Love of the Past

by Denise Gagne

Captain Gregg was sitting in his cabin looking over his list of supplies he had just taken aboard his ship. Everything seemed in order and he tossed the ledger onto the desk. Tomorrow, he would start out for home. It had been such a long time, almost a year. It would not be easy, but he had to return some time.

He had sent word ahead to his housekeeper that he would be returning. She was to pack away anything she found that would remind him of Vanessa. The trousseau, the shawl, everything was to be packed into a trunk and placed in the attic. Locked away, where he wouldn't have to be reminded of her. Not that it could take all the pain away. After all, he had built Gull Cottage to be their home. He had purchased the finest materials for the construction. People came from miles around to see the beauty of this home. Now, it stood as a monument to his life.

The rooms, built to hold his love and someday, a family, held nothing but emptiness. Still, it was his home. He had to return.

Carolyn Muir sat at her desk checking her list to be sure there was nothing she had forgotten to pack. Not that there was much she still owned. Since her husband's death two years earlier, Carolyn had needed to sell of bits and pieces of her furniture, jewelry and whatever she had that wasn't a necessity.

She tried desperately to keep her home without having to ask for help from her in-laws. They were wonderful people, but they had always interfered in her life, trying to tell her what to do. When she finally had to give up her house, she reluctantly moved herself, her two children and housekeeper into Ralph and Marjorie Muir's home. The past year had been quite stressful, with Ralph always telling Carolyn how to do things, how to raise the children and what she should do with her life. But now, she had had enough. Carolyn had written to her uncle Claymore, who lived in Schooner Bay, Maine, asking for a position working in his loan office. She hadn't seen her mother's brother since she was a child, but she remembered him as a kind, generous man. He wrote a brief note back that she could come and work for him. There was a small house in town that she could live with the children, for a reasonable price. With that done, she made preparations for their journey.

Although the Muirs protested, Carolyn finally convinced them the move would be the best for all of them. Carolyn took the rest of her savings and booked passage aboard a ship called "The Raven". It was set to sail from Philadelphia the following morning. The children were very excited over the prospect of sailing on a large ship. They were sad they were leaving their grandparents, but Carolyn assured them they would visit whenever they could.

The next morning was bright and sunny as Captain Gregg stood on the deck of his ship overseeing last minute preparations for sailing. Mr. Jenkins approached and told him that everything was ready, but the passengers had not yet arrived. "Blast! I knew it was a mistake to take women aboard this ship. They are never on time for anything. Mr. Jenkins, we will wait only a few minutes and then we set sail, whether they are here or not. I don't care if they have paid their fare or not. I will not have my schedule changed."

"Aye, sir!" Jenkins nodded and headed towards the bow. Captain Gregg leaned over the rail and saw a carriage coming up to the dock area. A stocky older man, was the first out of the carriage. He helped an older woman down the step, followed by two small children, a boy and a girl. "Finally!" he thought to himself,"We will be off on time."

The Captain stood up straight and was about to turn away when he saw Carolyn exit the coach. He leaned back over the rail, staring at the vision before him. She was enchanting! One of the crewmen standing close by to the Captain made a remark about wanting to get to know her better. The Captain turned and scowled at the man. The poor crewman bowed his head and headed to the opposite end of the ship.

The Captain watched as the little group bid each other farewell, and then they walked up the gangplank to the deck. He went over to greet them. He helped Martha onto the deck, then picked up Candy and Jonathan one at a time, placing them down beside Martha. He next turned to take Carolyn's hand. He was caught quite off guard by the beauty of her green eyes.

"Madame, if I may be of assistance?" he stared intensely at her.

Carolyn thought she had never seen such a magnificent-looking man before. Such deep blue eyes! She quickly regained control and gave him a warm smile.

"Thank you so much, sir. I am Carolyn Muir. This is my dear friend and helper, Martha Grant. And these are my children, Candace and Jonathan."

With that introduction, Candy and Jonathan gave a perfect little curtsy and bow. The Captain's next remark took Carolyn completely off guard. "Madame, you should have been here earlier. We have a tide to catch. I suggest you and your brood should set your gear in your cabin, so we may be on our way. Mr. Reilly will show you to your cabin." and with a nod he was gone.

"My goodness," said Martha, "he certainly doesn't act as nice as he looks!"

Carolyn was watching the Captain walk away. 'Hmm..' she thought to herself,'I wonder what the matter with him.'

"Children...Martha I think we should find our cabin."

They followed Mr. Reilly and quickly unpacked their belongings. Jonathan and Candy sat quietly on the bunk. "Mother...may we go up on deck to watch the crew hoist the sails?" Candy asked.

Carolyn looked at the both of them. "Well, I guess it would be all right. Just be sure to stay out of the way. Don't forget, the crew has a lot of work to do. Don't be a nuisance."

The children looked at each other and smiled. "Yes, Mother! We'll be good!" Then they ran from the cabin.

Once up on deck, the children ran over to the rail and looked out to see Philadelphia growing smaller in the distance. The crewmen were all over the deck getting the ropes ready to raise the main sails.

Jonathan decided they needed some help. He ran between two seamen causing one of them to trip. When he turned to see what had happened, the boy got tangled in a rope lying on the deck. Jonathan started to yell for help and the Captain came running over to see what was happening. Carolyn was just coming out on to the deck, when she spotted Jonathan's predicament. Captain Gregg was the first to get to the boy and released him from the rope. He turned and handed the boy to his mother. Candy came running over to stand beside her mother too.

"Madame, if I might have a word with you?" he growled. Carolyn nodded and told Jonathan and Candy to return to the cabin and stay with Martha.

"Yes, Captain...Captain?" she questioned.

"Gregg! Captain Daniel Gregg, Madame!"

"Captain Gregg, what did you wish to speak to me about?" she tried to act nonchalant. "Madame, might I suggest that you keep a closer watch on these 'brats' of yours!"

"Brats! How dare you..."

"Oh, rest assured, CAPTAIN! You won't even know that we are on board!"

"You know, Madame...perhaps if their father gave them a good talking to..."

That was the last straw. Carolyn's face filled with rage. "Enough! You have gone too far. You may be 'captain' of this vessel, but it doesn't give you the right to insult me or my children. Oh, and for your information, SIR, their father...my husband has been dead for almost two years. If my children need to be spoken to, I will do so. But in this case my son was merely being curious about the operation of this ship. I will not reprimand him for showing a natural interest in things as any child would. Good day, SIR!"

Captain Gregg couldn't believe what he was seeing and hearing. This little wisp of a woman was lecturing him as though 'he' was in the wrong. 'My, but she has spunk!' he thought to himself.

Carolyn turned to walk away and as she did, she slipped on the newly washed deck and fell full force upon her left side, knocking the wind from her.

The Captain immediately dropped down beside her . He helped her to a sitting position and saw the tears ready to spill from her eyes. "Where are you hurt?" he asked, quickly scanning her form for signs of injury.

"My...arm..." she managed to breathe, "it hurts so..."

Captain Gregg leaned over and put his arm around Carolyn's waist and lifted her right arm around his shoulder, helping her to stand. "You will be all right, Madame. I will see you to your cabin and we'll have Jenkins take a look at it."

"No...don't... I'll be ...fine," she seemed to have trouble catching her breath.

They took a few steps towards the stairway when a wave of nausea washed over Carolyn. Captain Gregg saw the color drain from her face and swept her into his arms as she lost consciousness.

Carolyn awoke to the feeling of a wet cloth being placed on her forehead. "Ah, she's waking up!" said the red-cheeked man, a pair of spectacles balancing on the tip of his nose. "You took quite a nasty fall. But fortunately the bones haven't broken, just a nasty sprain. I've wrapped your arm good and tight. Lucky thing you were sleeping, it made my job easier .In a few days, you'll be just fine. "

P> "Thank you for your kindness, sir." her voice sounded weak.

"There now, it might do you some good to have a spot of brandy. It will help you to sleep and your arm won't feel so bad. Eh, Captain?"

Captain Gregg ignored the man and just continued to stare at Carolyn, intrigued by the loveliness of her green eyes. 'A man could certainly get lost in them,' he thought to himself,'Pull your self together, man! Don't do this, remember what happened last time?'

The Captain looked at Jenkins and with a nod, dismissed him and held the door. Jenkins patted Carolyn's hand and turned to leave the cabin. The Captain closed the door and approached the bed. Carolyn shifted uneasily under his gaze.

"Why did you bring me to this cabin instead of my own?" she spoke without looking at him.

Captain Gregg turned and walked over to his desk in the corner of the cabin and picked up the bottle of brandy from the shelf above it. He came back towards the bed with the bottle and two cups. He sat down on the bed beside her and handed Carolyn one of the cups. The color rose in her cheeks.

"No need to blush, Madame. Be assured you are safe with me," he grinned at her.

"You didn't answer my question. Why did you bring me to your cabin?" This time she looked him straight in the eyes.

"Well, it seemed best at the time. You see, my cabin is the closest to the stairs. I felt it would be better to put you somewhere as soon as possible so that Jenkins could take a look at you. Besides, had I taken you to your own cabin, you're br... that is, your 'children' might have become upset over seeing you hurt."

"I see. That was quite thoughtful of you. Now if you don't mind, I should like to return to my own cabin now. Thank you."

"Oh, no. Not just yet. I distinctly recall Mr. Jenkins prescribing that you should have a brandy to ease your pain." he grinned and showed her the bottle.

"Well, thank you. I don't usually...." she shook her head.

"Nonsense, Madame," and he pour a fair amount of brandy into her cup and then filled his cup. "To a speedy recovery," the Captain tapped his cup against hers. Carolyn took a small sip and felt it burn all the way down her throat. He continued to stare at her as he drank his brandy. Carolyn couldn't decide if the warmth she felt was from the brandy or because of the way he was looking at her.

She finished her brandy and insisted she that he let her return to her family. "Very well," he said, helping Carolyn to her feet, "I shall accompany you." And with that, he held out his arm for her to take.

"I sure that won't be necessary, sir. I can manage."

"I insist, Madame. We don't want any more fainting spells."

She put her arm through his and the Captain led Carolyn to her cabin.

When Carolyn entered her cabin she was met with motherly concern from Martha and tears from little Candy. "Females!" he thought with a bit of disgust. It was then he noticed the boy sitting on a stool in the corner. He just sat staring up at the Captain with a look of awe. Captain Gregg tried to ignore the boy but couldn't help looking at him.

"Madame," the Captain began, "If you will excuse me I have some duties to see to. Perhaps the lad...well... if he promises not to get in the way...could come on deck and watch while I steer the ship?" Why had he said that?

Jonathan jumped up from the stool. "Oh, PLEASE, Momma? I promise I will be extra good!"

Carolyn could not believe it and looked questioningly at the Captain. "Are you sure Jonathan wouldn't be in the way?"

"Nonsense. It will give the boy a chance to be around some men, rather than all this female frippery. Come lad, and remember...you must stay with me and follow orders."

Jonathan was beside himself with joy. "Yes, Sir!" and with that Jonathan grabbed hold of the Captain's hand. Captain Gregg looked down at his hand. He had never held a child's hand before. So small, yet so trusting.

"Hmmm....I'll return the boy later." And with a slight bow he left the cabin with Jonathan in tow.

Martha stood there amazed. "I never would have thought," she said.

Carolyn tried hard to hide her smile, "This should be interesting."

Once out on the deck, Jonathan became Captain Gregg's shadow. Everywhere he turned; the boy was following right behind. After a short time, Jonathan was even standing the same as the Captain; legs spread apart with his hands behind his back. Captain Gregg smiled to himself.

"So, lad! Do you think you're ready to take the wheel?"

"Really?"

"Certainly, just do as I say and you should be just fine."

The Captain took a small barrel and placed it in back of the large ship's wheel while one of the crewman held the ship steady. Then he picked up Jonathan and stood him on the barrel.

"Now, my boy. Place your hands here and here." Captain Gregg placed his hands beside Jonathan's and together they steered the ship. The boy's face was a picture of pure joy. It brought back so many memories of the Captain's first time aboard a ship. After a while, he felt Jonathan leaning back against him, and he put his head back on the Captain's shoulder. The Captain looked down at the little boy, whose eyes were starting to close. He signaled to a nearby crewman to take over, and picked up Jonathan and carried him down to his mother.

Martha opened the door and was surprised to see the Captain standing there, with a sleeping Jonathan cradled against his shoulder. Carolyn went to get up from her chair, but he signaled her to remain seated. He carried Jonathan over to the bunk and placed him down carefully, then covered him with a blanket.

Captain Gregg turned and whispered to Carolyn, "You've a fine young lad here, a natural born seaman!" He paused for a moment before going on. "Those things I said earlier today, Madame...I wish to tell you, you were correct. I had no right to say them to you. I did not know of your situation and it was wrong of me to criticize. Please do accept my apology."

Carolyn smiled shyly. "It's very nice of you to say this, sir. I am glad Jonathan wasn't too much of a bother."

The Captain cleared his throat and tugged on his left ear. "How are you feeling this evening, Madame? Are you still in a great deal of pain?" he asked noting the paleness in her cheeks.

"I am still a bit uncomfortable, but not overly so. Mr. Jenkins stopped by earlier and brought a bottle of brandy and insisted that Martha give me some to help me sleep. I thought that was awfully nice of him to be so concerned. Tell me, is he a doctor?"

"No, Madame. Mr. Jenkins is skilled at giving medical attention but is not a trained physician. He served under me at the Battle of Vera Cruz and when we retired from the Navy, he came to work for me. We have known each other for a great many years. Well, Madame... If you will excuse me, I will bid you a good night. Perhaps if you are feeling up to it, we could talk again tomorrow."

"Thank you, Captain. That would be lovely. Good night."

And with a nod, he left the cabin.

The Captain stood on the deck and breathed deeply of the misty salt air. His thoughts lost in the remembrance of holding Carolyn in his arms, so soft and helpless. Her scent. Her eyes. He shook his head to try to clear his mind of her. But it was no use. Blast! The Captain began to pace, his mind racing. 'Don't be such a fool. Didn't you learn your lesson with Vanessa?' His sweet, beautiful Vanessa. How could he have been so wrong about her? The pain in his heart had diminished somewhat over the past year, but it was still there. Vanessa had stolen his heart and then she ran off with another man. 'No!' he told himself, 'I'll never make that mistake again.'

The remainder of the trip was uneventful. The weather co-operated and they made good time. Carolyn saw little of the Captain throughout the voyage, although he did spend a great deal of time with Jonathan. He taught him all about different parts of the ship and even showed him how to use a sextant. Carolyn watched as her children began to form a bond with this man. She was very intrigued by his behavior. He seemed to be a gentle, caring man, but yet cautious, afraid to show any feelings. One day, the seas were particularly rough, and the Captain noticed that Candy had not taken her lunch. When he inquired about her absence, Carolyn told him that Candy was suffering from a touch of seasickness.

"We shall see about that!" he told her. The Captain went down to the cabin and talked to Candy, telling her he had a way to make her feel better. "I know a little secret of the sea," he told her. He carried her up on the deck and took her over to the rail. "You see, M'Dear," he spoke gently to her, "a long time ago, I caught a mermaid while I was fishing. She begged me to release her and if I did, she promised to tell me one of the many secrets of the sea. I agreed and she said to me, 'I know you travel on the sea in those mighty wooden ships, do you ever get seasick?' I confessed that occasionally I did. She said, "Whenever you feel this illness come upon you, look to where the sky meets the sea and wait. Soon your sickness will fall beneath the waves."

"You really talked to a mermaid?" Candy asked softly.

"Yes, lass. Do as I told you and you will feel better."

Candy turned and looked out towards the horizon, her arms wrapped around the Captain's neck. Carolyn stood close by, watching her daughter's face. Within a short amount of time, Candy turned back to look at the Captain and then at her Mother. "It's working. Mother! It's working! The mermaid was right! Thank you, Captain!" and with that she kissed Captain Gregg on the cheek.

Carolyn almost laughed out loud at the expression on the Captain's face. It was obvious he hadn't had many interactions with little girls.

He placed Candy down on the deck and she went over to the rail, continuing to gaze at the horizon. Carolyn moved close to the Captain and spoke so Candy would not hear.

"That was quite a story, Captain. Thank you for helping her."

"Watching the horizon helps the mind accept the motion the eyes cannot detect while below deck. I merely embellished the explanation, after all, Candy is a female and therefore enamored by fairy tales."

"Oh, you think that only females believe in fairy tales, Captain?"

"Yes, Madame. I know for a fact that there are no real happy endings. If you will excuse me," and he turned and walked away.

Carolyn stood and watched him leave. She wondered what could have possibly happened to make Captain feel so cynical. "Who hurt you, Captain? Who would want to hurt you?" she thought to herself.

Later that evening, Carolyn went up on the deck to get some air. The sea had calmed down and the moon was rising. It was a full moon and it lit up the sails making them glow in the night. Carolyn sighed deeply, "How beautiful..."

"Yes, indeed," came the Captain's reply, though he was referring to Carolyn and not the moon.

"Oh, Captain! I didn't know you were there," she smiled at him and turned back to looking at the moon.

Captain Gregg stood beside her looking out over the moonlit sea. "Why the night watch, Madame? "

"I just wanted a breath of fresh air. It's so lovely, I can see why a person would be drawn to this life. And just look at those stars, it's as though you could just reach out and touch them."

"You know, since ancient times we have used those stars as a guide to find our way. Just look over there, do you see those three stars in a row, that's Orion," the Captain leaned down close to Carolyn's face, barely inches apart, to point out the constellation.

The Captain turned back to look at her. She could feel his breath, warm against her neck. She slowly turned to him and looked deeply into his eyes.

"Madame..." his voice was as soft as a caress," you are..."

"Yes...I am?" came her breathless reply.

"most beautiful," and he gently brushed his lips against hers.

She slowly closed her eyes and once more he pressed his lips to hers, gently at first, then he became more demanding. His hands encircled her waist pulling her against his body. He felt her hands glide up his back until Carolyn began to play with the soft curls at his neck.

The Captain pulled away to look into her eyes, eyes filled with passion. "M'Dear, you bewitch me..."

He began to place small kisses along her neck, and a small moan escaped her lips. It seemed to bring him back to the reality of the situation. The Captain suddenly backed away from Carolyn. "This is madness. I cannot do this. Madame, I apologize for having taken advantage of you. I think that perhaps you and I should try to stay clear of each other for the remainder of our journey. I am sorry. Please excuse me," he turned and quickly fled from her sight.

Carolyn stood there in shock, hot tears streaming down her face. She raised her hand to touch her lips. They felt tender and bruised from his passionate kisses. "What did I do? What have I done?" Carolyn whispered. Then she slowly made her way back to her cabin.

Two days later, the 'Raven' arrived in Schooner Bay. The children were up on the deck watching all of the preparations for docking at the pier. The Captain stood beside them and pointed out various landmarks in the town.

"Children, I want to show you. Do you see the end of this pier?"

Both children nodded. "Good, this particular pier was heavily damaged in a very bad storm a few years ago and from the looks of things, it has not been repaired. When you leave the ship make sure you do not go down to the end the pier. It is very dangerous. It could collapse at anytime. Don't forget now."

"We'll remember, Captain."

"Now, you children should go and tell your mother that we are about to arrive." Captain Gregg had not seen Carolyn since the incident on the deck two nights before. She had stayed in her cabin and taken her meals there as well.

'It is probably for the best,' he tried to convince himself, but was failing miserably.

Carolyn stepped out onto the deck and placed her hand over her eyes to block out the glare of the sun, then looked around. That's when she spotted the Captain at the bow of the ship with the children. She felt the color rise to her face. She squared her shoulders and made her way across the deck to see him. Captain Gregg was caught off guard when he felt her poke him in the shoulder. He gave her a big smile. She scowled.

"Captain, I just wanted to thank you for the kindness you have shown my children on this voyage. I realize that you are a busy man and I'm sorry if I...WE...wasted any of your valuable time!" she added sarcastically.

She looked him straight in the eye and was confused by what she saw there. A certain sadness, perhaps? She suddenly felt very awkward, and didn't know where to look.

Captain Gregg took her hand and kissed it. "Madame, I wish you all the best in your new life here in Schooner Bay. I hope that you and I can somehow be friends. After all, it is a small town and we are bound to run into each other. At least I hope we do."

Carolyn's mind was in a whirlwind. After the other night she thought he did not want to see her again. He was the most confusing man she had ever met.

"If you will excuse me, Madame. I must see to my ship," and with a bow he was gone.

The Muirs left the ship and were greeted by Mr. Peevey who worked for Carolyn's uncle, Claymore. He helped put their baggage in the carriage and helped them all inside. He took Martha's hand to help her and gave her a little wink. She blushed like a schoolgirl.

Meanwhile, the Captain headed over to the harbormaster's office to sign in the log. When he walked in he almost bumped into Blair Thompson.

"Why Captain Gregg! I'm very surprised to see you here. How long has it been? A year?"

"Yes, Thompson. It has." the Captain grimaced inwardly. He never liked Thompson.

"So Captain, I see you had passengers aboard your ship this time. Anyone interesting?"

"No one of interest to you, Thompson. A widow, Mrs. Muir with two small children and their housekeeper." the Captain continued to fill in his paper work.

"Mrs. Muir? Not Carolyn Muir? Of Philadelphia?" Thompson seemed surprised.

"Actually, yes. That is her name. How do you know her?" the Captain was surprised by the hint of jealousy in his voice.

Thompson flashed a wicked smile. "I've known Carolyn for years. Her husband, Robert and I were friends in college. He introduced us at a Christmas dance. I thought she was the most enchanting creature I'd ever met. Sweet, lovely. I even asked her to marry me once."

"Oh...why, may I ask did she not accept?" the Captain's curiosity was peaked.

"Well, Carolyn and Robert's families were business associates. It was always assumed, since they grew up together, that eventually they would marry."

"But certainly, she must have loved him if she married the man?" the Captain seemed shocked to think Carolyn would do anything just because she was expected to, she was too independent for that.

"Oh, she loved him. In fact, she absolutely adored him. Robert on the other hand, married simply to please his family. Such a shame. Carolyn is such a passionate woman. It's hard to imagine why any man wouldn't be devoted to her."

The Captain's mind went back to thoughts of Vanessa. She had said she loved him, but had she ever really shown a passionate side? He could not remember a look or a caress that had shown any such trait. Vanessa was always prim and proper, doing and saying the right things. But the Captain could not recall anything like what he had seen in Carolyn's eyes or felt when he kissed her.

Later that evening, Captain Gregg sat in front of the fireplace at Gull Cottage, having a glass of brandy. It hadn't been as difficult as he imagined it would be to enter his home. After all it was HIS home, he was the only one to ever live there. Why shouldn't he feel comfortable here? He climbed the stairs leadingup to his room and paused outside of the first room. He opened the door and peered inside. 'This room,' he thought, 'would make a wonderful room for Jonathan and Candy.'

He moved on to his 'cabin'. Once inside, he paused and looked at his surroundings. "I did not think I would miss this place so much," he admitted to himself. The Captain walked over to the French doors, opened them and stepped outside on to the balcony. He looked out over the moonlit bay and thought of Carolyn.

He pictured her standing beside him there, gazing at the stars. Then he would take her in his arms and carry her to the bed, making sweet love to her all night long. "Carolyn," he whispered her name, "could I trust you with my heart?" It suddenly occurred to him that for the first time in over a year he imagined being with someone other than Vanessa.

Early the next morning, Captain Gregg set off for town to find Carolyn. His first stop was at her uncle's office. Claymore was his usual unpleasant self, but told the Captain that Carolyn was staying at his house in town. 'All those people, in one small house together...that's ridiculous!' the Captain thought.

As he approached Claymore's house, he was surprised to see Blair Thompson's carriage in front of the house. As the Captain stepped onto the front porch the door opened wide and out came Blair...with Carolyn on his arm. Blair tipped his hat. "Well, good morning, Captain! Lovely day, isn't it!" Captain Gregg looked at Thompson and then at Carolyn, who seemed just as surprised to see the Captain there.

"Captain Gregg! I...Blair...was just about to take me for a tour of Schooner Bay!" she smiled brightly. Inside she cringed, 'Why did I feel the need to tell him what I was doing? He made it clear the other night that he would rather not be in my company.'

She clung tighter to Blair's arm and raised her head with an air of defiance. "To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit, sir?"

Captain Gregg was taken aback, but then calmly said, "I was wondering, if I may take Jonathan fishing this afternoon. I did promise him that I would do that sometime. Is that all right with you, Madame?"

"Oh..." she said rather flatly, disappointed that he had not come to see her. "I'm certain that Jonathan will be thrilled. I hope the both of you have a nice time. Blair, shall we go?" she brushed by the Captain and did not look back.

"Blast!" was all he could say.

Captain Gregg and Jonathan had a wonderful day of fishing. They didn't catch many fish, but the boy was thrilled to have spent the day with the Captain. They returned late in the afternoon and were greeted by Carolyn at the door. Jonathan ran to his mother and threw his arms around her neck. "Momma, the Captain caught some fish and we built a fire and ate them on the beach!" he was so excited.

"That's wonderful, Jonathan. Sounds like the two of you had a lovely time."

"Can we do it again sometime?" the boy pleaded. "Of course, lad! We'll make plans, all right? Now be a good boy, and wash for dinner. I need to speak to your mother."

Carolyn stepped out onto the porch and they walked out into the front yard.

"I was wondering, Madame, if you and the children would like to come to Gull Cottage, say...the day after tomorrow for a picnic?"

"I don't know, Captain..." she hesitated.

"Madame, we did agree to be friends. Did we not? I'm just asking for one afternoon with you and your family. Is that such a bad thing?" there was a look of longing in his eyes.

Carolyn gave in. "Yes, Captain. We will come. Thank you." she gave him a sweet smile.

The Captain took her hand in his and placed a soft kiss on her fingers all the while looking deeply into her eyes. Carolyn felt her heart skip a beat.

"Very well, Madame. I shall see you and the children then. Have a lovely evening," and he was gone.

The day of the picnic was absolutely perfect. The sun shone brightly and there were lots of billowy clouds on the horizon.

Jonathan and Candy ran barefoot through the waves, collecting seashells, while the Captain and Carolyn sat together on a blanket in the sand. Carolyn closed her eyes and took a deep breath, leaning back so her face was in the sun. "You certainly picked a glorious day for a picnic, Captain."

She turned to look at him when a gust of wind blew some sand in her eyes. "Oh!" she cried.

Captain Gregg sat down beside her. He took her face in his hands and tried to clear the sand from her face. "I think I'm fine now, Captain," but he just continued to look into her eyes.

Slowly he lowered his head towards hers, she closed her eyes, anticipating the touch of his lips. She waited. Nothing happened. She opened her eyes and looked at him. "No more sand, M'Dear. You should be all right now."

Carolyn turned her head, trying to hide her disappointment.

Later in the day, the four returned to Gull Cottage and the Captain let the children go up into the attic to explore. While the children kept busy, Carolyn and the Captain shared a glass of Madeira in the living room.

"How are you getting on with your Uncle?"

"Well, it isn't exactly turning out like I thought it would. He has changed a lot since I saw him last. He has become such a miser. All he is concerned with is his money. He said he would have a house available to rent, but it is just awful. The roof leaks, it's drafty. I can't bring the children there. So until I can afford something better, I'm afraid we have to stay with him."

Just then, the children came running down from the attic. "Mother, look what I found!" Candy ran into the room wearing a beautiful shawl. The Captain immediately took the shawl from Candy.

"It was in the attic, inside one of the trunks. Mother...did I do something wrong?"

Carolyn put her arm around her daughter. "No, Candy. Why don't you and Jonathan go outside and play a little while. I'll be out shortly."

The children ran outside and Carolyn approached the Captain who was standing looking out the bay window. Ever so gently, she placed her hand on his shoulder. He turned to look at her, his eyes full of pain. "Captain, I know that you are hurting. Won't you please let me help you? Tell me what is wrong."

The Captain shook his head. He sat down on the sofa and held his head in his hands. He could not bring himself to tell her. He did not want her pity. He did not want anyone's pity. Carolyn stood a moment and then walked towards the door. She turned to the Captain and said, "I think it would be best if I left now. Thank you, Captain for..." she could not go on. She simply walked out of the door.

The next few weeks, Captain Gregg saw little of Carolyn. He stopped by now and then to take the children on outings, but usually when Carolyn was at work. Occasionally, he would run into her in town and they would have a polite conversation, but besides that they had little contact.

One morning, the Captain was surprised to receive an invitation to attend a party hosted by Blair Thompson. It had been so long since he had gone to one of these functions. "This would probably do me a world of good. I haven't been out socially in a very long time." So he sent a reply saying he would attend.

Blair Thompson lived in one of the largest homes in Schooner Bay. The grounds of the estate overlooked the harbor. When the Captain arrived, the party was well underway, the orchestra playing a lively polka. Captain Gregg accepted a glass of champagne from one of the servants and proceeded to mingle with the other guests. The Captain spotted Blair on the other side of the dance floor, speaking to some of his guests. He thought he should go over and pay his respects to his host. As he approached, his eye caught a glimpse of blond curls besides Blair. One of the other guests moved aside and the Captain was astonished to see the vision before him.

There, dressed in a lovely green silk gown, the color of her eyes, stood Carolyn Muir. He held his breath for a moment. Never in his life had he seen such loveliness.

Blair was the first to notice the Captain. "Ah, Captain Gregg! It was so good of you to come!" He took the Captain's hand and shook it vigorously. Carolyn turned and her eyes met the Captain's. She felt her heart slamming in her chest.

Blair reached over and placed his arm around Carolyn's waist drawing her close to his side. Carolyn gave the Captain a warm smile. He took her hand in his own and kissed the back of it, never taking his eyes from hers.

"Madame, it has been quite a while since we last met. I trust things are well with you?" he asked politely. Inside, he felt his blood boil.'How dare Thompson hold her in such a familiar way?' he thought to himself.

Carolyn was having a difficult time speaking. "Yes. I...we...have been very well, and you, sir?" she began fanning herself frantically.

"Fine, thank you."

There was a great deal of tension in the air, when the orchestra began to play a waltz. The Captain turned immediately to Carolyn, who had been released from Blair's embrace. "Madame, would you do me the honor?" and he held out his hand to her. Carolyn accepted it and the two stepped onto the dance floor together. The Captain held her gently in his arms and they moved around the dance floor. All through the dance, neither of them spoke a word. They just looked deeply into each other's eyes. When the waltz ended, Carolyn began to walk away but the Captain took her by the elbow and led her over to the gardens.

"I should like to speak with you, M'Dear," he spoke seriously.

"Certainly, Captain. Is anything the matter?"

"You and Thompson seem rather close as of late. Are you two serious?" he could not mask the jealousy he was feeling.

p> "Would it bother you if we were?" she asked feigning disinterest. "After all, Blair and I are old friends. Shouldn't we see each other?" she was trying to bait him.

"Well, Madame. Of course I realize that you have known each other for a good many years. I just wondered if it was serious?" he turned her around so she would look him in the eyes to answer.

The look on his face almost made her cry. He seemed lost, searching for some- thing from her, but what could it be? Whenever they shared any closeness, he always backed away. She decided it was time to settle things. She had to make the first move.

Carolyn gently took his face in her hands and looked lovingly into his eyes. "Daniel, tell me what you're afraid of? Please!"

He couldn't hold back any longer. The Captain took her into his arms and kissed her with all the passion that had he kept inside for so long. He captured her mouth and she responded with equal force.

"Oh, Carolyn! You are the most exquisite woman I have ever known. All I ask is that you don't break my heart," he whispered as he trailed kisses down her neck.

"Never, Daniel. I swear I will never hurt you," she answered breathlessly.

The Captain stood up and held Carolyn tightly in his arms. "M'Dear, this isn't the place. We shall talk tomorrow. Come to Gull Cottage and we will talk."

Carolyn brushed back a loose curl from her face and straightened her dress. "Yes, tomorrow we will talk."

The Captain straightened his tie and escorted her back to the party. A short time later, the Captain made his good-byes and left the party.

The next day, Carolyn did go to visit Captain Gregg. He was waiting at the door when she arrived. She flew into his arms and he kissed her soundly. They spent the afternoon together, talking about their pasts, their fears, and hopes for the future. They agreed that it would be best if they proceeded slowly in their relationship. After all, there were the children to consider. So the Captain felt it wasn't the time to ask Carolyn to marry him. There was one thing that the Captain did insist upon. "M'Dear, I'm afraid I will be leaving in a few days, this time I'm sailing to Florida. I will be gone for a few months."

"Do you really have to go so soon?" she asked with sadness in her voice.

"I'm afraid so, but I was thinking. While I am gone, Gull Cottage will be empty. I want you and the children, and Martha, of course, to come and live here while I am gone."

"But Daniel, we can't live here, together? What will people say?"

"I realize that, so when I return I will stay at the Inn in town."

"You can't be serious! This is YOUR home," she was ready to cry.

"Carolyn, it would make me very happy if I knew you and the children were here. This would be a much better arrangement for you than living in your Uncle's house. Please do this for me."

Carolyn smiled deeply. "All right, we will."

So the next day, Carolyn and the rest packed up, moved into Gull Cottage and Captain Gregg stayed aboard his ship. Martha was able to persuade Mr. Peevey to lend a hand in the move, by baking him one of her famous cherry pies. He couldn't refuse after such a delicious offer.

Captain Gregg had moved most of the gear he needed for his voyage to his cabin aboard the "Raven". He and the crew began storing the supplies needed for the voyage. The Captain stopped into the harbormaster's office where once again he ran into Blair Thompson. Blair confronted the Captain immediately. "Tell me Captain, is it true that Carolyn and her family have moved into your home?" he asked suspiciously.

"Yes, Thompson. It's true. Why do you want to know?" the Captain gave him a questioning glance.

"Well, Captain. I guess congratulations are in order."

"I don't understand, Thompson."

"Why, on your upcoming nuptials, of course!"

"Thompson, I have not asked Carolyn to marry me. I invited her to live there, with her family while I am away at sea. When I return, I shall take a room at the Inn," the Captain sneered at him, "any more questions?"

"So then you haven't proposed?"

"I told you, no! Now if you will excuse me, I have a voyage to prepare for," and with that the Captain left. Blair stood watching the Captain heading towards his ship.

"I think you made a big mistake in not proposing, Captain. Someone could just step right in and steal her away from you. Lord, knows it's happened to you before," he grinned wickedly.

After boarding the "Raven", the Captain realized he had forgotten some equipment he needed for his voyage. 'I need to go back to Gull Cottage.' His mind quickly turned to thoughts of Carolyn. Then he thought of Thompson. 'Why didn't I ask Carolyn to marry me? I know how she feels about me now. I've got to talk to her.' He grabbed his sea bag and left to go to Carolyn.

Captain Gregg dropped his gear beside the stone wall and opened the gate. As he started on the flagstone walk he could see Carolyn inside of the living room through the bay window. His view was partially obscured by the monkey-puzzle tree he had planted in front of the window. "Blast!" he thought to himself, "I should have planted that tree farther away from the house." As the Captain approached, he could see someone else in the room. "Thompson!" he growled beneath his breath.

The Captain stopped on the porch and was struck cold by what he saw next. Blair approached Carolyn, bent down on one knee and took her hand in his own. Then, Blair stood and slowly put his hands towards Carolyn's face. From his angle, the Captain saw the couple embrace. The Captain fell back a step as though he had been shot. He turned around, shaking his head in disbelief. He felt as if a knife was being plunged inside his heart. He grabbed at the porch railing to steady himself. "Carolyn...how could you do this?" The Captain stumbled down the stairs, back towards the gate. Slowly, he picked up his gear and started walking back to town.

Inside the house, Carolyn was talking to Blair. "You know how I feel about you Carolyn. How I have always felt about you. I want you to marry me. Let me take care of you and the children. I can give you everything that you ever need or want. All you have to do is say 'yes'."

Carolyn turned away and walked towards the bay window, all the while toying with the locket around her neck. "Blair, you know how much you mean to me. You have always been a great friend and you have been so important in my life. But...we both know that I don't love you. At least not in the way you want me to love you. I'm afraid I cannot say 'yes'." As Carolyn said this, the clasp on her locket chain became undone and fell to the floor.

Blair walked over and got down on his knee to pick it up for her. He took Carolyn's hand and placed the locket in her palm. She turned from him, and tried to put the chain back on. Blair slowly removed the thin chain and said, "Allow me." Carolyn tilted her head to one side and Blair slowly guided the chain around her neck and moved in close so he could secure the clasp. Blair stepped back and looked sadly into Carolyn's eyes. He took her hand in his own and kissed the back of it. "My dearest Carolyn. I could have made you so very happy. But I guess that will be up to the Captain to do, am I right? That is if he ever gets around to asking you to marry him. He hasn't, has he?"

"No, he hasn't. He needs time and I'm willing to wait. I think he needs to feel that he can trust my love," she said with tears in her eyes.

"How could he not?" Blair reached out and touched Carolyn's cheek. "Farewell, my Carolyn. Until the next time." Then he was gone.

Carolyn sat in the window seat looking out towards the bay. "Oh, Daniel. I pray you feel the same for me. But I'm willing to wait for you. Even if it takes a hundred years. I will wait."

Just then Jonathan came bounding down the stairs. "Captain Gregg, Captain Gregg! Want to see the seashell I found!" He came to a stop in the doorway of the living room and looked at his mother with a puzzled expression. "Where's Captain Gregg, Momma?"

"Here isn't here, Dear."

"But I saw him. I was looking out the telescope and I saw him come up the road!"

"No, Jonathan. That was Mr. Thompson you saw. The Captain hasn't been here."

"Momma, I know that Mr. Thompson was here. I saw him leave. But I also saw the Captain. Where did he go?"

Carolyn was confused. If the Captain had been there, why didn't he come in? Why didn't he say anything to her? Carolyn looked at Jonathan. "Honey, please go and see Martha. Tell her I am going into town to see the Captain. I will back as soon as I can. Be a good boy, now!"

"Yes, Momma!"

Carolyn put on her bonnet and cloak and started towards town.

Back in Schooner Bay, Captain Gregg was shouting out orders to his crew. "Let's get this finished, men! I want to set sail on the evening tide! Get on with it."

The crew looked around at each other. They knew something was definitely wrong with the Captain. The ship wasn't scheduled to set sail until the following evening.

Mr. Jenkins approached the Captain. "Begging your pardon, sir. But some of the crew wants to say farewell to their sweethearts and wives."

"Mr. Jenkins! I said we set sail TONIGHT!" his gaze was cold as steel.

In a low voice, Jenkins leaned towards the Captain and asked, "What is it, Daniel? What has you about ready to kill someone?"

Captain Gregg gripped the rail of the ship and took a deep breath. "Sam...I've lost her."

"You mean Carolyn?"

The Captain nodded and looked out at the bay. "Sam. I saw her, tonight with Blair Thompson. I went by to see her to ask her to wait for me. To ask her to marry me. But I was too late. I saw...Carolyn and Thompson...together. He was down on one knee. I saw them embrace. It's over, Sam. I should have known better."

Sam slapped the Captain on the shoulder, "Listen, Daniel. Did she tell you she was marrying Thompson?"

The Captain stood up straight and glared at Sam. "I know what I saw! Don't you have some work to do, MR. JENKINS?"

"Sure, Captain. Sure."

Carolyn wasn't sure why, but the closer she got to town, the more she felt she needed to run. If the Captain had been to the house, why didn't he come inside? Why didn't he say something?

The sun was starting to set by the time she reached the dock. When the ship came into view, Carolyn stopped dead in her tracks. The ship had begun to pull away from the dock.

"Oh, no! Daniel!" she could hardly breathe. Desperately, she ran to the end of the pier. All the while, yelling, "Wait! Please wait!" She could see the Captain standing on the deck, looking back at her. Carolyn could see the look on his face and a chill ran through her entire being. There was now a cold, dark emptiness in his eyes. Carolyn felt as though her heart was being torn from her chest. She felt her knees weaken and she leaned against the pier railing for support.

That was when she heard the sound. A slow creaking sound and then the splintering of wood. Before she could react, Carolyn felt herself falling. When she hit the water, the severe cold knocked the breath from her. Before the dark water consumed her, she though she heard someone call her name. She struggled to make it back to the surface, but her limbs were tangled in her saturated cloak. "Oh, my God..."she prayed in her mind, "watch over my babies. Please...Oh, Daniel, help me!"

Her lungs felt as though they were on fire, ready to burst. Finally, her body rebelled and she could not fight any longer. It was over, the blackness consumed her.

Captain Gregg stood silently on the deck watching the crew untie the ropes from the dock, when he saw Carolyn running towards the pier. He almost yelled out to her, but his pride wouldn't let him. 'Why have you come here, Carolyn? Why must you torture me?' he thought to himself. He could see the look on her face. Fear, confusion? What was that all about? He knew now she didn't love him. He heard her cry out, "Wait! Please wait!" Wait for what? Wait so she could finish the job of breaking what was left of his heart?

That's when he heard the sounds. Splintering wood, Carolyn's scream, the splash of the water, his own voice calling her name. It was like being in a nightmare. The Captain raced to the rail of the ship, yelling to the crew for help. He stood on the rail and dove in the water to save her. The impact of the frigid water left him momentarily dazed, but then he swam to where Carolyn had entered the water.

The sun had gone down by this time and the Captain had to feel around to try to find her, when suddenly his hand brushed up against her body. He took hold of her around the waist and pulled her up to the surface. By this time the Captain's body was numb, but he managed to get Carolyn to the shore.

The crew had lowered a smaller boat into the water and was heading in with lanterns and blankets. Mr. Jenkins was the first man out of the boat and he ran over to help. Captain Gregg was sitting on the beach, holding Carolyn in his arms, rocking her back and forth. Her face was extremely pale and she didn't appear to be breathing.

"Daniel! Lie her down on her stomach! NOW!" Jenkins ordered.

The Captain did as he was told. His entire body shivering violently from cold and fear. Jenkins threw a blanket over Carolyn and straddled her body. He placed his hands on her back and pushed down hard. He repeated this a few times, before water burst from her mouth and she began to cough. The Captain whispered a prayer of thanks and turned to Jenkins.

"Sam...w-we...n-need to...g-get her warm."

"Aye, sir! We do. Both of you need to get warm." One of the crewmen brought a carriage around and once the Captain, Carolyn and Jenkins were inside. They sped off to Gull Cottage. All the way there, the Captain held onto Carolyn in his lap. She still hadn't opened her eyes. "Can't this blasted rig go any faster?" he shouted.

"Easy now, Daniel. We will be there before you know it."

"Sam, you are going to have to go back to town for me. Thompson has to be told. He has a right to be told. He...should be there with her..." his voice was now barely a whisper.

When they arrived at Gull Cottage, the Captain carried Carolyn inside and brought her upstairs to her room. Martha took care of getting Carolyn into some dry clothes. In the meantime, Captain Gregg washed and changed into some clothes which he had stored in the guest room. The doctor had been sent for as well as Blair Thompson. The children were already asleep when they arrived at the house, so it was decided it would best not to wake them.

Captain Gregg stood in the living room beside the roaring fireplace. Mr. Jenkins had prescribed his usual cure of brandy to ward off any chill the Captain received while in the water. They heard the carriage pull up in front of the house, and the Captain knew it must be Thompson. A few seconds later, Blair came bursting through the front door, his face full of concern.

"Is Carolyn all right? Where is she?" he confronted the Captain.

"She is upstairs, in bed. The doctor is with her. She has not regained consciousness as of yet."

The Captain took a deep breath. He had to face his defeat like a man. "I decided it would be best for everyone if I left right away. After all, you and Carolyn...well...have plans to make and I thought it would be best if I just left without making a scene," he continued to stare into the fire.

"What are you talking about, Captain? What plans do I have to make with Carolyn?"

"Come now, Thompson. I'm not blind! I'm talking about the plans for your wedding. Surely you don't expect me to stay around to witness you marrying the woman I love!" his anger was growing.

"Where did you get the idea that Carolyn and I were getting married?"

"This afternoon, I stopped by to see Carolyn and I...well, I saw you get down on your knee and then you embraced..."

Blair shook his head. "You fool! Yes, I did ask Carolyn to marry me. But she turned me down. What you saw, or should I say, "didn't" see was that Carolyn's locket had fallen to the floor. I merely got down on my knee to retrieve it for her."

"But I saw you embrace!"

"That was when I was helping her to re-clasp the chain on the locket. Listen Captain. I would think that you would know that Carolyn would not marry me. She is madly in love with you, though I must admit I don't understand why. She told me today of her feelings for you and that she hoped that one day you would trust her love. As a matter of fact, I had come back into the house because I forgot my walking stick in the foyer. I overheard her talking to herself. She said that she would wait for you, even if she had to wait a hundred years."

The Captain looked up the stairway to the second floor. "She really said that?"

Blair shook his head. "I think you should be there when she wakes up. Don't you? Just tell her for me that I will be thinking of her. Good luck, Captain."

Captain Gregg slowly climbed the stairs and went to the door of his "cabin". He knocked softly and Martha let him in, she had tears in her eyes.

"She hasn't stirred since you brought her back, Captain."

The Captain approached the bed and sat down in the chair beside her. She looked very pale and her breathing was shallow. He picked up her hand and held it against his cheek. Tears formed in his eyes. "I'm so sorry, M'Dear. I am so sorry for doubting your love. Please don't leave me now. I need you, I will always need you."

He got up and sat beside her on the bed. He leaned over and took her into his arms holding her gently against him. "Carolyn... my darling. I love you more than life itself. Please come back to me."

While he sat holding her, he heard a little sigh escape her lips. "Daniel?" she whispered.

He laid her back down on the pillow and looked into her shining green eyes. The Captain had never known such joy. He softly caressed her cheek and smiled down at her. "Yes, my love. It's me."

"I had the most awful nightmare. I thought I lost you. I thought you were never coming back." Tears started to form in her eyes. He kissed her tenderly.

"Carolyn it WAS all a bad dream, but from now on, I promise you will have sweet dreams for the rest of your life."

Three days later, Carolyn stood on the dock, along with Martha and the children to say good-bye to the Captain. "M'Dear, you really shouldn't be out. You should still be in bed!"

"Nonsense, I had to come to see you off. I promise I will rest as soon as we get back home." She flashed him a radiant smile.

Captain Gregg turned and gave Martha a kiss on the cheek. "Take good care of my love, will you?"

"Of course, I will. Have a safe voyage." Martha winked at him.

He then turned to the children. "Candy, when I return I will bring you some lovely silk ribbons for your hair. Would you like that?"

"Oh, yes. I would love that, Captain. I will miss you."

"Jonathan,"

"Yes, sir?"

"While I am away, you are the man of the house. I expect you to take good care of your mother and sister and Martha, too."

"Yes, SIR!" Jonathan saluted.

Candy turned to the Captain. "When will we see you again, Captain."

"Christmas, Candy. I promise I will be back to share Christmas with the family."

Captain Gregg turned to Carolyn. She was trying unsuccessfully to keep her tears from falling. He brushed one away with his hand. "M'Dear. Before I leave, there is something that I must ask of you."

"Yes, Daniel?"

"Will you wait for me? When I return, will you be my wife?" He looked lovingly into her eyes.

"Oh, Daniel, I will wait for you, forever if need be and yes I will be your wife."

The Captain took Carolyn into his arms and kissed her. Gently at first, but then their passion took over. It wasn't until they heard the crew starting to cheer that they realized they had an audience. Laughing, they parted and the Captain jumped onto the deck of his ship.

Carolyn stood smiling as the ship pulled away from the dock. She knew he would come back to her.

Captain Gregg stood on the deck, smiling at Carolyn. He knew she would wait for him.

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