~Bliss~
A Short Xenogears Fic
By: Melissa McClendon


~So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters~




The good things never last... Grandfather had always said that and now I know it to be true... Yui sighed, closing her golden eyes and finally allowing a single tear to fall as her husband rode off in that damned land crab of his into the early dawn after Fei... Fei... She trembled as the crisp mountain air kissed her bare skin, quickly reminding her that she was standing in her backyard with a house full of the Lahan survivors wearing nothing but a thin chemise. Slowly, as Citan and the land crab finally disappeared from her visual range, she walked back inside his workshop to collect her clothes from their little... distraction the night before and to get dressed in preparation for the long day ahead.
He told me to go to Shevat and wait for him... But I'm not just some damned housewife! He knows that I can't just sit and wait patiently for him to waltz back through that door, unharmed... He'll be hurt... Solaris will be the death of him and all because of... Fei... She finally collapsed against the wall where Citan had first taken her the night before in a frenzy of passion, the reality of their newest situation finally hitting her. Everything had been perfect before Fei came along... It had been bliss... Just Hyuga, Midori, and myself living in Shevat... When he finally told me that the Emperor had demanded he complete one final mission, I knew things would never be the same for us...
" Damn you, Hyuga Ricdeau... Why did I have to fall in love with you?..."
Well... Its not like I purposely fell in love with him... It just... happened... Even after we came to the surface, we were still happy... Even with the threat of Id looming over us...
Yui sighed, deciding it would do her absolutely no good to dwell over the matter, it was out of her hands. How dare I suggest he ignore his emperor? With that final thought, Yui finished donning her dress and walked back to the house to prepare breakfast for the Lahan survivors. I hope Midori was alright last night... Neither of us being in the house with her...


~Never cared for what they say
Never cared for the games they play
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
And I know~


The day before, after the Lahan Incident

The Uzuki home


Midori Uzuki stared with an emotionless gaze in her tiny chair at Dan as he sat brooding in the corner of the kitchen. As always, she had expressed little and said nothing, even as her mother and father scuried about the house treating the wounded and... disposing of the dead. Fei had left hours ago under the advice of her father through the Blackmoon Forest and onto Aveh, far from the path of destruction he had created the previous night.
Her dark brown eyes shot up, Dan's sudden sniffling breaking her train of silent thought. Was he... crying?... Its understandable... He just lost his sister...
"...Alice..." He buried his reddened face in his hands to hide his fresh tears.
Atleast he isn't yelling at Daddy and Momma anymore... Midori cringed and scrunched up her tiny nose at that thought, reminding her Dan was the reason she had a headache now. ...Maybe I should say something to him...
Midori opened her small mouth to say something to Dan when Yui came storming into the kitchen, causing Midori to quickly refrain from her desired action when she realized her mother was very angry. She glanced around the corner to see Citan coming their way, his face and body expressing nothing but the pace of his step and the fact that Midori could sense her father's frustration told her otherwise. Oh dear... Her parents rarely fought, especially when they knew others were around, but when they did, it seemed like the whole world was coming to an end.
" Yui, will you please calm down and listen to me--" Citan managed to hide the edge in his voice, but Midori instantly sensed it.
" No, Hyuga !" Midori winced, her mother was either too angry to care whether others heard her call her father by his real name, or they had finally settled in all of the survirors and they didn't realize Midori and Dan were sitting right in front of them. Midori glanced over at Dan to witness his reaction. He was still sobbing in the corner, oblivious to everything. " I don't care! I never cared for what they say and nothing in your power can change that! They've always came first! Before me, before yourself, before Midori, your own daughter! Now your going to go off and get yourself killed for something you don't even believe in and you don't care how this will effect me or your daughter !"
" Yui..." He grabbed her gently by her shoulders to calm her down and would have embraced her had she not pulled away from him.
" Don't touch me ." She hissed. Midori knew her mother was hurt and was using every bit of her willpower to not break down and cry in front of him. " I don't want any memory of your touch when you're gone ."
" Damn it, Yui !" Citan finally lost his temper, grabbing her wrist and forcing her to look into his eyes.
Midori gasped, she had never known her father to be violent, especially with her mother, although she could sense there was a darker side to Citan Uzuki.
Citan paused, hardly believing what he had just done. He tore his gaze away from Yui's emotionless gold eyes, finding his daughter and even Dan staring at him in disbelief.
" Doctor Uzuki... " A young woman, one of the survivors of Lahan, hesitantly began, finally breaking the tension. " Its my son... I think you may need to take a look at him. "
Citan didn't even look at the girl, instead he was staring back at Yui, waiting for any change in her emotionless face. There was none, not even the quickening of breathe. " I will be there in one moment, miss ."
" Thank you, doctor ."
Midori knew her father wanted to say something to her mother, so many things... So much pain... He doesn't want to leave us... I don't want him to leave... Momma, please make him stay! Say something, Momma! But it was to no avail, neither Citan nor Yui said a word and he finally walked off, no external changes to his appearance even though Midori sensed his despair.
Yui waited until her husband was well out of hearing distance before she finally broke down, her heartache seeping through every tear she shed.
Daddy made her cry... She doesn't know he wants to stay here with us... Midori bit her lower lip nervously, feeling her own tears threatening to fall. " Momma..." She whispered when Yui left the kitchen, covering her eyes to prevent inquiries to her tears as she walked outside to be left in her solitude and to collect her thoughts.


~Trust I seek, and I find in you
Everyday for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters...~


Dusk


Citan sighed, breathing in deeply the crisp mountain air from atop the ladder where his telescope rest, wishing he could think of some alternative to the impeding events. She cried for over an hour out there... I hate it when she cries... It causes me to just want to go and impale the person who caused it, but how do I impale myself? And would that not cause more tears? Yui... Do you not realize I have to do this? Did you not sense my thoughts or were you too upset with me?... I left Solaris for you with the vow to His Majesty that I would complete my final mission when the time came and now that it has come... I do not want to leave, but I cannot betray Solaris anymore than I can you... And I most certainly cannot hide from them... Citan silently damned his telepathic link to Cain.
Citan quickly returned to reality when he heard light footsteps making their way up the ladder, praying Yui was finally ready to speak with him. He turned around to find Midori's angelic face and cherubic curls poking through the opening, her emotionless brown eyes staring up at him. Those are my eyes staring back at me... Yui always said Midori was my... Hyuga Ricdeau's daughter.
Daddy... Midori sniffled and reached up to rub her swollen nose.
She has been crying too... I should not have presumed she would not know. Citan bent down and picked up his tiny daughter in fear that she would fall down the ladder and withdrew his handerkerchief for her. " Midori, you know better than to climb up the ladder like that. What if your mother had seen you ?" He tried to act normal, but he knew Midori saw right through his facade.
Why are you leaving Momma? Why are you leaving me? Did we do something wrong?
Midori was extremely intelligent, like her parents, and was destined to become a child prodigy if she wasn't one already; but there was still that underlying insecurity of abandonment that Citan knew all too well. Midori... Sweetheart, I do not want to leave you or your mother. You both are more important to me than anything. But this is something I must do or I would lose both of you.
Cain... He is making you do this. He is making you leave Momma and me...
Citan suppressed a smile. His daughter was very intuitive. Midori, before you were born, I made a promise to Emperor Cain that I would help him when the time came. That is the only way he would let me marry your mother and live in Shevat. Do you remember Shevat? Midori nodded, resting her head on her father's strong shoulder and closing her eyes. Well, that time has come, as much as we do not like it. But if I do not follow my orders, bad people will come and hurt you and your mother.... They would take you both away from me. I cannot let that happen. Therefore, I must go Midori.
Midori yawned and snuggled closer to him for warmth, the now night air growing colder by the minute. I understand, Daddy. But you should talk to Momma... She is very sad and I don't think she really understands...
Citan smiled and held his daughter close as he made his way back down the ladder, realizing she had fallen asleep from exhaustion. Yui does not know half of the sacrifices I made to be with her.


~Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters...~


" I placed Midori in her bed with the other children. Everyone is resting now... except for us..." Citan trailed off, uncharacteristically quiet as he stared at his wife's backside.
Yui simply nodded, continuing to stare at the rising moon. Just leave me alone, Hyuga, please... She closed her eyes, forcing herself to remain strong. She didn't want him to know just how much he was hurting her.
Yui... Please do not shut yourself off from me... I cannot do this without your strength... Do you honestly think I want to leave you and Midori?... He hesitantly reached out and rest his hand on her slim shoulder. "...Yui..." He no longer tried to conceal his emotions, his desperation seeping through his voice.
Hyuga... In the blink of an eye, Yui found herself in his arms, clutching him for support as her body wracked uncontrollably with her heartbroken sobs. " Hyuga..." She whispered against him. " I don't want things to change between us... I don't want things to go back to being the way they were, before Shevat, before everything... When you were the Solarian commander and I was Shevat's guardian... W-we'll be enemies!!" Yui buried her face in his shoulder, her voice now no more than a pleading whisper. "You're... You're abandoning us... For something you don't even believe in... The only thing that will become of this is I will lose my husband... And Midori will lose her father... You will be hurt... Possibly killed..."
" Yui... I need you to believe in me... I cannot do this without you... Do you not realize this?..." He gently carressed her small backside, running his fingers through her silky hair. The scent of fresh roses suddenly reached his nostrils, causing him to smile. It was her scent.
" I just don't want to lose you... I can't lose you..."
" Shh, sweetheart... You will not lose me... I promise." I cannot leave yet... Not like this... Fei can wait until morning... One of his hands gently glided up her arm, past her neck, tilting her face up with his thumb. His mouth descended on hers gently, perhaps for the last time. Yui finally pulled away from him, her gold eyes smiling. Citan returned her smile, tenderly wiping away her tears. Fei can wait until morning... Citan suddenly whisked her into his arms and began walking in long strides towards his workshop.
" W-where are you taking me ?" She whispered breathlessly as they entered the small room.
Citan flashed her a devilish grin as he locked the door behind them. " As if you do not know ."



" It is almost dawn ." Citan whispered, staring out the window of his workshop from where he lay in the floor holding his wife close, her dress serving as a make-shift blanket. " I should leave soon ."
Yui simply nodded, snuggling against his bare chest. It was good while it lasted... Just the three of us... It was bliss...
" No matter what happens, Yui... I will return... " I'm afraid you won't come back to me this time... Yui's words echoed throughout his mind as Citan's dark eyes rested on his beautiful wife. Yui... I did not deserve you all those years ago... I do not deserve you now... You deserve so much more than the dismal life I gave you... " Things will be normal for us again... Just you, Midori, and myself... It will be bliss..." I do not want to leave now... I do not want to leave you and Midori...
" I love you, Hyuga ." She whispered softly, blinking back fresh tears.
Citan clutched her slender body tightly to him, not wanting to let go. I know you love me Yui, but why? I was never the ideal husband, but you were the perfect wife... A good man deserved you, not me... "...Yui..."
" Its alright, Hyuga ," she soothed. " I know..."
" I will come back, Yui, and things will return to normal, before this whole charade began. "
I hope that's true, Hyuga, for both our sakes...



Present Time


Daddy's gone... Isn't he? Midori demanded softly when her mother finally entered the kitchen.
Yui glanced up from her train of thought to see Midori sitting in her chair, watching her mother with her emotionless brown eyes. Hyuga's eyes... " Yes, sweetheart. He wants us to go home and wait for him there ."
Midori actually smiled at her mother, everything had been perfect in Shevat. Just Momma, Daddy, and me... Will he know how to get back there?
" Of course, sweetheart. We just have to wait a little longer and things will be the way they used to..." I hope so anyway...


~fin~


Disclaimer: Xenogears and all of its characters are property of Squaresoft, I just borrowed them for my own pathetic attempt at another Citan/Yui fic. Believe me, I made NO money from this or any other fic I have written. Also, the quotes between scenes are excerpted from the Metallica song "Nothing Else Matters" which belongs entirely to them. It just served partly as my inspiration for this sappy fic.

Dedication: I wrote this fic with my significant other in mind. He is my Citan, my Vincent, my Bowman, my Beowulf, and my Noel. He inspires me in so many ways and without him, I probably would have given up on fanfiction long ago.. He knows who he is and that I love him.

Author's Notes: Its been a long time since I wrote anything, unless you count my SO2 fic "Desperate Measures", but never fear, this sappy fic is just a taste of my "comeback". Not that any of you care to hear, but I've been really depressed concerning my writing the past few months, that no one cared about romantic fiction in the RPG genre. Many of you have proved me wrong, and for that I am eternally grateful. But honestly, it was not the readers who made me feel this way but certain people who would discourage me from writing about the characters I love most. Unfortunately for them, I have not given up yet and be expecting updates for all of my WIPs and new fiction for Xenogears, Final Fantasy, and Star Ocean within the next few weeks. Thanks once again to all of you who have supported me in the past. Oh yes, if this fic sounds really weird, I wrote in the middle of one of my countless sleepless nights while listening to one of my favorite songs, so forgive me if you find it really pathetic. ^_~


~Melissa "Dei" McClendon