Memories of Jimmy

When a new student enters a new school, he becomes a display…Everyone wants to get to know him. If they are not "popular" they become part of a "clique"..However if they are not..they face the pain and humiliation of the "pecking party"..in other words everyone would attach themselves to that person until they get to know them..picking everything they can of him..then turning their back when they realize the person doesn’t conform to the ways set by them.

I remember once long ago in 3rd grade gym class, while picking teams for our dodge ball game, the teacher announced that a new student would be comming to our class and needs a team. The very fist questions out of the mouth was "Is he any good?" I knew that this school would be murder for him..if he wasn’t popular.

The next day when he walked in,,,it was trouble. He was chubby, but not fat…but a big boy with short black hair and fair skin…his name was James. The class basically said their hello’s and left him alone..the only things they regreted was picking him on their team..for it was obvious he didn’t belong… As the days passed he became just another spot on the wall. He had no friends, no one to talk to,,,NOTHING. I really didnt know anything about him until "it" happened. After that we became friends for life.

My mother was driving me to school..when I witenessed something that never happened before..an ambulance was in front of the school, blaring away with two cops cares they quickly they sped away to the hospital down the road. Never before has anything like this ever happen in the school..everyone wanted to know what was going on…so had to go straight to the sorce..Matthew…Even thought he was a bully, if you ever needed any information, he was the one to ask. He said that the new kid "had some type of amethyst attack..and they took him away to be gassed up"..as funny as that may seem..i thought this was unbelievable..At that time I didnt know what amethyst was..and didnt quite understand why one would go to a hospital rather then a gas station to be filled up..*giggles*..but now I know that it was asthma he really had..but when no one else in the school ironically had asthma..he being the only kid..that was big news.

When he did return everyone left him alone even more..they thought he was some type of alien life form or something…especially when word got around that he is being "gassed up". They thought he was a ticking time bomb about to go off…I of course curious m..had to at least know what happen as well as I felt sorry for him…At least all I had to do was talk to him once then I could leave him alone just like the rest.

Going up to him for the very first time was weird..How was I supposed to talk to someone who just went throught a terrible ordeal and could have died….So I didnt what any normal person would do..i went up to him and introduced myself and asked what actually happened?..He was a little reluctant to answer at first but when he realized I was sincere he told me all about asthma and what happen to him..I felt so sorry for hmi..i couldnt imagine what it was like to have an asthma attack until ironically I had a bronchitis asthma attack a year later.

At first I could admit I only did talk to him because I felt sorry for him and because no one else would talk to him..but as that days passed on I got to really know him and like him. I introduced him to my "clique"..which was something speacial…our circle was not made up of "popular preps" but unique individuals who can truly have fun and be normal..He was a hit in our circle especially with our friend Shafiq..Shafiqw was one of three males in this circle and he and Jimmy hit it off completely.

We were all friends..every day we would go outside during recess and play our little games..Jimmy even introduced us to new games we have never heard of..This including a little dabbling in black majic..in which after a certain bloody incident occurred we never did it again….we did play our version of "truth or dare" and "boys chase girls" We spent our whole recess together as long as "monkey-face" the aid didnt wall us, which she loved to do.

In fourth grade when the new year started, it turned out Jimmy had a knack for singing…All of us in our circle was involved in the choir, so we asked him to join..of course he didnt refuse..He even got picked to do a solo later that year with the rest of our male entourage. It was a Latin song that forever became the focal point of laughter entitled Pones Angelicus. Everyone hated it, but I have to admit the final performance of it was made was truly a beautiful song..even if I hear it today..the beauty, misery, and dynamics of the song can bring anyone to tears. I guess the reason everyone truly hated it was the face they actually loved it..but what kid in there right mind would ever admit to loving a classical song especially one in Latin? Fourth grad over all was a specially year..it was the year we all became older..we didnt have to take the stupid yelow bus anymore and we could prouldy WALK to school!..Of course all our parents drove us to school..but we walked home together..*smiles*..School at that time ended 2:00 we didnt get home till about 3:00-4:00. We spent hours in the park..loving to torment the ducks, scientifically evaluate what all that green sludge was in the water, and hang around having good quality time. We spent every day in that park..until eight grade..and we were a band of friends..that had the strongest relationship that I could ever admit friends can truly have…and we had it..

As time passed Jimmy and I became more then just friends..he became my first boyfriend…I remember the first time he asked me out..it was in fifth grade..he invited me to a restaurant which was the "place to be" at that time…it was an old fashioned soda jerk/ice scream parlor place. That was my first date..He was so gentlemanly and courteous..we shared everything..*smiles*..It was true love. From that point on we did everything togetherl He became part of the family..my family..he was my brother, my friend, my lover. The family and I took him everywhere we went, movies, parties, amusement parks, anywhere we went, he went.

Surprisingly even the family knew each other in a weird coincidence. My father..and Jimmies step-father both belonged to the same organization..and AA it was..Alcholics Anonymous.. But when the group anniversary came around, I was shocked to see that Jimmy was there at the party..wasnt even expecting it..never new it. It was the best party I ever went to..we danced the entire night away…*smiles*..It was even the night of my first kiss. We went outside after the party..in the fridgid cold of the winter..taking a breather from all that smoking they do.and we sat down staring at each other..and finally in a spurt he quickly leaned over..placing his lips on mine…sure it was a short quick kiss.even a peck..but bear in mind we were only 11 years old or so…and although some kids do have sex that young..we were both brought up with strict religious morals.and even kissing as such was a sin…but I will never forget that one lone kiss..short, sweet, and caused a girl to blush the entire night.

Time went by and we were the happiest couple on earth. We did absolutly everything together....i remember one day like it was yesturday..my friends and I were hanging out at 7:30am in the morning like we usually do on the floor in the hall way waiting for the bell to ring. I was a little upset being I had a fight with Jimmy the day before..how could I be upset with him..but we did fight..and he stormed off with the words " you will always be alone and miserable"…well having the thought of the fight on my mind..was a little upset..but Shafiq came in with a blank shocked look on his face. We asked him what the hell was wrong with him..He said.."I dont know if this is true..but its Jimmy…….He is dead"..Thhis couldnt be true, no one could confirm it..So Shafiq went right to the source..he called up Jimmy’s mother…While Shafiq was on the phone we all crowded around him..to see what was going on….At that point Shafiq collapsed to the floor..it was like his knees gave out from under him..have never truly seen one collapse such as that..He just broke down into a hysterical fit saying it was true. Honestly I cant describe the feelings I felt at that point..It was like I was struck by a bullet in the chest. I didnt believe it. How can he die. He was only 14 years old. That day I wandered around the school like a zombie, contemplating everything..but yet I didnt cry..My friends we all sobbing and crying but me. Me the only one who truly loved him was not. To this day I have no idea what made me so heartless..but it took a long time to finally accept his death and grieve for him.

His death was a tragedy. He was suffering from appendicitis, when he was rushed to the hospital for an ammergency appendectomy it turns out he was allergic to the anesthetic they gave him. He had a massive asthma attack and died right there on the operating table.. The sugery was not threatening for his appendix did not burst..but because of the anesthetic..he died..and to think his final words to me was "you will always be alone and miserable" ironic isnt it. Jimmy was indeed a special friend to me..His death was tragic but I’ve come to accept it..we all die and that is basically our future..sure it may hurt, and have a profound effect on everyone..but To look at the positive Jimmy will always be in my heart forever the lovable, cute, little boy, whom I truly loved for 7 years of my life.

This story was actually written as a college assignment in English..to pick a moment in your life and reflect upon it. Well of course a girl received an F on it..for not only horrible grammer, punctuation and sentence structure..but for the fact she used her "street way" of talk..what can a girl say..she is a New Yorker..and writing a paper as personal and tragic as this..in the middle of cow-country Pennsylvania it didnt work. The point a girl is trying to make here..is indeed this is a personal tragic work..it took a lot to write this paper the first time..and ironically took a lot of work just to copy it for the purpose of the web site. But feels she needs to share this..for no one is perfect..and to think..she wrote this a few months before she met AJ..and had a wonderful 14 month relationship with him that couldnt be..found love once again in her life..and he is gone as well…everyone goes away..

as a quick aside..Master if you do ever get to read this..hope you understand why a girl is troubled about abandonment. For in a sense..she was always abandoned by those she truly loved.

Thank you everyone for if you read this far in this long tale..*smiles*..have to give you credit for that..but if she may say..this was the first time she ever did truly open up her feelings..although this paper was written 2 years ago. It does show the beginning of a long change in her life.

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