A Square Wedding
Christopher La Bianca AKA "Geode"
Mini-Fic Series, Fanfic #15
Bugenhagen floated impatiently at the alter. He looked at his watch every few moments.
"Ho Ho Hooo, Oh dear. They are very late! If she doesn't come soon, Meteor may actually hit the Planet before the wedding!" Bugenhagen groaned. He sighed. Aeris, the flower girl, walked up behind him.
"Don't worry Bugen. They'll be here on time," Aeris smiled. Bugenhagen nodded.
"Is everyone else ready?" Bugenhagen asked. Aeris nodded and gestured behind her. Vincent, Red XIII, Cid, and Barret were all dressed in tuxedos. Tifa, Yuffie, Shera, Marlene, and Lucrecia were dressed as the bride's maids. Vincent frowned.
"I want to wear my crimson cape," Vincent whined. Lucrecia walked over to Vincent.
"I think you look lovely. Just don't transform into anything while you're in that outfit. It's rented," Lucrecia added. Red XIII was busy trying to scratch a bow tie from his neck.
"Hey! You keep that on you foo'!" Barret warned the lion creature. He revealed his gun arm. Tifa grabbed his arm.
"Ahem. No shooting right now Barret," Tifa reminded the man. He withdrew his gun-arm and nodded. Cloud suddenly ran in from the front of the church.
"Guys! The ring is missing!" Cloud shouted. There was confusion and murmurs through the pews.
"What? Oh..." Cid started, but Marlene was standing in right in next to him, "Fudgcicle!"
"Oh no!" Cait Sith whined from the kitchen. "The wedding will be ruined and all my cooking will go to waste!" He hopped in wearing a chef's hat. Vincent was about to add his, "....." opinion, but he noticed Yuffie shaking a little. He grabbed her by the shoulder.
"What are you hiding Yuffie?" Vincent demanded.
"Oh... Um... Uh... No...Nothing," Yuffie stuttered. Vincent smacked her in the back. A ring fell from her grasp.
"Yuffie!" Aeris cried out as she plucked the ring from the ground.
"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean it," Yuffie apologized. "It's just a habit..." Yuffie replied gloomly. She stared down at the sparkling ring.
"It's OK. Just keep the stealing to a minimum," Tifa added.
"Well... Now that that's settled, we just need a bride! The groom is here waiting!" Cloud motioned to Mike at the front of the church. Cid scratched his head.
"Who could be keeping her," Cid wondered. Cloud suddenly had a light bulb over his head.
"Ahh... I learned how to dodge Flash... No! I think I know whose behind this!" Cloud replied.
"Who?" Red XIII asked.
"There is only one person who could do it... And that's Sephiroth!"
Sephiroth's theme music cues up in the background.
"But why?" Bugenhagen inquired.
"Simple. Sephiroth knows that Holy will show up to give it's own blessings to the bride and groom. If Holy shows up, it might just shatter Meteor in it's own free time. And we know Sephiroth wouldn't want that," Cloud explained.
"Where could he be though?" Cid asked. Just then, Cait Sith received a message on his spy network.
"This just in," Cait Sith narrated. "Sephiroth is holding up traffic at a nearby bridge!"
Sephiroth stood in the middle of a huge bridge. A chocobo pulled carriage held the beautiful bride, Erin, was stalled in front of the bridge. Sephiroth had all the traffic backed up on the bridge. He swung his Masamune back and forth at cars approaching to near him. A cop drove by in his motorcycle.
"Uhh... Excuse me. What seems to be the problem sir?" the cop asked Sephiroth.
"Oh! Good Evening Officer," Sephiroth replied. He lowered his Masmamune. "I'm just preventing a marriage from taking place so that Meteor won't be destroyed," Sephiroth explained. The cop stared wide-eyed at Sephiroth.
"Ok sir. I'm just going to have to bring you to the office so we can have this all straightened out," the cop explained. Sephiroth lifted his Masamue.
"No. I'm not leaving this bridge!" Sephiroth shouted. The cop sighed and took out a slip and paper.
"Then I'm just going to have to write you a ticket," the cop replied. Sephiroth's face went white.
"What?! No!!" Sephiroth shouted. He lifted the Masamune and slashed the paper from his hand. The cop stepped away from Sephiroth.
"The police are helpless against the huge sword weapon that the strange man wields," Cait Sith continued.
"Oh! We have to do something!" Aeris moaned. Cait Sith nodded.
"Already ahead of you Aeris!" Cait Sith smiled.
Just then, a red caped figure appeared in the sky.
"Hey! What's that?" a man cried.
"It's a bird!"
"It's a plane!"
"It's a white hamster with red wings!!" Mog flew down to the bridge.
"Super Mog at your service," Mog shook the policeman's hand. "I'll take it from here." The cop stepped back. "Now! Leave this place Sephiroth before I have to summon my true power!" Mog added.
"You couldn't beat me!" Sephiroth laughed.
"Oh no?" Mog squeaked. "Look over there!" Mog cried.
"Huh?" Sephiroth whirled around.
"Ha ha!" Mog cried. He grabbed Sephiroth's Masamune and chucked it off the bridge.
"What! Noooooooo!!!!!!" Sephiroth screamed as he jumped after it. Mog brushed off his hands.
"Well... That takes care of that," Mog squeaked. Suddenly, the alarm went off on his watch. "Oooops. We have to hurry." Mog picked up the chocobo cart and lifted it in the air. He flapped his little red wings and lifted himself and the carriage into the air.
Later that day...
Mike and Erin had a splendid wedding. They walked down the aisle in great joy. Barret was wiping his eyes on Vincent's sleeve.
"I always cry at weddings," Barret sobbed. Cid pulled out a cigarette.
"Ahem! No smoking Mr. Highwind!" Bugenhagen reminded him. Cid tensed.
"Oh..." Marlene looked up at Cid, "Kjata!"
"It was a wonderful wedding," Red XIII told Bugenhagen.
"Ho ho hoooo... I thought so!"
Greetings,
This fanfic was specially dedicated to two of the webmasters at RPGamer on their special day. I just wish that the fanfiction department was run better there! Otherwise, the site is run great.
If you have any comments about this fanfic, please feel free to E-mail me.
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- Christopher La Bianca AKA Geode