Thought No1. Well, since it's a new section, just let me talk about my purpose of making this page. I just want to share some of my thoughts with others, and also hopefully I can understand others' thoughts better. And the headline "my thoughts..." is the first banner I made by myself for this website. The idea of this banner is not new, but the point is I made it by myself, and this is a improvement. Okayz, since I should talk about my thoughts here in this page, let me get start! The thought I want to talk here is about friendship. Yar, this is a really big topic, and I can talk alot about it (Unless I dun wan to tok about it). For me, it's very important  though sometimes I like to say: without it I won't die. Obviously it's not true at aLL. I just trying to pretend that I don't care OR I don't want to get closer to someone. It's all because that I am afraid of Lose them once I got them. I have went though the period of losing the a very important friendship. I guess aLL of us had experienced that before.  Well, for me, I think when the time you come to really think that he/she is your real friend, you will rise your standard of friendship of she/him. When I really care about her, I will very care about the small mistakes she made, I will just may get angry over the small mistake, all becoz I CARE. It's strange, when I not yet think that she is my friend, when she made mistakes, I wil just say: okie, never mind. But, if she is my friend, I will say: well, how can you do this. I don't understand myself, but that is true. So, recently..I was thinking that am I that bad till ruizhen going to hate me forever, everytime I dream about she become my friend, well..that's unrealistic, but the feeling of being her friend is so great. I guess that will only occur in my dream. This final exam, I know I did not do well, actually, I did so badly. Well, so, I don't think I can make it to my selected class. And will not have a chance to go into the same class as ruizhen. That is all my fault.....all my fault...I did not even grab the very last chance to be with her..I hate myself..... :< Everytime I look at the conversation between her and Alicia and weijie, I feel glad and hope that I am the one talking to her. But soon, I will not even get to read anymore this conversation, coz Alicia said that she is not going to talk to her anymore, and weijie, I don't want to ask him to do it.Really, it's not their duty to do it for me, i am the one who want to talk to her. Sorry to myself, though I tried hard, but I lose at last. SOrry...... if heaven knows the pains I got. then just let her be happy, and don't sick anymore. Well, I will still be her one-sided virtual friend in my dream. MeiQin 20-10-00