with the force of a small torpedo.

The pair of them went flying, entangled with each other, rolling over and over towards the lip of the clearing. Before either of them could do anything to halt their progress, they had tumbled over the edge and were rolling down the steep hill in a tangle of arms and legs.

Rocks dug painfully into Obi-Wan's flesh as he struggled to keep a hold on Gatt, not wanting to give the man any distance to allow him to use his blaster. He had managed to get Gatt's right arm pinned between them, the blaster pointing straight down, and he was holding on for dear life, hoping that Gatt would not dare fire in case he accidentally blew his own foot off.

They hit a large rock with a sickening jolt, and Obi-Wan lost his grip on Gatt and went tumbling sideways. He rolled head over heels down a last stretch of slope and plunged over another lip, falling nearly two meters to the ledge below. He managed to land correctly and roll, but the impact was enough to knock the wind out of him and he lay there for long moments, face pressed against the rock, wheezing painfully as he struggled to draw breath.

A hand suddenly grabbed the back of his jacket and wrenched him up, spinning him around, and he found himself nose to nose with Gatt. Obi-Wan stumbled backwards reflexively, his eyes fixed on the man before him.

Gatt's face was bruised and bloody, but he seemed relatively uninjured by their tumble down the mountain. His eyes were wild; no trace of reason left in them, and his teeth were bared in a savage grin of triumph as he bore down on Obi-Wan. Still struggling to breathe, Obi-Wan could only watch helplessly as Gatt raised a hand and hit him savagely across the face.

The blow was hard enough to send him flying, and he tumbled backwards, landing heavily on the ground. A shower of sparks arced across his vision as the back of his head connected solidly with a rock. A moment later the pain followed, nauseating in its intensity, and Obi-Wan couldn't hold back a cry.

Vision blurring, gasping for breath, Obi-Wan struggled to focus. He looked up muzzily and saw Gatt looming over him, his blaster drawn, grinning madly.

/This is it,/ Obi-Wan thought dully through a red haze of pain. /This is how it ends./
The last thing he heard before blackness overcame him was the faint crackling hum of a lightsaber...then silence.

*****

Qui-Gon stood, panting, wiping the sweat from his forehead as he stared down at Gatt's body. He had emerged from the ship just in time to see Obi-Wan and Gatt tumble over the edge, and had raced to the boy's aid. He couldn't use Force-speed on the unsteady ground and so had been forced to rely on his own speed to reach them, and had arrived just in time to stop Gatt from blowing Obi-Wan's head off. He had struck from behind, a killing blow, and Gatt had collapsed without even getting off a shot. Qui-Gon doubted he even knew what had hit him.

He looked down at Obi-Wan, who was sprawled on the ground, unconscious. He was covered in cuts and bruises and blood was dripping from his nose and a gash on his forehead, turning his face into a grisly mask. Qui-Gon knelt beside the boy, using the Force to scan for injuries, dreading what he might find.

A few minutes later he let out his breath in relief. Obi-Wan was injured, certainly, but there was nothing there that was life-threatening. Cracked ribs, a fractured tibia, a nasty concussion and more cuts and bruises than Qui-Gon cared to count, but he was going to live. The relief Qui-Gon felt at realizing that left him almost dizzy. To lose Obi-Wan now, after all that had happened...he would never have forgiven himself.

/I would die to keep him safe,/ Qui-Gon thought with faint amazement. /When did he become that important to me? When did I begin to care so much?/

Gently, not wanting to aggravate the injuries further, Qui-Gon lifted the unconscious boy into his arms, cradling Obi-Wan's head against his chest. He could feel the lump rising on the back of Obi-Wan's skull and winced. The boy was going to have the headache to end all headaches when he woke up.

Leaving Gatt where he was, Qui-Gon started back up the slope towards the ship, carrying Obi-Wan with him.

*****

The first thing Obi-Wan was aware of was that the light was much too bright.

He opened his eyes just a crack, winced as the light seared them and squeezed them shut again, trying to put a hand over his face to shield himself from the glare. Pain flared along his arm and he groaned, aborting the movement. His head throbbed fiercely, making coherent thought difficult. Was he dead? He had thought that he must be, but he hadn't thought that it would hurt quite this much.

A large hand rested on his forehead, and he started, trying to shake it off. "Easy, Obi-Wan," a deep voice said gently. "Just take it easy. You've had enough excitement for one day."

Obi-Wan opened his eyes again, blinking rapidly against the brightness, and saw Qui-Gon standing over him. Memory returned in a rush, and he sat bolt upright before Qui-Gon could restrain him, gasping at the pain in his ribs.

"Whoa, easy," Qui-Gon said, trying to push him back down, but Obi-Wan struggled against his hold, looking up at him urgently.

"Gatt's here," he said frantically. "He's here, he's outside - "

"I know," Qui-Gon said, cutting him off. "I took care of him. It's all right."

"You mean - you mean he's - ?"

"He's dead." Qui-Gon looked down at him, his gaze compassionate. "He can't hurt you anymore, Obi-Wan."

Obi-Wan stared at him, his eyes wide, disbelieving. Gatt was dead? Could it be?
He saw the truth in Qui-Gon's calm gaze, dispelling his doubts. It was true. Gatt was gone.

The realization sank in slowly, as Obi-Wan struggled to comprehend the enormity of what had happened. Then, to his own absolute horror, he burst into tears.

He tried to fight them back, mortified at his loss of control, but was immediately gathered into a firm embrace as Qui-Gon pulled him gently against his broad chest, speaking to him in a low, soothing voice. "Shh, Obi-Wan, it's all right. You're safe now. He can never hurt you again. Never again, I promise. I promise, Padawan."

Padawan?

Obi-Wan drew in a sharp breath as he realized what Qui-Gon had said, and heard Qui-Gon doing the same. He pulled back from the embrace and stared up at Qui-Gon in disbelief, his face streaked with tears. "What did you call me?"

Qui-Gon looked almost as surprised as he did, but then a slow smile spread across his face. "Padawan," he said, almost marveling. He looked deeply into Obi-Wan's eyes, suddenly serious again. "Obi-Wan, I did you a grave disservice by refusing to take you as my Padawan on Bandomeer. We had already formed a bond. The Force was guiding me to become your Master, but I fought what I knew was right, because I was afraid."

"Afraid?" Obi-Wan echoed, surprised.

"Yes, afraid. Afraid of losing you the way I lost Xanatos, of failing a second time. My fear has led to your suffering, and for that, I beg your forgiveness."

Obi-Wan bowed his head. "I forgive you, Qui-Gon," he said quietly. "How could I not? You saved me."

"And you have saved me, Obi-Wan. And if you truly can forgive a blind, foolish man for the wrong he has done you...then I would be honored, beyond measure, to accept you as my Padawan."

Obi-Wan looked up at him, his eyes still bright with tears. "But you can't take me as a Padawan. I'm too old."
"By eight months? Pah." Qui-Gon waved a hand dismisdively. "Eight months is nothing. I'll work you extra hard to make up the time."

Obi-Wan continued to stare at him, his confusion evident. "But - but - you didn't want me. You - you were afraid I'd turn."

"*My* fear, Obi-Wan, brought on by my own insecurities, not by anything you had done." Qui-Gon took Obi-Wan's chin in his hand, tilting his face up. "Obi-Wan, do you still want to be a Jedi Knight?"

Obi-Wan gaped at him for a long moment, hardly able to believe his ears. Qui-Gon was seriously offering to take him as his Padawan? Offering him the chance to become a Jedi Knight, as he had always dreamed of doing?

But was he offering because he truly thought Obi-Wan would be a good Jedi, or out of pity? He would not take charity, not even to fulfill his dream.

"It is not pity, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said, startling him. "I have fought against the will of the Force long enough. You are meant to be my Padawan, and the bond we already share proves that. How else could your thoughts be so open to me? How else could I have sensed the danger you were in so readily? See the truth of what I'm saying, Obi-Wan, and answer me from your heart. Do you still want to be a Jedi Knight?"

Obi-Wan hardly knew how to answer. Of *course* he still wanted to be a Jedi Knight. That was all he had *ever* wanted. But could he become Qui-Gon's Padawan, now, after all that had happened? Was he worthy of it? Or was he still too angry, too uncertain? Was he too damaged, after having been a slave? What if he couldn't do it? What if he disappointed Qui-Gon? What if, what if?

He breathed deeply, trying to calm himself, pulling his spiraling thoughts back into some semblance of order. Closing his eyes, he opened himself to the Force, letting the comforting wave of it break over him.

/I must trust in the Force./

That was what he had been taught for as long as he could remember. Trust in the Force, and you will find the answers you need, his teachers had said. Trust in the Force, and it will provide.
Taking a deep breath, Obi-Wan opened his mouth to speak, not even really knowing what he was going to say, just reaching out to the Force for guidance and deciding to let it and his heart speak for him. Surely the Force would guide him to the right path.

"Yes," he heard himself say. "Oh, yes."

He heard Qui-Gon let his breath out in a sigh of relief. "And will you accept me as your Master?"

"Yes, I will. Gladly, Master." He couldn't hold back the tears now, even as his face split in an unsteady grin, and he was startled to look up and see tears in Qui-Gon's eyes as well. A moment later he had been pulled into another hug, Qui-Gon holding him tightly and cradling Obi-Wan's head against his chest. Obi-Wan winced as Qui-Gon's fingers brushed against the lump on the back of his head, and Qui-Gon released him, looking chagrined.

"I'm sorry, Padawan. How bad is that?"

"It hurts," Obi-Wan said, still smiling, his heart lighter than he had ever thought possible. "But right now I don't care."

"Well, I do. I'll see if I can make it a bit better. Hold on." Qui-Gon pressed a hand to Obi-Wan's forehead, and Obi-Wan felt a sudden stirring in the Force. The pain in his head eased slightly, and he sighed in relief.

"Thank you...Master," he said, shyly, trying out the title.

"You're most welcome, Padawan," Qui-Gon replied, smiling at him. "You took a fair knock. You were a bitof a mess when I brought you back here."

Obi-Wan grimaced, looking down at himself. "It feels like it. Everything hurts. What's the damage like?"

"Better now that I've seen to the worst of it, but you're going to be very sore for a while. You had three cracked ribs and a fracture in your arm, and by the look of that lump you were lucky you didn't crack your skull open as well."

"I hit it on a rock," Obi-Wan said. "When I fell."

"The way you went down that slope, you're lucky you didn't do a lot worse. You had a nasty concussion, but I've taken care of that, and the broken bones. The rest is just surface damage, cuts and bruises, although as I said, you're going to be sore. Your feet are a mess. What happened to your shoes, by the way?"

"I took them off. Couldn't run fast enough. I saw Gatt from further up and had to run back."

Qui-Gon shook his head fondly. "Stubborn boy. I felt your distress through the Force. I came out just in time to see you and Gatt go over the edge. It was a dangerous thing you did, Obi-Wan. You could have been killed."

"I know," Obi-Wan said, ducking his head. "But I...I was worried about you. I knew you were tired, and if Gatt had surprised you..." His voice trailed off, and he looked up at Qui-Gon, half-expecting a reprimand.

But Qui-Gon just smiled at him, putting one hand on his shoulder. "Thank you for your concern, Padawan. I am grateful. But in the future, I would like it if you would think a little more of your own safety, too."

"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan said automatically, then fell silent, hardly able to comprehend the sudden changes in his life. 'In the future', Qui-Gon had said. Three days ago he had been a failed Jedi hopeful turned slave, beaten into submission and lost in such a mire of despair that he had thought he would never find his way out. Now, he was a Jedi Padawan with a Master, and a future. It was almost unbelievable. If it hadn't been for the pain he was in, he might have thought it was all just a dream.

"Are you all right, Obi-Wan?" Qui-Gon asked, looking concerned.

"Yes," Obi-Wan replied, feeling a little dazed. "I think so. It's just...it's all happened so fast." He grimaced. "I know it's silly, but I feel like I've been left behind by my own life."

"I know the feeling, Padawan," Qui-Gon said softly, "and it's not silly. It's happened fast for me, too. But I feel the rightness of this path. And together, we can help each other through until we both get used to things."

"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan said, smiling. "I'd like that. I feel that this is the right path, too. It's just...I almost can't believe it, I guess." His eyes went unfocused for a moment, lost in memory. "I was so close to giving up hope..."

"Well, I think there is a lesson for all of us here, my Padawan," Qui-Gon said gently. "No matter how dark things appear, how hopeless, we must never give up."
"Yes, Master," Obi-Wan said obediently, and caught Qui-Gon's eye. Both of them smiled, and Qui-Gon reached out to ruffle Obi-Wan's hair fondly.

"But now, Padawan, I think you should get some rest," he said. "We will have plenty of time to talk later. In the meantime, I have some repairs to finish, and then we can be on our way home. I'm sure the Council will be most interested to hear about what's been going on."

"The Council..." Obi-Wan breathed, suddenly alarmed. "Master...will they disapprove? Of you taking me as Padawan? What if they don't allow it?"

"The Council would not be so foolish as to try to fight the will of the Force, Padawan," Qui-Gon said calmly. "In fact, I believe one member of the Council in particular will be extremely pleased. Master Yoda was quite unhappy to lose you as a student. Fear not, Obi-Wan, they will approve."

"You think so, Master?"

"I know so, Padawan. Now get some rest. I'll come and wake you when we're ready to leave."

"Yes, Master." Obi-Wan lay back down on the bed, and Qui-Gon pulled a blanket up over him.

"Sleep well, Padawan. You need your rest. When we get back to Coruscant we're going to have a great deal to do, starting with making you a new lightsaber. It's going to be hard for you to spar without one."

Obi-Wan felt his face split in a huge grin. A lightsaber! His own lightsaber, again! How he had missed it!

"I can't wait, Master," he said happily, and Qui-Gon smiled.

"Rest now, Padawan," he said, flicking the lights down to low, and Obi-Wan nodded obediently. He listened to Qui-Gon's receding footsteps as his Master left the room, and lay gazing at the ceiling until he finally fell asleep, thinking dreamily of a future that would, he hoped, be as full of light as his heart.

***End***