Misc Stuff**Quotes & Funny Stuff**
QUOTES
Men are like light switches...even a 2 year old can turn them on.
I'm like a butterfly: Pretty to look at and hard to catch!
If I Could Rearrange The Alphabet, I'd Put "U" And "I" Together
If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you've made me smile, the entire evening sky Would be in the palm of my hand
"I wasn't kissing him.. I was just telling his lips a secret"
a bitch is a dog...a dog barks...barks are on trees...trees are from nature...nature is beautiful...so if your gonna call me a b*tch...call me with respect"
"i am not a bitch...i am THE bitch...that's ms. bitch to you so you better say it with a smile on your face"
"are you gonna cry?can i watch?"
"mirrors don't talk...lucky for you they dont laugh either"
"i'm a genie in a bottle and you are a tramp in a lamp"
"i'd tell you to go to hell but all dogs go to heaven"
"i'm busy,your ugly...have a nice day"
"i tried to see things from your point of view...but i couldn't shove my head that far up my ass"
"bitches come...bitches go...but forever you will stay a hoe"
"does it get boring being a pain in the ass?"
"a pretty girl can kiss a guy...a bird can kiss a butterfly...the rising sun can kiss the grass...but you my friend can kiss my ass"
"you are...
A-awesome
B-beautiful
C-charming
D-delicious
E-everything
F-fabulous
G-great
H-hott
I-i'm
J-just
K-kidding
L-loser"
"i know you think i'm cute...i know you think i'm fine...but like the rest of the guys...take a number and wait in line"
"How can I miss you if you won't go away?"
"Ever stop to think and forget to start again?"
"Love is like a bird...when you least expect it. It craps on ur face"
"If everything I said made you smile, I'd talk forever"
"This one time...at band camp..."
"Love means never having to say you're sorry"
"Isn't it strange how a heart is two upside down teardrops?"
"You never know how long a person will be in your life. Don't take advantage of them."
"You're everything I Never knew I always wanted"
"Whoever said death was the hard part was wrong, letting go and realizing that I will never feel your arms around me is even harder"
"If I could give you one gift, I would give you the ability to see yourself as I see you, so you can see how much of a bitch you are"
"Why does freelove cost so much?"
"Being single is like a vacuum, it really sux when ur turned on!"
"The spaces between ur fingers were meant so another persons fingers could fill em"
"U said that u would hate to see me cry. So tell me, now that u hurt me, are u closing ur eyes"
"Love can be magic, but sometimes magic is an illusion."
"If he or she says that you are too good for him or her -- believe it."
"The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love Somebody else."
" The truth of the matter is that you always know the right thing to do. The hard part is doing it."
"The best vitamin for developing friendship is B1."
"Everyone seems normal until you get to know them."
"The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship: "I apologize" and "You are right."
"To get nowhere, follow the crowd."
"Always forgive your enemies. Nothing annoys them so much."
"After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring, he kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him...The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut."
"You can only go as far as you push."
"If Barbie is so popular then why do you have to buy her friends?"
"First God created Men... then he had a better idea."
"A hint is something often dropped, but rarely picked up."
"I'm not perfect.. I'm just too close for you to tell the difference."
"If you don't learn from your mistakes there's no point making them"
"If you don't want it bad enough to risk losing it, then u don't want it bad enough."
"God gave me eyes so i can look at u, god gave me lips so i can kiss u, but why did he give me a heart just 4 u 2 break!"
"If the heart is the strongest muscle in the body , why is it so easily broken?"
"I cant believe the rumors im hearing about you... theyre completely different then the ones i started!"
"I didnt say it was your fault .. i just said i was going to blame you!"
"If a swimming pool is good for your figure, how do you explain whales?"
"I used to have a handle on life but i broke it!"
"Two words guys hate to hear... Don't and Stop unless you put them in the same sentence!"
"You can only be young once, but you can be immature forever"
"If your nose runs and your feet smell, you're built backwards!"
"I wished on a star last night; i guess it was out of order!"
"I kno kung fu, karate and 48 other dangerous words. DONT mess with me!"
"Whoever said money cant buy happiness, hasnt been shopping at the right malls!"
"I'm not smiling at you; i'm trying not to laugh!"
"Dont upset me; i'm running out of places to put the bodies!"
"Life isnt a garden, so stop being a hoe!"
"Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem."
"Do not follow where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail."
"Nobody's a virgin, life screws us all!"
"Opportunities are like sunrises, If you wait too long you miss them."
"I want to be like Barbie, the bitch has EVERYTHING!"
"Nice face, but what are you going 2 do when the monkey wants his ass back?"
"I'm a princess, I live in the clouds, you wanna kick it with me...you better bow down...so get on your knees and call me your highness cuz baby...I'm Kitchener's Finest!"
"To the world you may be 1 person...but to that 1 person, you may be the world"
"If You Love Me, Let me know. if you Don’t, Than Let me go. Cause I Will Love You Til I Die, But Love is nothing...if it’s A Lie."
"First you Diss Me. Now you wanna kiss me? Well guess What Sweetie, you Totally Missed Me"
"I*m a LiL cutie* short~n~ sweet mess with my girls and your gonna get beat"
"I like to help you out, which way did u come in?"
"Your jealousy is my energy. Ever wonder why I'm so hyper??"
"Girl of dah year, Cutie of dah season... Your guy left you and I'm dah reason."
"Remember: When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown but only 4 to reach over and slap 'em."
"I'm every guyz dream.. eva wonder why your guy loves tah sleep??"
"Work like you don't need the money, Live like you'll die 2morrow, Love like you've never been hurt, and dance like nobody's watching!"
"You dont get to chose who you fall in love with, you just fall and end up with someone in front of you who is so wrong, but at the same time so incredibly right."
"People tell me to forget the past. But how can I when the past is what made me happy?"
"Its A GURLS WORLD AND GUYS JUST LIVE IN IT!"
"I'm gonna smile like nothing's wrong, talk like everything's perfect, act like it's just a dream, and pretend he's not hurting me."
"A girl is much more than she seems, she's not a toy by any means. Underneath the makeup 'n hair there's a sign that says handle wit care"
"If you love him set him free, if he don't come back, he's probably wit me"
"I'm not blonde- I'm knot! I'm knot! I'm knot"
"I swear to drunk officer I'm not God!"
"I don't come w/ dice, so don't play me"
"Hi. I am probably home, I am just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave a message, and if I don't call back, it's you."
"ONLY 10% of MEN go to HEAVEN, cuz if they ALL* *went it WOULD be HELL!"
"If U Want Me To Fall 4 U... U Gotta Give Me Sumthin Worth Trippin Ova"
"Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget!"
"You can only go as far as you push"
"Actions speak louder than words"
"Everything is ok in the end, if its not ok, then its not the end"
"I said I had the answers, I never said they were rite!"
"Treat me like a princess b/c, I am!"
"If I'm not back in 5 min, wait longer!"
"Relationships are like glass. It is better to leave it broken than to hurt yourself trying to piece it back together."
"Maybe this world is another planets hell"
"A wise monkey never monkies with another monkey's monkey!"
"How can you be friends with someone if everytime you look at them, it makes you want them even more?"
"You never know what you have until you lose it, and once you lose it, you can never get it back"
"whats betta? a lie that draws a smile or the truth that draws a tear?"
"Loving *U* is like breathing...how can i stop"
"For all of you who talk about me, Thanks for making me the centre of your world."
"Every girl wants one guy to meet all her needs, while every guy wants all the girls to meet his one need."
"I can only please one person per day, today is not your day and tomorrow doesn't look good either."
"I am not a player...I'm the game"
"In Reality*....The Player Isn't Actually Playing The Other Person......He's Playing Himself..."
"I may not always be rite but im NEVER wrong!"
"You just lost the chance you never had"
"let them notice you, not you notice them"
"*Don't ever be afraid to come to me n cry* *Don't ever hesitate to look me in the eye* *Don't ever be afraid to tell me how you feel* *Remeber ur my gurls n we gotta keep it realL*"
"The Next Time You Think You're Perfect, Try Walking On Water"
"Mystify people with your intelligence, and if u cant do that, mystify them with your B.S"
"i tell him everything i mean EVERYTHING but why cant i tell him he means everything to me?"
"Yah u'd be pretty good lookin if it wasn't for your face"
"Imagine ur life without me...miserable huh?"
"sarcasm keeps you from telling people what you really think of them"
"For love I'd do anything...for you I'd do more"
"Like wut u c?? Call 1-800-U-W-I-S-H"
"You don't have to talk about how great you are...let the actions do the talking"
"I believe in angels cuz I am one"
"I didn't ask to be a princess...but hey.. If the crown fits"
"When your ex gets over u in the blink of an eye u know it was true to dump him and say bye bye"
"I'm On A Mission To Get Over You....In Other Words *Mission Impossible*"
"Girls cheat but we never get caught"
"I am Too Much *PRINCESS* for one boy"
"True love are like ghosts, which everyone talks about but few have seen."
"If you really cared, you would leave me alone!"
"I dont have an Attitude Problem...Its supposed to be like this"
"Im not a toy So Don't play w/ me!"
"I'm not a lie, I'm not an illusion, I'm a princess so what's the confusion?"
"in some cultures what i do iz considered normal"
"Angels r suppost to be good... so why did one break my heart?
"Don't think of me as the best looking person in the world think of everyone in the world uglyer than me"
"Call me anytime, I won't be home."
"I will not chase boys! I will not chase boys! I will not chase boys!.....Unless they provoke me"
"I've said wut i needed to say ** Ive done wut i needed to do ** Now whadever happens to us.. ** I guess ill leave it up to yew"
"Guys don't say EX, they say NEXT"
"If you are the flame, You can't be burned"
"ü had betta take some sLEepinG pills baby....cüz the only place üll get me is in ür dreamz!"
"stop lookin at me dat way.... ur scarin me"
"Life's like a dick..when it gets hard screw it"
"When a man talks dirty to a woman, it is sexual harrassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it is $3.95 a minute."
"Never say good-bye if you still wanna try, never give up if you still feel you can go on, never say you don't love a person anymore if you can't let go"
"Just because I am a bitch doesn't mean I can't be a princess. I am just a bitchy princess."
"You will know when you love someone cuz you will want him to be happy even if you are not a part of his happiness"
"You know it is love when you can't fall asleep cuz reality is better than your dreams."
"My name ain't Elmo... but you can tickle me if you want"
"Everyone gets a chance in the spotlight, you can have it when I`m done"
"At first, I cried beacause I didn`t have you...why do I still cry now that I do"
"If you don`t stand for something, you will fall for everything."
"Life hates death...but life only exists to die."
"yesterday is gone, tomorrow is a mystery and today a gift, thats why we call it the present"
"two wrongs dont make a right but it sure as hell makes things even"
"If he tells you to fall for him make him promise to catch you"
"I'm not a bitch-I'm the bitch& baby ur jus pissed cuz I'm not ur bitch!"
"Love is like heaven but can hurt like hell"
"I wish my mom told me the same thing about guys as she did about scary movies "Don't worry honey they're all fake"
"Why don't you go outside and play hide and go fuck yourself?"
"I said no to drugs, but they refused to listen."
"I still miss my ex, but my aim has gotten better."
"If you believe that something small cannot make a difference, try sleeping in a room with a mosquito in it."
"I hope life isnt a big joke cuz I dont get it."
"Guys have feelings too. but like...who cares?"
"I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them."
"Next mood swing: 6 minutes."
"I hate everybody, and you're next."
"Please don't make me kill you."
"And your point is..?"
"I used to be schizophrenic, but we're okay now."
"I'm busy. You're ugly. Have a nice day."
"Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it."
"Of course I don't look busy..I did it right the first time."
"Why do people with closed minds always open their mouths?"
"I'm multi-talented: I can talk and annoy you at the same time."
"Do NOT start with me. You will NOT win."
"You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP."
"All stressed and no one to choke."
"I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people."
"How can I miss you if you won't go away?"
"Sorry if I look interested. I'm not."
"If we are what we eat, I'm fast, cheap and easy."
"Don't make me mad! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies."
"Practise safe sex. Go screw yourself."
"Please Tell your pants it's not polite to point."
"You're just jealous 'coz the voices are talking to me."
"The earth is full. Go home."
"Eat right, exercise. Die anyway."
"Saw it...Wanted it...Had a fit...Got it."
"The road to a friends house is never long"
"It doesn't matter how late you schedule your first class you'll sleep right through it"
"You change and change a lot and barely notice it"
"Hey.. college kids through airplanes too"
"You can know everything and fail a test"
"You can get used to anything you find out about your roomate"
"I've noticed that people who are late are often so much happier than the people who have to wait for them"
"Some mistakes are too much fun to make once"
"Like yourself before you like anyone else, because when you are alone you will be very unhappy"
"Love is a mistake..but it's one worth making"
"If you like him..tell him before someone else does"
"I ALWAYS win..except when I lose...but then I just don't count it"
"I don't blame congress..If I had 600 billion dollars I'd be irresponsible too"
"I snore. I don't kare. I don't have to. I' m asleep"
"Tell your little voices to SHUT UP! I can't hear mine"
"Why is it that when our kids are naughty we ask "Do you want a spanking?" What are they going to say? "Yes please may I have two?"
"Medicine only works if its cherry flavoured"
"Everything you want isn't everything you need"
"The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was"
"Don't draw fire it irritates the people around you"
"Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter cuz nobody listens"
"Only love can break your heart"
"The best car safety device is a rear-view mirror with a cop in it"
"When I was born I was surprised cuz I couldn't talk for a year and a half"
"The best things in life aren't things"
"Be careful of your thoughts, they may become words at any moment"
"Smile it's the second best thing you can do with your mouth"
"I always dreamed I'd meet someone like you, I never dreamed I'd lose someone like you"
"True love never ends with a happy ending...True love never ends.."
"Never say good-bye when you still want to try. Never give up when you still feel like you can take it. Never say you don't love that person anymore when you can't let go"
"A good friend is the one who bails you outta jail.. A best friend is the one sitting beside you saying "that was awesome"
"To love someone and to be not loved back is like ripping your heart in two"
"You know what's funny? When you rip out my heart, stick it down my throat and still want to call us friends"
"Seize the day...Ruin someone elses. LOL"
"If you want something so bad..be patient.. it'll come to you"
"THE TRUTH: Don't you think it's funny how everybody is always asking for it, but when they get it they aren't happy with it because that's not what they wanted to hear?"
"If all goodbye's lead to heartbreak.. then wut good is in goodbye?"
"You never said a thing to hurt me... It's wut you didn't say that made me cry"
"Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm in love, but not with you. When we broke up, you thought I'd cry but all it was, was another guy. You told your friends I was a trick and I told mine you have a small dick I said I loved you and you thought it was true.. well guess wut okaya.. you got playeed too!!"
"A smile hides a thousand tears"
"Money can't buy happiness..that's wut shopping is for"
"All you hoes that think your fine. HA! I'll steal your man and still keep mine!"
"People say it's mind over matter. I don't mind and your boy dont seem to matter"
"Hotter then hot, sicker then sick, we may appear sweet, but we're gansta chicks"
